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Dating across the age divide


reservoirdog1

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reservoirdog1

I'm asking this out of interest; not because I'm intending to let "society's viewpoint" govern what I do, but because I'm genuinely curious.

 

Which does society tend to have more of a problem with: older woman with younger guy, or older guy with younger woman?

 

This does relate to my situation; coincidentally, both TBXW and I are dating people who are significantly older than us. TBXW's bf is early 50s and she's 30; the woman I started dating very recently is 46 and I'm 32.

 

Any viewpoints to share?

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sportsloving

I was dating someone almost ten years older, never bothered me. I don't know that anyone really noticed the age. My brother's wife was 11 years older than he was ... you couldn't tell based on looks.

 

From my stand point, it seems if the age different is easily noticeable, then the general is against the older woman/younger man. The older man/younger woman seems to be "forgiveable" or understandable (?).

 

Unless you are Anna Nicole... :)

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I suppose it's a leftover from sexism. After all, women are objects to be possessed, no? In a culture that tries to teach everyone to revere youth and beauty above all, kudos go to the man, no matter how little he has bothered to take care of his aging self, who bags the prize young filly. So why not scorn a man who has the gall to fly in the face of popular culture and choose a woman who may actually not be physically perfect?

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In reference to the last post:

 

As long as you don't act on it, everything's cool. Obviously that would be illegal in a high school setting; unethical in a college situation.

 

It's OK to be infatuated with a teacher; I think that most of us have at least one about whom we can remember feeling that way.

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idunnowatodo

Really? why is it illegal? shouldnt love transcends age barrier?

 

and I dunno how to tell her i like her.

 

Sigh. I think she will avoid me if i tell her that.

 

I cant get her out of my mind, especially when I see her everyday, and Im looking forward to go to skl coz of her.

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It is a firing offense for teachers to go out with students. Teachers are considered to be in a position of power. Since it is *very* common for people to develop crushes on people in positions of power, it is possible their feelings could be abused. You could cause your teacher no end of trouble. Please reconsider your plans.

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Originally posted by idunnowatodo

Really? why is it illegal? shouldnt love transcends age barrier?

Sure, love can so transcend, but if bodily fluids transcend the age barrier, even with other barriers in place (I feel like Shakespeare), it's illegal. If she's motivating you to go to school, that's wonderful--but it's completely unethical for her to pursue anything with you.

 

Back to the original question, to avoid derailing, I tend to be upset with an older guy and a younger woman, but I'm talking girls below the age of 18--I feel like it's victimization, and I'm usually right.

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sportsloving
Originally posted by dyermaker

 

Back to the original question, to avoid derailing, I tend to be upset with an older guy and a younger woman, but I'm talking girls below the age of 18--I feel like it's victimization, and I'm usually right.

 

I agree. Anyone under the age of 18 should be off limits to any one older. Whats a few years to wait if it is really important?

 

Good to see you again Dyer.

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I dont think its a case of disagreeing with you idunnowattodo, more a case of a teacher/pupil relationship being illegal.

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idunnowatodo

okie,

 

so u mean its legal if i graduated from college?

 

i will be graduating in 1 years time then.

 

SO it will be fine then?

 

SHould i profess my feelings for her?

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dudesomewhere

idunnowatodo, you have 1 year to go, that can seem like an eternity or a flash when it comes to love. You could take that chance but such things can make it hard while you school

 

1 year, I don't know. Age isn't an issue with me, it's all about timing IMO. If you were rejected and you had 1 year to go things could become too hard for you, you know?

 

gl friend

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HokeyReligions
Originally posted by reservoirdog1

Which does society tend to have more of a problem with: older woman with younger guy, or older guy with younger woman?

 

It seems like OW/YM is more frowned upon or ridiculed. Maybe its because men as more visual creatures and associated with looking at younger women (especially in porn) that some people (mainly men??) cannot imagine being with someone who may end up looking like their mother in a few years. Look how much older Barbara Bush looks then her husband (well, when he was in office anyway--his age has cought up!)

 

I've heard comments like "wait 'till she gets a little older and starts to sag--he will leave her for a younger model" when talking about an OW/YM, but when talking about an OM/YW I hear comments more congratulatory like "He cought himself a young'un! Way to go!"

 

It might go back to the old thought that women mature faster then men. Looking at an OW/YM one might wonder if the OW's emotional development is as mature as it *should* be?

 

I dunno. I don't have a problem with either secenario. Every relationship is unique.

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End of my rope

I'm not saying it should have happened...but I used to make out with my high school band director. He was hot and only 26 when I was 17. Ahhh...good times...

 

As far as the original question...I think it's more "normal" for a younger girl/older guy to go out...but not the opposite...I don't know why...that's just the way I personally view it.

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I think it's more "normal" for a younger girl/older guy to go out...but not the opposite...I don't know why...that's just the way I personally view it.

 

 

SURVEY SAYS: 9 out of 10 band directors agree!

 

Ah...good times...

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End of my rope
Originally posted by wideawake

I think it's more "normal" for a younger girl/older guy to go out...but not the opposite...I don't know why...that's just the way I personally view it.

 

 

SURVEY SAYS: 9 out of 10 band directors agree!

 

Ah...good times...

 

Did you "interview" the other 9 personally? Or was it hearsay?

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Just hearing about teachers who do this kind of thing makes my blood boil! It makes all teachers look bad. It is not only illegal, it's disgusting! I work in education. No one should be doing this!!!!! Sorry to be so emphatic, but it's plain wrong.

 

Pretty much if you're over the age of 18, stay away from people under the age of 18 in any sort of dating (kissing included) scenario. One could get arrested.

 

Back to the original question: I don't think that I could date anyone much younger than myself. I tend to find men 10 years my junior (they would be 25 and of legal age) too immature for my dating tastes. No offense intended to anyone younger! It's just that I wouldn't want to date them... I have dated men younger than myself.

 

I would also date someone older than myself. Have done so on several occasions. Again, I wouldn't want the range to be too much higher. 10 years.

 

Who knows? Maybe this has something to do with my age range right now. Maybe as I get older, I would consider dating someone who is more my senior or my junior.

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