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I need your dating , thoughts and experiences :)


graemills

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I'm a 24 woman who has been in 1 relationship. I've hooked up with guys after but don't know how to go about seriously dating. Maybe I am still not ready (after almost two years?)...or maybe I just don't know what I'm doing. Can anyone give me some of their experiences or advice?

Here is a brief background.

I grew up pretty asexual in a strict Christian home.

 

I went to college and no longer held the same beliefs as my family but still was fascinated in the idea of finding "the one" (not sure what I think now)

 

I had secret crushes all of my life but never dated or did anything about them... (often times I didn't even tell friends and still don't really)

 

I met this very persistant passionate writer.

 

We weren't dating other people and never really had a "lets be exclusive talk", we just knew we were from the beggining.

 

It wasn't till a few months into the relationship that I felt totally myself without nervousness.

 

He was my first love and after 2 1/2 years we broke up.

 

Since then I have seemed to use guys for an ego-boost, suedo-comfort or whatever it is. I have slept with 7 guys since him and wasn't really interested in them for more when we hooked up.

 

Some of them I have hurt because they felt something for me while I used them.

 

I didn't intentionally set out to use people. It is just something I'm starting to notice about myself.

 

I don't want to be intimate with men unless we have a foundation and connection. I don't want to hurt anyone either.

 

I do miss a relationship.

 

I don't really know how to casually date though. I have only either been right into a relationship or have hooked up.

 

How do I know the difference between people who want to date for a relationship and people who want to hook up?

 

Are there unwritten rules for dating?

 

How can I date to end up in a meaningful relationship?

 

How do I break it off with someone? ( I am awful at that)

 

Why am I subconciously creeped out by guys who do ask me out on dates? :/

 

Should I assume that someone I am dating casually is dating other girls casually at the same time?

 

bla haha thanks for reading this.

Edited by graemills
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To be honest one of your biggest problems (that you admitted yourself) is you put out to easy... guys generally wont want to date you if you are putting out right after you meet. As that old saying goes "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?". Guys like sex, and if they are offered sex with no strings attached of course they are going to jump at it. BTW I'm not saying anything bad about you. I'm just saying one of the many reasons why you are not getting asked out too often.

 

Now if you want guys to start liking you, and to start dating you, let them get to know you a little bit before you put out. Let them wine and dine you. Let them know what sort of person you are etc...

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