Graduated, mid 20's with career; can I still date college girls?

[Cytochrome c]

So I graduated this summer and was lucky enough to quickly find a career. I'm not wildly successful, but I make enough to be financially support myself and be independent with some expendable income.

 

I always thought graduating and finding a career would put me in a league above broke college guys and up my dating prospects, but honestly, I've been really hard-pressed to meet and date girls since I graduated; I was actually dating and hooking up more as a broke college guy. I guess it's because I'm not on campus anymore; I'm not physically in a location or position to meet college girls.

 

It's not that I have anything against dating graduated, independent girls. It's just that it's so much harder to meet them, and if I do, I have to compete with other graduated, independent guys. I'm nothing special or exemplary in comparison.

 

How easy is it for guys in their mid 20's with careers to date younger girls in college? How do graduated, independent guys fare in the competition with younger college guys? Is there a high demand amongst college-aged girls for slightly older guys with careers?

[Mrlonelyone]

Yes you can still date college age girls. There's no fundamental reason to rule out college age women until you are beyond graduate school age for a PhD student...say 35. The logic being that in most situations it is perfectly find for graduate students to date undergraduates, and grad students can be quite old.

 

The difficulty you may run into isn't the women who will like you but their less mature friends. Especially if they are somewhat cliquish and like to keep to their own circles. (Think something like the way people behaved in high school or middle school) They may try to make a woman choose between her older BF and them. Conversely their friends will admire them for being able to impress an older man.

[goldengirl11]

Of course you can. That was a pretty short answer wasn't it! Think you would be very attractive to some.

[Mrlonelyone]

One more thing. Some women will not be able to think outside the college bubble. What they think is important while in college changes once they graduate. Suddenly the 25 to 45 year old man with a house paid for isn't a creepy old pervert on campus but a distinguished gentleman who knows how to keep the bills paid and doesn't need someone to be his mama.

[EasyHeart]

Heck yeah! When I was 27 I took a night class for fun and met a really nice "college" girl who turned out to be a senior in high school! We dated for a few months. No big deal.

 

But I agree that pursuing college girls can be problematic once you're out of school. They have different interests/priorites/views of the world. Plus, you're competing with all the college boys who have mommy and daddy's money and don't have to work for it. Young women generally aren't impressed with how hard you work.

[Cytochrome c]

Of course you can. That was a pretty short answer wasn't it! Think you would be very attractive to some.

 

Perhaps, but there's the issue of the "logistics" of actually meeting them (where to meet them, when, how to introduce yourself to them, overcoming potentially-catty friends, etc.)

 

Hypothetically, how would a 25 year old guy fare if he were to leave the office in business attire and go to a grungy college bar on "Thirsty Thursday?" How would this guy compare to the drunk, sloppily dressed frat boys?

[LazyPomato]

You can...as long as you aren't one of those creepy 29 year olds at college keg parties every weekend.

[Cytochrome c]

you're competing with all the college boys who have mommy and daddy's money and don't have to work for it.

 

Those guys are few and far between. I feel like the playing field for college-aged guys is relatively level in terms of what they can offer girls in terms life experience, wisdom/knowledge, nights out, good times, etc; it's easy to stand above. However, once you're out of college, you're competing with other guys who're also independent and have careers, many of which are older and more successful for you.

[Cytochrome c]

But I agree that pursuing college girls can be problematic once you're out of school. They have different interests/priorites/views of the world.

 

This also is true. The realities of post-college life (finding a career, advancing my career, managing my finances, paying the bills and so on) FLOORED me, and radically changed interests and priorities. How do you relate to girls who haven't reached that stage yet?

[EasyHeart]

This also is true. The realities of post-college life (finding a career, advancing my career, managing my finances, paying the bills and so on) FLOORED me, and radically changed interests and priorities. How do you relate to girls who haven't reached that stage yet?

You don't. That's the problem.

 

Welcome to the Real World!!! (It gets better).

[TheZebra]

Are you looking to hook up or for a relationship? If you're only looking to hook up then yeah, it's fine and you'll be fine. If you're looking for a relationship though, you're going to have problems. Having a boyfriend with a career might be cool when they're showing you off to their friends, but then what? They'll be talking about how terrible it is to wake up for their 45 minute 8am class that only happens 3 times a week,. If they're the party kind that you're going for, they'll be starting their weekend off on Thusday nights and go until 3am on Friday, while you have to be at work at 8am the next day. Even if you're only a few years apart, in terms of life experience you may as well be worlds apart.

 

Just because you perceive the competition to be less doesn't make it an enticing target.

[Mrlonelyone]

^^That.

 

College girls who are big partiers are generally not who you need to look for.

 

However there is a spectrum of men and women in college.

 

Some will be so immature it's like they are emotionally retarded, others will have the EQ of a typical 30 or 40 year old. The girls who will provide you with a good long term relationship are the ones who are annoyed at how emotionally immature the men that are available to them are.

 

Don't worry so much about the age gap. Plenty of relationships with a big age gap of 10 +/- 5 years have lasted for decades and decades. If it works out as time passes the age gap becomes less of an issue.

[Cytochrome c]

Are you looking to hook up or for a relationship?

 

Something in between. In all honesty, I wouldn't turn down a hook up if the opportunity presented itself. I'm more into casual, short term (few months) dating.

[TheZebra]

The girls who will provide you with a good long term relationship are the ones who are annoyed at how emotionally immature the men that are available to them are.

 

And those girls probably won't be at the bar on Thursday night as the OP is planning

[Mrlonelyone]

And those girls probably won't be at the bar on Thursday night as the OP is planning

 

Maybe maybe not. They'll still hang out to fit in. Yet they may not be willing to stand out in the way they would if they are the one with the much older BF.

 

His issue will be finding a young woman who is mature. Who doesn't mind standing out in the crowd a bit. Someone who can say "he makes me happy and takes care of my sexual and emotional needs... even as catty "friends" make digs."

[Cytochrome c]

^^That.

 

College girls who are big partiers are generally not who you need to look for.

 

However there is a spectrum of men and women in college.

 

Some will be so immature it's like they are emotionally retarded, others will have the EQ of a typical 30 or 40 year old. The girls who will provide you with a good long term relationship are the ones who are annoyed at how emotionally immature the men that are available to them are.

 

Don't worry so much about the age gap. Plenty of relationships with a big age gap of 10 +/- 5 years have lasted for decades and decades. If it works out as time passes the age gap becomes less of an issue.

 

I'm not so much worried about crossing the age gap as I am about the "experience gap" or "maturity gap." I'm not opposed to meeting "immature party girls" if they're fun and attractive enough.

 

My question is, can we see eye to eye? Is there anything in my world (the world of being a self-supporting professional young adult) that's attractive to girls who're into sorority parties and club night and Katie Perry concerts and such?

[kaylan]

OP,

 

A lot of older guys like to think they have an upper hand on younger guys when it comes to younger women, but thats not the case. Some of them may think they are more "refined", "mature", "independent", or think that having money may help them...but it really doesnt do much.

 

Given the period of life most college girls are in, they definitely do want younger college guys first and foremost from what I saw in school. They appreciate a guy they can relate too, and dont care if hes broke. If they like him, they like him, and they understand why hes broke...because the girl is broke herself usually.

 

These girls also want a guy on their level, and many more times than not, a guy out of college will be at a different life stage than her and she will usually be reminded of how immature she is.

 

This is all generally speaking though. Their are some older upperclassman girls who are quite mature and see their peers the way most older out of college people view her peers.

 

I gotta ask though...if you have trouble meeting women in general, and have the means to go out and meet women your age who are mature, independent and on your level....why are you trying to solely target immature, no life experience, college girls? Im 26 and graduated last year right before I turned 25, and I wouldnt date a girl younger than 22...and if shes in college...she has been be at least on my maturity level.

 

Not that Im super mature or anything....as I do like my parties and bar fun after working hard at my new job. But a girl in college with her own place and who likes to go out every now and again, is totally different from a college girl who dorms and parties every weekend, all weekend. If you must date a girl in college...go after someone over 21, whos mature, lives off campus, and isnt a constant partier.

I'm not so much worried about crossing the age gap as I am about the "experience gap" or "maturity gap." I'm not opposed to meeting "immature party girls" if they're fun and attractive enough.

 

My question is, can we see eye to eye? Is there anything in my world (the world of being a self-supporting professional young adult) that's attractive to girls who're into sorority parties and club night and Katie Perry concerts and such?

Not at all. Sorority party girls care about fun and fun only. A professional 40 hr work week would be boring to them...and they wouldnt be able to relate to that or the fact that you might be too tired to do the things they like to do a lot. And if you ever deem their behavior immature, they have plenty of young immature boys willing to party with them.

 

If you absolutely must date college girls, stay away from party girls and date independent upperclassman or graduate students.

Edited December 30, 2012 by kaylan

[CptSaveAho]

As long as you have no baggage.... divorce...kids...etc

 

You can date college girls well into your 40s

 

It's fun if you want to fine tune your dating skills and they are great practice

 

Don't take it seriously, have fun, dont overanalyze/rationalize and you will be very successful

[Mrlonelyone]

What capt. Sav a ho. and Kaylan said.

 

The average college girl will not want you. For a number of reasons. Remember what you were like at that age? Remember what most people were like at that age. Not unlike many teens they wanted to fit in, hang out and have fun.

 

Having an older BF would make these girls stand out and be objects of rumors, and jealous catty ridicule (unless you marry her or get engaged to her thus giving her a nice ring to show off.)

 

That is why you need to aim for more mature college women. Women who are 21+ (or at least close to turning 21).

 

Once you can taker to a fine restaurant and order a bottle of wine and consume it in style the idea of going to a kegger looks stupid. Once you can taker on a tour of the nappa valley and taste the finest of the fine, getting drunk at a house party seems petty.

 

You are looking for a college woman who is above average in certain ways.

Edited December 30, 2012 by Mrlonelyone

[Cytochrome c]

 

That is why you need to aim for more mature college women. Women who are 21+ (or at least close to turning 21).

 

Perhaps, but there's the whole issue of WHERE to meet them and HOW to break the ice.

[sydneysider1978]

I don't see there is anything wrong in you dating an older college girl.

 

However, I don't think having a job will give you any advantage over other men.

 

Girls that age aren't looking for a "provider" they are studying and having fun.

When I was at college there were many great, intelligent men with huge potential. I would have gone for one of those rather than a regular guy with a decent job.

[Cytochrome c]

I don't see there is anything wrong in you dating an older college girl.

 

However, I don't think having a job will give you any advantage over other men.

 

Girls that age aren't looking for a "provider" they are studying and having fun.

When I was at college there were many great, intelligent men with huge potential. I would have gone for one of those rather than a regular guy with a decent job.

 

Perhaps. What about for the casual hookup scenario?

 

Assume a girl is out at a college bar with her friends and is atleast mildly open to the possibility of meeting and hooking up with a guy. Who's more attractive in that scenario?

 

The guy who can take her to the grungy kegger and then take her to his messy dorm room?

 

Or the guy who personally knows the owner of an upscale venue the next town over and then take her to an actual apartment?

[tommykoo]

Hi! In my opinion, I would say go ahead and find your match. However, you must be able to arrange your time for your career and your date mate. Why do i say this? Simple. There are times where your partner might get fed up with you just because you are too busy to keep your job. So, my suggestion is that you can date with someone but always bear in mind to arrange your time. Hope this help.