triciabuzo Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 It's been really rocky between my boyfriend and I. He is a single father, and I knew going into this that his child would always be number one, as she should be, and I always admired what a great father he was. His ex moved across the country with his child, and when he visits he stays in a hotel. This time, he told me he can't afford the hotel but still wants to visit his daughter, so he planned on staying at his ex's house......... I know I could never tell him not to go, because I want him to see his daughter, however, the idea of him staying at his ex-girlfriend's house for a week makes me uneasy. When I tell him how uncomfortable I am about it, he tells me "I get that, but my daughter always comes first, so if this is what I have to do I'm doing it regardless of how you feel." I've understood and respected his decisions for the last two years, but it seems that the few times I've ever gotten upset about anything, he won't work on it with me.... he'll use the fact that he has a daughter to make me feel guilty. I really do try to be as understanding as possible but it feels like a never ending battle. What do you guys think of the situation? Single moms and dad, your opinion would really help. Link to post Share on other sites
NiceGuyDTW Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 It's been really rocky between my boyfriend and I. He is a single father, and I knew going into this that his child would always be number one, as she should be, and I always admired what a great father he was. His ex moved across the country with his child, and when he visits he stays in a hotel. This time, he told me he can't afford the hotel but still wants to visit his daughter, so he planned on staying at his ex's house......... I know I could never tell him not to go, because I want him to see his daughter, however, the idea of him staying at his ex-girlfriend's house for a week makes me uneasy. When I tell him how uncomfortable I am about it, he tells me "I get that, but my daughter always comes first, so if this is what I have to do I'm doing it regardless of how you feel." I've understood and respected his decisions for the last two years, but it seems that the few times I've ever gotten upset about anything, he won't work on it with me.... he'll use the fact that he has a daughter to make me feel guilty. I really do try to be as understanding as possible but it feels like a never ending battle. What do you guys think of the situation? Single moms and dad, your opinion would really help. I'm a single father with two kids. I've broken up a relationship with someone that had the same feelings as you. In this particular case, you have to understand that he only sees his kid once in a while. So he will do whatever to see his kid, even though it is something you don't approve of. I can guarantee you he's not using his daughter to make you feel guilty. You also seem insecure with him staying there...what do you think is going to happen?? Are you afraid he will get back with his ex? Please explain.... It's tough to date someone with a kid, and you will always have to make these type of sacrifices for him...hopefully he appreciates your patience. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 This is a tough one. As a single mom, I would gladly let my ex stay over to spend time with his son. I know nothing would ever happen because we are not together and although harsh to say - I don't want him in that way. As the girlfriend of a single dad going to stay with his ex, I would be hesitant as you are....BUT the question is do you trust your boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Why doesn't he pay for the kid to visit him? After two years you should be meeting her. This is why people should think twice before dating anyone with small children. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Why doesn't he fly her out to see him instead? If he pays extra they will assign her a flight attendant to escort her to her seat and whatnot. Assuming she's not like 4 yrs old. I had a cousin who was doing this at like age 8. I would not be happy with this situation at all but there's nothing you can do about it really unless you will pay for his hotel. Link to post Share on other sites
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