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Do you find it easier to just want sex from a woman instead of dating/relationship?


joystickd

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I know for me I prefer to just have sex with women and keep it at that. I will say at some point I would like to do the relationship love thing but it's a struggle to get myself to that point. The main reason is that just going after sex is less stress for me. I had started late with women. My biggest struggle now is the whole feelings thing. I start liking someone and the whole process seems to drag out. They have to figure out their feelings and all other sh*t. It just bothers me because its not like a logical process. I like someone now and she has to figure out what she wants from me. She got hurt by guys that I look way better than. I'm want to say so bad WTF! you give me a hard time because sh*t on a stick did you dirty. The crazy thing is I know for a fact that if I had the end goal of just sex and had no feelings for her that I could see this logical progression from initial meeting to me getting her naked. I mean right now I know a female very attractive and I know for a fact she wants to have sex with me and it's because I don't and have made it known that I like her. I don't understand why when I actually make it known I like or want someone I get knee deep in the BS and feel like my time is wasted as compared to when I just do nothing I meet women that are so attracted to me and willing to have sex.

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todreaminblue

:mad:

I know for me I prefer to just have sex with women and keep it at that. I will say at some point I would like to do the relationship love thing but it's a struggle to get myself to that point. The main reason is that just going after sex is less stress for me. I had started late with women. My biggest struggle now is the whole feelings thing. I start liking someone and the whole process seems to drag out. They have to figure out their feelings and all other sh*t. It just bothers me because its not like a logical process. I like someone now and she has to figure out what she wants from me. She got hurt by guys that I look way better than. I'm want to say so bad WTF! you give me a hard time because sh*t on a stick did you dirty. The crazy thing is I know for a fact that if I had the end goal of just sex and had no feelings for her that I could see this logical progression from initial meeting to me getting her naked. I mean right now I know a female very attractive and I know for a fact she wants to have sex with me and it's because I don't and have made it known that I like her. I don't understand why when I actually make it known I like or want someone I get knee deep in the BS and feel like my time is wasted as compared to when I just do nothing I meet women that are so attracted to me and willing to have sex.

 

 

so do you like this girl or not? your post is unclear is this a rant or a questioning post.....deb

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:mad:

 

 

so do you like this girl or not? your post is unclear is this a rant or a questioning post.....deb

I'm just frustrated to the highest degree. I like her and thats the problem

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OP , be thankful they were at least honest and not using you. Spared yourself a good bit of heartache.

 

I don't blame it when someone has been hurt before and is careful now -- but that doesn't mean not opening up at some point (by the 6-month threshold they should have). Plus, it depends on how soon after their bad experience they met you. IMO , anything beyond a year after their break-up is them coming up with excuses.

 

I say 6 months, but that might be too long anyway. I mean, they should know fairly soon whether or not they're interested in pursuing a LTR with you. 6 months is the latest. Sometimes they will play games all that time, and then tell you they're not into you, though, so I'd be careful with that. My ex (a guy) did this to me.

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OP , be thankful they were at least honest and not using you. Spared yourself a good bit of heartache.

 

I don't blame it when someone has been hurt before and is careful now -- but that doesn't mean not opening up at some point (by the 6-month threshold they should have). Plus, it depends on how soon after their bad experience they met you. IMO , anything beyond a year after their break-up is them coming up with excuses.

 

I say 6 months, but that might be too long anyway. I mean, they should know fairly soon whether or not they're interested in pursuing a LTR with you. 6 months is the latest. Sometimes they will play games all that time, and then tell you they're not into you, though, so I'd be careful with that. My ex (a guy) did this to me.

I'm still learning I guess but I still get BS even when they haven't just got out of a relationship once they know how I feel about them. It's like "Hey he said he like me so let's give him a hard time". Then when I don't reveal how I feel to a woman things go so much smoother. I get to know how they feel no BS and sex. Then I get the whole I want to know you speech. It's like WTF

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I'm still learning I guess but I still get BS even when they haven't just got out of a relationship once they know how I feel about them. It's like "Hey he said he like me so let's give him a hard time". Then when I don't reveal how I feel to a woman things go so much smoother. I get to know how they feel no BS and sex. Then I get the whole I want to know you speech. It's like WTF

Maybe you should stop telling them you like them. Show, not tell. Telling may come across as kinda more feminine for some women, I guess -- especially at the initial "chasing" stages. Or maybe you're going too fast. How soon are you saying that you like them?

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Maybe you should stop telling them you like them. Show, not tell. Telling may come across as kinda more feminine for some women, I guess -- especially at the initial "chasing" stages. Or maybe you're going too fast. How soon are you saying that you like them?

I even show. This most recent one she knew months after we knew each other. I'm like f**k it now. I'm on the verge just meeting women and doing the pump and dump. It seems to be the situation that gets me less BS.

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The funny thing is she told a mutual friend that she likes me. i don't get it. I can't even sleep right now I'm so frustrated.

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Ruby Slippers

I think love challenges us to rise to our greatness. It's frustrating to be called upon to be the best man or woman you can be - but it's also quite a blessing. Feelings are normal and necessary. Don't fear them. Feel them and channel them to positive ends.

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I think love challenges us to rise to our greatness. It's frustrating to be called upon to be the best man or woman you can be - but it's also quite a blessing. Feelings are normal and necessary. Don't fear them. Feel them and channel them to positive ends.

Sometimes I wonder if the challenges are more of an ego stroke than calling someone to be the best man they can be. She knows how good of a person I am and that is well established so why the challenge. Oh my! I'm too frustrated to rationally respond to anyone right now. Damn emotions clouding me. Damn you emotions

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I'm one if I like you there is no BS I'm honest about and in general not about BS or games. It just seems so hard to get the same in return. :(

Why does it have to be so damn hard? Why does it get complicated for me once I like someone? I don't understand that. Why is it so much easier for me when I just want sex?

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I'm one if I like you there is no BS I'm honest about and in general not about BS or games. It just seems so hard to get the same in return. :(

Why does it have to be so damn hard? Why does it get complicated for me once I like someone? I don't understand that. Why is it so much easier for me when I just want sex?

 

Because the things that are most valuable in life take effort and patience.

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When I got back into the dating game I felt the EXACT same way you're feeling; and I'm a woman. If I like someone I tend to be pretty upfront about it, but some guys just like to beat around the bush (though not mine :laugh:). Just don't get frustrated to the point where you're playing games with women. If you're going for just sex, make sure she knows that that's your intention.

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RULE #1

 

Dont under any circumstance, tell a girl you like her, no matter what she says or any girl on these forum says

 

This should be stamped on every single guys hand so they quit screwing it up. Girls love the challenge of catching a guy, let them catch you, dont throw yourself in the boat and make it easy for them. They will get bored, throw you back in the sea and look for another fish

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Ruby Slippers
Because the things that are most valuable in life take effort and patience.

Exactly. Easy sex is easy. It's about satisfying your base animal desires. Nothing wrong with that, but if that's all you want to do with your time, you're basically going to stay at that animal level.

 

It's when the heart is aroused that our real humanity comes out.

 

Just keep being honest and no BS. Those are major virtues that won't fail you. There's a lot of chaos and confusion in the world. People have their issues. Try to be patient with them. Sometimes a little reassurance is all a girl needs from her man.

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Why does it get complicated for me once I like someone?

 

Because you care and that makes you vulnerable.

Fear of being hurt, emotionally, changes things and complicates relationships.

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todreaminblue
I'm still learning I guess but I still get BS even when they haven't just got out of a relationship once they know how I feel about them. It's like "Hey he said he like me so let's give him a hard time". Then when I don't reveal how I feel to a woman things go so much smoother. I get to know how they feel no BS and sex. Then I get the whole I want to know you speech. It's like WTF

 

so women in the past have told you that they aren't sure about a relationship with you...no all women are like this ......doesn't mean the woman you like now will be like this.....women who hang on the ltr thing could have just gotten out fo a relationship sure.....but as far as that goes i rebounded my last relationship and it lasted fifteen years and i was not the one to pull the plug....some women can rebound....when i have strong feelings fro soemone i let them know....others women feel the same way as me i am not unique in this respect.......i am not into games......if a guy i am attracted to me tells me that he likes me i would be cool lets see where we go.......if i didnt like them i wouldnt have led them to believe that in the first place......i am mor eintense in a relationship than probably the guy would be...not all women play games is the moral of my story...there are gmaeplayers though from both sides fo the fence...they truly suck...

 

one question i would like answered..i am trying to help you in my obscure way so if you answer i might be able to help......how does it go much smoother when you dont tell or reveal to someone you like them, or feel strongly for them, or what you really feel, or what you would like to have happen...it never eventuates into anything, you never know what might have been or could be or should be......so how is that smooth for you or for the woman in question?...its a case of does he or doesnt he?..and in retrospect your frustration is from not knowing what would happen,your frustration is not from what will happen, because that remains to be seen doesnt it?..you cant predict what you dont have a clue on......deb

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RULE #1

 

Dont under any circumstance, tell a girl you like her, no matter what she says or any girl on these forum says

 

This should be stamped on every single guys hand so they quit screwing it up. Girls love the challenge of catching a guy, let them catch you, dont throw yourself in the boat and make it easy for them. They will get bored, throw you back in the sea and look for another fish

 

I don't think I ever landed a girl if I was the one to come out and say I liked her first. All that stuff about feelings, stuff like "I like you as more than just a friend", "what do you consider us?", etc etc should be coming from women.

 

They make the first move in that department. If you come out and announce your feelings before the chick, more often than not, you're finished.

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so women in the past have told you that they aren't sure about a relationship with you...no all women are like this ......doesn't mean the woman you like now will be like this.....women who hang on the ltr thing could have just gotten out fo a relationship sure.....but as far as that goes i rebounded my last relationship and it lasted fifteen years and i was not the one to pull the plug....some women can rebound....when i have strong feelings fro soemone i let them know....others women feel the same way as me i am not unique in this respect.......i am not into games......if a guy i am attracted to me tells me that he likes me i would be cool lets see where we go.......if i didnt like them i wouldnt have led them to believe that in the first place......i am mor eintense in a relationship than probably the guy would be...not all women play games is the moral of my story...there are gmaeplayers though from both sides fo the fence...they truly suck...

 

one question i would like answered..i am trying to help you in my obscure way so if you answer i might be able to help......how does it go much smoother when you dont tell or reveal to someone you like them, or feel strongly for them, or what you really feel, or what you would like to have happen...it never eventuates into anything, you never know what might have been or could be or should be......so how is that smooth for you or for the woman in question?...its a case of does he or doesnt he?..and in retrospect your frustration is from not knowing what would happen,your frustration is not from what will happen, because that remains to be seen doesnt it?..you cant predict what you dont have a clue on......deb

Smoother meaning I'm not like I am now all frustrated. It seems like when I let them know then they have all the power so they give me the BS. The progression from meeting to when they show how they feel takes longer or drags out to what seems like forever. I'm not worried, overthinking and vulnerable.

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It's better to know for sure what you want. If you only wanted sex, there'd be no frustration or anger or confusion. You'd just go for what you want and be a happy man. The fact that you want a relationship and fall in love easily is messing you up. Maybe you should make up your mind who you are and what you want, permanently.

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I don't think I ever landed a girl if I was the one to come out and say I liked her first. All that stuff about feelings, stuff like "I like you as more than just a friend", "what do you consider us?", etc etc should be coming from women.

 

They make the first move in that department. If you come out and announce your feelings before the chick, more often than not, you're finished.

 

I will never do the above because it has never worked for me. I always wait for the guy to initiate any discussion of where a relationship is going and the ones who really like me and want a relationship want to open up this discussion. It's better to let the guy initiate this conversation so that he feels in control of the situation rather than feeling like the woman is trying to pressure him.

 

You don't want a relationship, so maybe your style works for casual sex, but when a secure man is interested in more, he's not afraid to vocalize it, and mature women will respond positively to it.

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Because the things that are most valuable in life take effort and patience.

 

Just curious, do you really believe this? Not trying to instigate here, just want to know if you believe this TRULY?!

 

If things work out, then people can justify such sayings/idioms, but this line seems to always get me wondering. :)

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It's better to know for sure what you want. If you only wanted sex, there'd be no frustration or anger or confusion. You'd just go for what you want and be a happy man. The fact that you want a relationship and fall in love easily is messing you up. Maybe you should make up your mind who you are and what you want, permanently.

 

I know what i want. Im just frustrated because women can be confusing. Im straightforward and i have to deal with confusion on the other end. Why cant they be straight forward

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TouchedByViolet

Well sex is easier because it is simpler than a relationship but it is not always fulfilling. I know I want a relationship but sometimes none is available so if casual sex becomes an opportunity I have taken it.

 

Dating someone to find out if you are both compatible enough to become an item can take a month and during that period lots can happen. People feelings and desires may change. Ultimately it comes down to do both people feel the same way. If yes, then thats great, but if not someone usually feels upset and wonders what they could have done differently. Just sex arrangements are a lot more straightforward and nothing is really expected.

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