Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 I had a date last week, it was during the day ( a coffee date) and for once I was very attracted to the guy. He had to return to work and left abruptly and formally (a handshake). A distant friend intriduced us and dhe has not heard from him either. Im a bit confused as we had exchanged photos snd he seemed really interested and then he met me and no feedback. He had told themutual friend he wanted marriage and kids. Its been 2 days ( 3 nights). I feel at a horrible age and i cannot take this lightly as i want to have kids etc. Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 I had a date last week, it was during the day ( a coffee date) and for once I was very attracted to the guy. He had to return to work and left abruptly and formally (a handshake). A distant friend intriduced us and dhe has not heard from him either. Im a bit confused as we had exchanged photos snd he seemed really interested and then he met me and no feedback. He had told themutual friend he wanted marriage and kids. Its been 2 days ( 3 nights). I feel at a horrible age and i cannot take this lightly as i want to have kids etc. Contact him and just say "hi, how's it going?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 Contact him and just say "hi, how's it going?" Is it not for him to contact me? I want to be liked ( and chased).. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Is it not for him to contact me? I want to be liked ( and chased).. He didn't like you, period. Move on and do NOT contact the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 It's tough. But not knowing why is a gift. Maybe the next guy you meet will like whatever quality turned this one off. Also, maybe with more time you wouldn't have liked him. Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Is it not for him to contact me? I want to be liked ( and chased).. Okay..well then don't. Just wait. But don't wait miserably. There are plenty of men in this world. Don't dissect the date, don't think you've done something 'wrong'. Just wait Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 It's tough. But not knowing why is a gift. Maybe the next guy you meet will like whatever quality turned this one off. Also, maybe with more time you wouldn't have liked him. I think women shouldn't worry so much about why or what he may or may not have liked about them. It's torture. Wonder why women always resort to this question when men don't act interested? (myself included-however I'm changing my ways). Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Liking a photo gets you in the door. Your personality has to keep them coming back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
skylark100 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 There's not much you can do. He's just not into you. We will make time if we're interested. It was only coffee, you shouldn't feel this rejected so soon. It's best to go into these meetings with no expectations. A handshake is a pretty good sign there was no connection. I'm going to guess he went to coffee with you as a favour to your friend ( sorry, know that sounds harsh...but...) On another note, you sound way too eager for kids and a relationship. Again, guys can sense this and get scared away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
skylark100 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 There's not much you can do. He's just not into you. We will make time if we're interested. It was only coffee, you shouldn't feel this rejected so soon. It's best to go into these meetings with no expectations. A handshake is a pretty good sign there was no connection. I'm going to guess he went to coffee with you as a favour to your friend ( sorry, know that sounds harsh...but...) On another note, you sound way too eager for kids and a relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 There's not much you can do. He's just not into you. We will make time if we're interested. It was only coffee, you shouldn't feel this rejected so soon. It's best to go into these meetings with no expectations. A handshake is a pretty good sign there was no connection. I'm going to guess he went to coffee with you as a favour to your friend ( sorry, know that sounds harsh...but...) On another note, you sound way too eager for kids and a relationship The kids thing was mentioned to the friend not me. In our conversation it was very neutral subjects like work, family and food etc. I made a lot of effort (subtle) and i think i looked better then my photo. I feel awful. Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 The kids thing was mentioned to the friend not me. In our conversation it was very neutral subjects like work, family and food etc. I made a lot of effort (subtle) and i think i looked better then my photo. I feel awful. Don't feel awful because a random man you shook hands with hasn't contacted you. That's ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 The kids thing was mentioned to the friend not me. In our conversation it was very neutral subjects like work, family and food etc. I made a lot of effort (subtle) and i think i looked better then my photo. I feel awful. It's not that he thought you were desperate, it's that you invested too much hope before you met him. Now you're feeling worse than if you'd had lower expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 If you're at an age where you need to have children for dying ovaries related reasons the time to **** around like a princess is over. This is it, im not a princess, im genuine and have no baggage. I presented myself as normal. Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 This is it, im not a princess, im genuine and have no baggage. I presented myself as normal. LOL "presented myself as normal". Act normally then and care less, you don't know him well enough to be broken up about this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 LOL "presented myself as normal". Act normally then and care less, you don't know him well enough to be broken up about this. true - I guess it was hyped up because he was a good match (on paper), looked better then his photo and a match intellectually = too good to be true. Double humilation that he now has to tell the friend he wasnt interested. I need tips to move on. Good dates are rare to find and gettinng one and not snaring him is worse. Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 true - I guess it was hyped up because he was a good match (on paper), looked better then his photo and a match intellectually = too good to be true. Double humilation that he now has to tell the friend he wasnt interested. I need tips to move on. Good dates are rare to find and gettinng one and not snaring him is worse. YOU tell your friend that YOU weren't interested. You thought he was nice but didn't feel a connect. Fake it til you make it. You'll be okay. There are plenty of men in the world, trust me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 I had a date last week, it was during the day ( a coffee date) and for once I was very attracted to the guy. He had to return to work and left abruptly and formally (a handshake). A distant friend intriduced us and dhe has not heard from him either. Im a bit confused as we had exchanged photos snd he seemed really interested and then he met me and no feedback. He had told themutual friend he wanted marriage and kids. Its been 2 days ( 3 nights). I feel at a horrible age and i cannot take this lightly as i want to have kids etc. If he is serious about getting married, then he doesn't want to waste time dating the wrong women and just move on to the next date, to find the right one. But both people "wanting to have kids" doesn't necessarily mean those 2 people are compatible or have any chemistry. If you don't have any other similar hobbies or personality traits, then "just reproducing babies" may be the worst reason to get married - it actually sounds more like an arranged marriage, where the man and woman have nothing else in common. I don't know your age, but the one good thing older men have is that they can date women as young as 25 who want to get married. He may have thought you were "too desperate and needy to get married and find a husband." Its a turn-off when a woman wants to rush into getting married without even knowing a guy for any length of time. It sounds the woman may just want the financial security of a husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 If he is serious about getting married, then he doesn't want to waste time dating the wrong women and just move on to the next date, to find the right one. But both people "wanting to have kids" doesn't necessarily mean those 2 people are compatible or have any chemistry. If you don't have any other similar hobbies or personality traits, then "just reproducing babies" may be the worst reason to get married - it actually sounds more like an arranged marriage, where the man and woman have nothing else in common. I don't know your age, but the one good thing older men have is that they can date women as young as 25 who want to get married. He may have thought you were "too desperate and needy to get married and find a husband." Its a turn-off when a woman wants to rush into getting married without even knowing a guy for any length of time. It sounds the woman may just want the financial security of a husband. Yes but i didnot touch in the subject of marriage or kids, as the friend told me to keep it carefree. I just thought as he liked and complimented my photo, he may like me. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 true - I guess it was hyped up because he was a good match (on paper), looked better then his photo and a match intellectually = too good to be true. Double humilation that he now has to tell the friend he wasnt interested. I need tips to move on. Good dates are rare to find and gettinng one and not snaring him is worse. If you are an "intellectual, high powered Alpha female" it can also be that you came off as demanding and pushy, maybe too much to handle, and intimidating. But if you say you 2 have a lot in common, then it might be just him needing more time to get used to your personality and decide if he likes you enough to spend 20 years together. Guys who specifically want a "wife and babies" are usually looking for a more traditional "beta housewife-type woman who is good with kids." If an alpha female businesswoman comes off as being cold or not affectionate or crazy/demanding ADD types. There are some women who are the SATC wild party-girl types who can never find a steady boyfriend, and end up being 35 and trying to find a husband ASAP. He might think you are too wild and unreliable to be a good mother or have children. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Hes not interested so dont contact him. A guy should chase you a bit after a first date. If you have to chase him this early on, hes not into you. I understand if youre on a timeline you feel pressured to find someone soon, but dont get invested in men too early. Really, for the first month or so of seeing someone you shouldnt have expectations of it going anywhere Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 If you are an "intellectual, high powered Alpha female" it can also be that you came off as demanding and pushy, maybe too much to handle, and intimidating. But if you say you 2 have a lot in common, then it might be just him needing more time to get used to your personality and decide if he likes you enough to spend 20 years together. Guys who specifically want a "wife and babies" are usually looking for a more traditional "beta housewife-type woman who is good with kids." If an alpha female businesswoman comes off as being cold or not affectionate or crazy/demanding ADD types. There are some women who are the SATC wild party-girl types who can never find a steady boyfriend, and end up being 35 and trying to find a husband ASAP. He might think you are too wild and unreliable to be a good mother or have children. I played down my career , i think he got scared ofcommiting Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 Of course you aren't, but you think you are. The whole "I want to be chased like a rare prize" is all fine and good when you're 17. Not when you start going crazy if things don't work out after a first date because you desperately want ( and by now need ) to get pregnant asap. So what are you saying i should chase him? Link to post Share on other sites
Talak7 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Wow, Someone doesn't talk to you after a short coffee date and photo and you're broken up about it? Who cares? He probably didn't like you because you're the type of person to freak out about casually meeting someone and they turning it into a huge deal. Not that he could know that, but he could probably smell that... I know this hasn't been mentioned....but................. You said you exchanged photos. And then suddenly he ditches after shortly meeting you and leaves with a handshake? This is what I would do if someone sent me a photo that misrepresented the reality of their looks- regardless of how much of a misrepresentation it was Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hi Powered Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 Wow, Someone doesn't talk to you after a short coffee date and photo and you're broken up about it? Who cares? He probably didn't like you because you're the type of person to freak out about casually meeting someone and they turning it into a huge deal. Not that he could know that, but he could probably smell that... I know this hasn't been mentioned....but................. You said you exchanged photos. And then suddenly he ditches after shortly meeting you and leaves with a handshake? This is what I would do if someone sent me a photo that misrepresented the reality of their looks- regardless of how much of a misrepresentation it was The photo was realistic, recent and represented me, the guy disappeared for no valid reason. Link to post Share on other sites
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