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erotic spark - is there or never will be?


white123

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I'm not any playboy or something like that but I had a few relationships (but not so long) and I found out that if there is no "spark" at the first date, it will never come.. what are your experiences?

 

I only got a two types of dates (when I really like a girl):

 

1.) the girl want to sleep with me and she is really horny with me in the bed,she really wanna f*ck with me

 

2.) the girl want to date me, but it is more a "mind" solution - she feels that we are connected, we understand each other, I'm a good man for relationship and she believes that love and passion will come at the future

 

frankly, I don't. I think that "spark" is very physical condition and chemical - the spark is here or it is not and never will be there..

 

but anyway I'm curious about your experiences, am I right or... :bunny:

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That "spark" is called physical attraction. I'll know it by the end of the first date. Sure, I may be attracted to a guy and want to f--- his brains out but I can wait and let the anticipation and desire build. It all depends on the guy, and how badly I want him at that moment.

 

Obviously I'll act interested and desire a LTR if we click and I feel comfortable but I may be mentally undressing you too. :bunny::cool:

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creighton0123

I've found that if you don't feel a spark after the third date, it won't happen.

 

I embrace a three date rule: if the other person wants to, I will give him three dates before I make up my mind if I have had fun on the first and second.

 

Things that have resulted in my not having a second or third date:

 

1. Conversation doesn't flow well with me. They talk too much and don't engage me in the conversation.

2. They expect me to pick up the tab on a $100 table (I'm not going to pay that much for a dinner with someone I don't know is going to work out... might be different if I were heterosexual).

3. They don't want a second or third date.

 

It's usually worked for me and allowed me to rule out people I might have felt an initial spark with (due to horniness or alcohol) only to realize that I had no attraction after the second or third date. Also discovered that attraction is subjective given the environment you're in. You might have a hard time feeling an initial connection with someone in a loud resturaunt, but find that a quiet one or outdoors really changes the energy and experience enough to discover latent attraction.

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