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Difficulty getting close to women and building a relationships


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For the past couple of months I have been considering hiring a escort because I want to experience sexuality of being human. However, I'm having difficultly of pursing it because I'm feeling this sense that I will regret it. I want to have sex with someone because she likes me like or least find me sexually attractive.

 

I'm currently a student at a university and before I had transferred I had hardly met anyone, most people kept to themselves. I' am shy but I would say not as shy like how I used to be I can talk to people, I make friends and have several, so I have become a social person. I'm pretty social with women, but when I see or meet that one girl who catches my eyes, inside me I really want a date with her to see what she is all about, that is when all things stop. I just cannot and I don't know how to make myself clear that I would like to date. Occasionally, I sometime will not look at a woman in the eye when I talk to her but I'm improving myself on that. I just want to be that normal guy to ask her out without being nervous. I guess rejection is part of it, but I think memories from high school still haunt me when I was in 10ht grade. I remember I had a crush on this girl and tried to ask her out and she just said eeeewww to me liek I'm gross, and I guess I'm afraid I might hear those words again. I can understand that I won't be accepted but saying eeww to someone does kind of hurt their feelings. Since then I never really tried again.

 

 

Now at I'm at this university in my mid 20's and now a senior, I would like to try and date someone. The next issue I have is the places to meet girls, I know college is a great place but its a bit difficult right now. I'm taking my major courses and people who has the same major as me are the ones who I see everyday. It's not like GE classes where range of people there. Of course I see girls walking around but it would be awkward to just come up to her and try to strike a conversation. Right now their is no clubs this semester due to budget cuts here in CA. I'm not into the bar and club scene either. I do have a profile on Date My School and I did met one girl on there and she is in Iowa and was chatting back and forth, she even asked for my skype but soon thing s faded and probably because were far apart. She is in Iowa and I'm in California. I just need places to meet girls who are local to me besides school. If you guys can suggest me places besides bars and clubs I will totally go for it. ( I live in San Francisco, CA, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of you on this forum live here.)

 

For longest I always thought it had to do with my race being a mixture of Indian and Latin but as talking to that girl in Iowa kind of proved myself wrong there. It seems as she found out I was far away things died out completely.

 

 

I'm still working on my confidence but I'm getting better as I do talk to girls in my class and hangout with a few. Being socially with them made me feel more comfortable talking with other girls, but I just had slight issue getting that "I want to date you" out of me.

 

Hopefully both women and men can help me me here.

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miss_jaclynrae
For the past couple of months I have been considering hiring a escort because I want to experience sexuality of being human. However, I'm having difficultly of pursing it because I'm feeling this sense that I will regret it. I want to have sex with someone because she likes me like or least find me sexually attractive.

 

I'm currently a student at a university and before I had transferred I had hardly met anyone, most people kept to themselves. I' am shy but I would say not as shy like how I used to be I can talk to people, I make friends and have several, so I have become a social person. I'm pretty social with women, but when I see or meet that one girl who catches my eyes, inside me I really want a date with her to see what she is all about, that is when all things stop. I just cannot and I don't know how to make myself clear that I would like to date. Occasionally, I sometime will not look at a woman in the eye when I talk to her but I'm improving myself on that. I just want to be that normal guy to ask her out without being nervous. I guess rejection is part of it, but I think memories from high school still haunt me when I was in 10ht grade. I remember I had a crush on this girl and tried to ask her out and she just said eeeewww to me liek I'm gross, and I guess I'm afraid I might hear those words again. I can understand that I won't be accepted but saying eeww to someone does kind of hurt their feelings. Since then I never really tried again.

 

 

Now at I'm at this university in my mid 20's and now a senior, I would like to try and date someone. The next issue I have is the places to meet girls, I know college is a great place but its a bit difficult right now. I'm taking my major courses and people who has the same major as me are the ones who I see everyday. It's not like GE classes where range of people there. Of course I see girls walking around but it would be awkward to just come up to her and try to strike a conversation. Right now their is no clubs this semester due to budget cuts here in CA. I'm not into the bar and club scene either. I do have a profile on Date My School and I did met one girl on there and she is in Iowa and was chatting back and forth, she even asked for my skype but soon thing s faded and probably because were far apart. She is in Iowa and I'm in California. I just need places to meet girls who are local to me besides school. If you guys can suggest me places besides bars and clubs I will totally go for it. ( I live in San Francisco, CA, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of you on this forum live here.)

 

For longest I always thought it had to do with my race being a mixture of Indian and Latin but as talking to that girl in Iowa kind of proved myself wrong there. It seems as she found out I was far away things died out completely.

 

 

I'm still working on my confidence but I'm getting better as I do talk to girls in my class and hangout with a few. Being socially with them made me feel more comfortable talking with other girls, but I just had slight issue getting that "I want to date you" out of me.

 

Hopefully both women and men can help me me here.

 

Cold approach. Coffee shops, bookstores, events... living in san fran... you should be going out a LOT more. There is so much to do there and dating can be fun.

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Rather you get a nice, older owman from a dating site who'd be willing to help you out, than an escort.

 

Anyhow, the above advice is good.

 

Best of luck!

 

:)

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Rather you get a nice, older woman from a dating site who'd be willing to help you out, than an escort.

 

Anyhow, the above advice is good.

 

Best of luck!

 

:)

 

I suck at dating sites, its highly competitive environment. 1 woman, 300 men, so its 1/300 women/men ratio. I can't this is exact true but I have read that online dating is more challenging than outside because your profile has to be top notch, nice photo (I suck at taking pictures) and these women will be looking for certain specific qualities. However, I manage to meet someone on Date My School, but it never materialize because we live to far apart. Other than that I believe I would have a hard time, if I could find someone who can give me good online dating tips I might be able to succeed. But I'm only 26 and I don't think I want to fall for a woman who is in her late 30's or inched in her 40's. But I guess just for sexual experience sake it might be a good idea.

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RebelWithoutACause

I don't think you should cold approach random women. It'll affect your self-confidence even further. I agree about the dating sites. It's a good place for shy people to showcase themselves whithout putting tthemselves on the line too much. If you only want to gain sexual experience, you have a better chance with the older ladies, some of them find younger, unexperienced men very attractive. Ask a friend to take some good pictures of you. In regads to your profile, you are a college student, you should be able to write something cohernt. And if you decide to go for OLD don't lead women on. Going after someone you don't find attractive, just out of desperation, is not cool.

 

Don't use escorts, it's immoral and illegal (at least where I live).

Good luck.

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I don't think you should cold approach random women. It'll affect your self-confidence even further. I agree about the dating sites. It's a good place for shy people to showcase themselves whithout putting tthemselves on the line too much. If you only want to gain sexual experience, you have a better chance with the older ladies, some of them find younger, unexperienced men very attractive. Ask a friend to take some good pictures of you. In regads to your profile, you are a college student, you should be able to write something cohernt. And if you decide to go for OLD don't lead women on. Going after someone you don't find attractive, just out of desperation, is not cool.

 

Don't use escorts, it's immoral and illegal (at least where I live).

Good luck.

 

How old are you speaking of?

 

Also how do I show or tell them I'm interested in getting laid if that you were suggesting me.

 

 

I just don't have that courage to anyone for sex, just not something I can do because I think I would scare her off and it will be all bad. I also want to know how to get a date.

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RebelWithoutACause
How old are you speaking of?

 

Also how do I show or tell them I'm interested in getting laid if that you were suggesting me.

 

 

I just don't have that courage to anyone for sex, just not something I can do because I think I would scare her off and it will be all bad. I also want to know how to get a date.

 

I'm not suggesting you try and lure women for sex. Of course you can't go around asking people to sleep with you. If you're considering escorts you probably think you've no other options. What I was saying is there are women out there who will find you attractive, and will not be turned off by your lack of experience. One possible way of finding those women is OLD. It might or it might not work for you but it's worth a try.

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todreaminblue

Hiring an escort is not experiencing human sexuality...it impedes it if anything .....because what you are doing is having sex with a sure thing....its not real...you will climax and she will pretend to climax, to get to you to climax faster, she will moan and sigh and call out your name and not mean any of it ....its a sexual act.......most clientele of escorts last in the ten minute bracket, especially inexperienced men it goes to five minutes.....and you pay for that....there are certain escorts it used to be a majority rule who wont kiss or let your perform oral.....as i said its not real, and most escorts have things they wont do they save it for their significant others if they have them so i dont understand guys who say they want to experience sex so they are thinking about escorts.....i think real sex is between a loving partner to experience that you shouldnt be paying for it......

 

 

gaining confidence does not happen because you go to bed with a sure thing,dont do it.......i can be totally honest and say sex doesnt help with approaching another you are attracted to,because i was an escort, and have had more experience than probably most on this board....when i am attracted to someone all bets are off, i am shy and reserved in nature, i can talk to any guy, but .....if a guy i like is in my vicinity, its a mess......i speak haltingly,i blush, ill try and do the confidence thing but my heart is racing...my fingers go cold......i have guys attracted to me who flirt and carry on....that also doesnt mean crap, because my heart when it invests in someone, i am at risk of getting hurt.....and that causes reserve.....thats what shyness is about ....fear of something....rejection....hurt....failure ...the only thing you can do is desensitize yourself, try to be who you are inside not on the outside, and let people see that person you are and hope for the best

 

 

sex without love is mechanical...its an act where you are acted upon and not a part of...i myself when escorting, used to be somewhere else during...counting seconds till it was over..all mechanics and rhythm thats it....turned you off seeing an escort ......hope so.....as a man like you,who wants to feel realness.....you deserve better.......deb

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Hiring an escort is not experiencing human sexuality...it impedes it if anything .....because what you are doing is having sex with a sure thing....its not real...you will climax and she will pretend to climax, to get to you to climax faster, she will moan and sigh and call out your name and not mean any of it ....its a sexual act.......most clientele of escorts last in the ten minute bracket, especially inexperienced men it goes to five minutes.....and you pay for that....there are certain escorts it used to be a majority rule who wont kiss or let your perform oral.....as i said its not real, and most escorts have things they wont do they save it for their significant others if they have them so i dont understand guys who say they want to experience sex so they are thinking about escorts.....i think real sex is between a loving partner to experience that you shouldnt be paying for it......

 

 

gaining confidence does not happen because you go to bed with a sure thing,dont do it.......i can be totally honest and say sex doesnt help with approaching another you are attracted to,because i was an escort, and have had more experience than probably most on this board....when i am attracted to someone all bets are off, i am shy and reserved in nature, i can talk to any guy, but .....if a guy i like is in my vicinity, its a mess......i speak haltingly,i blush, ill try and do the confidence thing but my heart is racing...my fingers go cold......i have guys attracted to me who flirt and carry on....that also doesnt mean crap, because my heart when it invests in someone, i am at risk of getting hurt.....and that causes reserve.....thats what shyness is about ....fear of something....rejection....hurt....failure ...the only thing you can do is desensitize yourself, try to be who you are inside not on the outside, and let people see that person you are and hope for the best

 

 

sex without love is mechanical...its an act where you are acted upon and not a part of...i myself when escorting, used to be somewhere else during...counting seconds till it was over..all mechanics and rhythm thats it....turned you off seeing an escort ......hope so.....as a man like you,who wants to feel realness.....you deserve better.......deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know that why I'm not considering it least for now. I'ma try to give dating a chance, but I just don't got enough balls how to ask a woman straight out for a date. I always get this feeling that she may not want to be bother by me even though that may not be the case. I guess I reflect a lot from what happen when I was in high school. Like I said, right now school seems not like a place for me too meet anyone because of the classes I'm in are so small .There is only 10 of us in total and you know that is very small for a college class. I just my major is tough and not many people are enrolled. If I were to take a GE course, then I would have a much better opportunity because there would be more people. What I would like to do is instead of depending semester after semester of of which class I can be in to meet people, I would like to be able to go outside of the school and people anywhere besides school. Just imagine when I graduate next year then I will have to meet people else where because you just go on campus and hangout to meet people. Just right now my options are narrow and I want to widen them by having other places to meet girls at besides school.

 

Someone said cold approach but then other said cold approach would hurt me, so I don't know which side to take on that.

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