edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 How do you guys deal when you're sick of going on dates but at the same time you can't really imagine disabling your profile for a while because you're dying to meet someone? There have been a few times where I was okay with going offline for a few weeks or months to gather the energy again. But I'm feeling particularly lonely these days and with no family around the holidays this year, I think I'll be pretty miserable if I completely cut the possibility of going on some dates. But at the same time I just don't feel like dating. Ha. I know it sounds confusing. Also, I feel burnout because of a potential relationship that was promising but seems to have died these days. It's feeling almost like a breakup. I am so sick of going on dates yet I am craving meeting someone fun "/ What can I doooo? SOS. Note: Meeting people offline is not really an option for me. Link to post Share on other sites
c57dood Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Volunteer somewhere. There always looking for folks, and you can meet some pretty cool people there. Unfortunately, you're probably going to have to go out to meet some kewl peeps. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Why isn't meeting men offline an option for you? Do you have any friend around your age you can go out with? Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Feel the same. I want someone but it is frusterating looking for someone. I seem to just stop OLD for a few weeks then go back. Link to post Share on other sites
sharsh Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I feel the same way. It's an odd feeling lol. I want to date, but I don't have the energy to put in the effort... but still I WANT to date!!! AHHH. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yes volunteering is a great idea I should look into it. Also meetups. It sounds lazy of me, but these things take up so much energy... I should do them though, it's the only way I can try and meet offline people I guess. I do go out with friends a little, but I don't want to meet people at bars (done that my whole life, doesn't work for LTR) and it's not like my friends have introduced me to anyone in the last 5 years. Not sure they'll start now, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Exactly! Someone should do a date-delivery service. Like, you pick, pay by CC and if you don't like what you get, you can return haha. Oh wait. It's called okcupid. lol. kind of. I feel the same way. It's an odd feeling lol. I want to date, but I don't have the energy to put in the effort... but still I WANT to date!!! AHHH. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I know the burned out feeling. It's especially bad when you meet someone you like but the feeling isn't mutual. Holidays can be super lonely. Try to keep yourself busy with things you like to do. On a positive note, you are lucky you can get dates. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I know the burned out feeling. It's especially bad when you meet someone you like but the feeling isn't mutual. Holidays can be super lonely. Try to keep yourself busy with things you like to do. On a positive note, you are lucky you can get dates. It's ok, but I don't see the brightside with dates if they aren't good ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah maybe I should just try to get busy with things that are interesting for me and unrelated to dating. And then the desire to date and the possibility of getting excited about someone (zero now) will come back. *Sigh* This is going to be a depressing holiday. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah maybe I should just try to get busy with things that are interesting for me and unrelated to dating. And then the desire to date and the possibility of getting excited about someone (zero now) will come back. *Sigh* This is going to be a depressing holiday. We are here for you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 aww you're the sweetest thanks. We are here for you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Anyway suladas is right, it doesn't help being able to get dates if you leave them kind of disappointed most of the time and feeling that you are far from finding someone compatible every time. One thing I will say though. Because of you guys on LS I went on a date yesterday with a complete different mentality, where sex was a zero possibility on my end, and I enjoyed my self-given power a lot. It's great to not have the ambiguity of possible sex on the first dates on the way. Now that I reprogrammed my mind there's a possibility that I will enjoy dating more than before, by getting to know them over a few dates with no sex involved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I know the feeling. All you can do is keep your chin up. When you are out doing things like volunterring or meetups, that are about things you genuinely like, you may just meet someone. The key is, to give the less than ideal people you meet in real life a chance if they are willing to give you a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 (edited) True, LonelyOne, thanks. We should keep that in mind re: less than ideal people. Edited December 21, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 aww you're the sweetest thanks. It's tough out there. People on LS are so much better then OLD to Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah we should all have an offline end of the world party tonight, lol It's tough out there. People on LS are so much better then OLD to 1 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Anyway suladas is right, it doesn't help being able to get dates if you leave them kind of disappointed most of the time and feeling that you are far from finding someone compatible every time. One thing I will say though. Because of you guys on LS I went on a date yesterday with a complete different mentality, where sex was a zero possibility on my end, and I enjoyed my self-given power a lot. It's great to not have the ambiguity of possible sex on the first dates on the way. Now that I reprogrammed my mind there's a possibility that I will enjoy dating more than before, by getting to know them over a few dates with no sex involved. Actually never went into a first date thinking of sex, never would try for it or think it would happen. Just go hoping to have fun, but seems to always be boring and nothing there. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah we should all have an offline end of the world party tonight, lol Yes we should. And the dating problems won't matter anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 I mean, it's not that I usually went on dates specifically thinking about having sex. But I was so picky about who I dated that when I did, I used to think the chemistry and checked boxes was 80% there as someone posted here. Skewed way of thinking but this forum helped me correct it in just a week. Feels liberating. Actually never went into a first date thinking of sex, never would try for it or think it would happen. Just go hoping to have fun, but seems to always be boring and nothing there. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 Well, Edgygirl, you must not be very lonely if you won't get out and go to meetups. Most men don't have ESP, so don't expect them to pick up your vibes and dowse their way to your front door. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 21, 2012 Author Share Posted December 21, 2012 You're right, El Brujo. Perhaps it was a bit foolish to have resorted to OLD only in the past few years. But honestly that's what most people my age (and who work too much) do in the huge city I live in - as it's hard to meet suitable people offline. Most my girlfriends are fun, successful and attractive and have the same issue. Not sure what ESP means but I can imagine, lol. I see you're in LA, is it any different there? How do you meet suitable people offline? Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 21, 2012 Author Share Posted December 21, 2012 Man... I am looking at my dating site and I feel like crying. Profile after profile and no ones interests me anymore. Do we get desensitized when we're burned out? =( Link to post Share on other sites
Under The Radar Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 Man... I am looking at my dating site and I feel like crying. Profile after profile and no ones interests me anymore. Do we get desensitized when we're burned out? =( Yes, we do. Like some others have suggested it might help you to take a break from OLD for a while. I know a girl who could have written many of your posts in this thread. She didn't use OLD for over a year which left her re-energized and optimistic to commence meeting people again. She was married earlier this month to a wonderful man she met online (They live in a big U.S. city like you do). Dating takes time, energy, and PATIENCE. The harder you try and force a match or meet men because "time is running out" the less likely you are to make a meaningful connection with a great guy. You are well aware that with the holidays approaching emotions run higher. Being single can be difficult this time of the year, but shift your focus to other valuable things going on in your life. Your recent efforts to "hold off" on early sex in a relationship, IMO, will only help you find a worthy man. It's completely unnecessary to exchange intercourse for companionship if the attraction is mutual beyond lust. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 21, 2012 Author Share Posted December 21, 2012 Thank you Under.The.Radar. Really precious words for me now. This was more useful for me than going to therapy Link to post Share on other sites
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