Hobby or lifestyle/lifestyle or hobby?

[irc333]

I think there are SPECIFIC hobbies that are more lifestyle related than "Just" a hobby.

 

For instance, horses. Don't get me wrong, I've ridden horses before, and it's great.

 

I saw this woman, age 44, single, never married, no kids, Catholic, has a very brief profile and at the end says, "Looking for someone who is into thoroughbed horse racing like I am."

 

Her profession is horse training.

 

Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but how uncommon a hobby is that?

 

That's like saying, "He must enjoy skydiving as much as I do, or it just won't work"

 

I also notice motorcycle riding is a "must"for some...or since I don't live, breathe, and live amongst thorobred horseracing, how can it be a dealbreaker?

[HeldbyGravity]

I see what you mean. For some people, a hobby of theirs is their life. And it may be best that they find someone who, as specific as this sounds, is into exactly the same thing.

 

Riding a motorcycle I can see as a lifestyle, maybe just because where I live, we have a lot of clubs and such for bikers.

[irc333]

I see what you mean. For some people, a hobby of theirs is their life. And it may be best that they find someone who, as specific as this sounds, is into exactly the same thing.

 

Riding a motorcycle I can see as a lifestyle, maybe just because where I live, we have a lot of clubs and such for bikers.

 

Would some consider it an unhealthy obessesion?

[maybealone]

I think there are SPECIFIC hobbies that are more lifestyle related than "Just" a hobby.

 

I agree. For me, golf is a lifestyle. I really can't picture dating someone that doesn't golf, because then there would be huge chunks of time we would have to spend apart. I know some men look at golf as a way to get away with their friends so I wouldn't expect him to golf with me all the time, but if he never golfed with me that could be a problem.

 

That's probably similar to motorcycling for others. If a guy likes to spend huge chunks of the weekend biking, then he probably isn't interested in a woman that doesn't want to go anywhere on a bike.

 

Hobbies for me are more like hiking and camping. I like those things, but if a guy didn't do either it would not be a dealbreaker.

[irc333]

I agree. For me, golf is a lifestyle. I really can't picture dating someone that doesn't golf, because then there would be huge chunks of time we would have to spend apart.

 

Right, I've tried golfing, I never had much of a "Yawner" sport in my life, yes...WAY to much chunks of time. Golfing is an all day affair, not a couple of hours shootin' hoops.

 

But I believe one could still date someone if the other party doesn't care for it.

[HeldbyGravity]

Unhealthy, not necessarily. As long as she still is able to have friends, to see family, to do things Other than riding, it is not unhealthy. If she literally eats, sleeps and dreams riding, then it would be unhealthy.

[irc333]

Unhealthy, not necessarily. As long as she still is able to have friends, to see family, to do things Other than riding, it is not unhealthy. If she literally eats, sleeps and dreams riding, then it would be unhealthy.

 

Yeah, but if she considers "He must do thoroghbred horse racing", don't you even think that's unrealistic?

[todreaminblue]

I think there are SPECIFIC hobbies that are more lifestyle related than "Just" a hobby.

 

For instance, horses. Don't get me wrong, I've ridden horses before, and it's great.

 

I saw this woman, age 44, single, never married, no kids, Catholic, has a very brief profile and at the end says, "Looking for someone who is into thoroughbed horse racing like I am."

 

Her profession is horse training.

 

Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but how uncommon a hobby is that?

 

That's like saying, "He must enjoy skydiving as much as I do, or it just won't work"

 

I also notice motorcycle riding is a "must"for some...or since I don't live, breathe, and live amongst thorobred horseracing, how can it be a dealbreaker?

 

 

 

I think hobbies are a personal pursuit and exist outside of anyone else having to be a part of it so in a relationship it should have the same value i think its good to have separate hobbies in a relationship...lifestyle choices though can clash.....thats where compromise comes in.....different is good as long as it isnt like a nudist militant with a quaker different.....could end up a tad uncomfortable for both parties.....deb

[yongyong]

When you stop doing 'I saw this woman', you will eventually meet a female.

[carhill]

Being an observer is a lifestyle; being a birdwatcher is a hobby.

[KathyM]

People who have a strong passion for something want someone whom they can share that passion with them. And if they spend a lot of time on it, they want someone who is also committed to that activity. It's pretty normal to want someone who is a match in that respect. It's probably not going to be easy for her to find someone who has horse racing as their passion, but she doesn't need to match up with several people. All it takes is one, and there are many people viewing her profile. It's good that she's putting this out there and knows it's important to find someone who also has that as a passion.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Some people who have a demanding / consuming hobby or lifestyle have already experienced how it interfered in a relationship with someone who did not share it.

[El Brujo]

Woodworking would be just a hobby for me, except that I use it for DIY around the house... fixing a door, making a table and some chairs for me & my guests to use, etc etc... so yeah, it's also a lifestyle, because I'd go broke if I had to hire guys to do my repairs or buy furniture from a catalog.

[Imajerk17]

FYI: irc333 keeps writing these kinds of threads on here, again and again and again, not because he is concerned for the dateless women out there, but because

 

(a) he finds the walls women put up towards him to be "unfair" and so he tries to reframe it as them being unreasonable, and

 

(b) he's looking for yet another excuse as for why he isn't dating himself.

 

 

It's victim thinking on his part really either way. C'est la vie.

Edited November 23, 2012 by Imajerk17

[Emilia]

FYI: irc333 keeps writing these kinds of threads on here, again and again and again, not because he is concerned for the dateless women out there, but because

 

(a) he finds the walls women put up towards him to be "unfair" and so he tries to reframe it as them being unreasonable, and

 

(b) he's looking for yet another excuse as for why he isn't dating himself.

 

 

It's victim thinking on his part really either way. C'est la vie.

 

He posts about calling women and talking to them in person too. I find his threads interesting even if I don't always agree with him. It's just lots of observation, harmless

[FitChick]

I avoid men who own a boat or like sailing. Horses can be hit or miss. If they are polo players, I like watching polo and generally those guys have someone taking care of their horses. However, having had friends over the years who have owned horses, I know they can be as expensive and time consuming as having kids. I try to avoid men with kids as well!

[maybealone]

Today I randomly met a guy who takes care of racing horses for a living.

 

So I guess her stipulation might not be completely unreasonable.

[irc333]

I avoid men who own a boat or like sailing.

 

Really, this it's usually a "chick magnet" lol to at least be a boat owner....summer time rolls around, go out in your boat, go out with friends out on a boat, mix it up with men and women, get out the wake board, have a blast.

 

I find it rather odd with you being a "fit" chick...could you elaborate further why you would avoid a boat owner?

[irc333]

Today I randomly met a guy who takes care of racing horses for a living.

 

So I guess her stipulation might not be completely unreasonable.

 

Right, there's an area where I live that has a lot of horse farms, they raise them and train them for racing.

 

THere's even a section of horse lovers that thinks those places are an abomination, they have a disbelief that horses shouldn't be trained nor raised for people's amusement.

 

At anyrate, I met this one woman, she was a "racer" of horses, conditioned them for racing, and apparently you have to be "on call" if a horse gives birth or some other situation should arise. And during some kind of "horse season", if a job requires it, you have to work late at night on Saturday and Friday nights consistently.

 

She has no kids, never married....but pretty much married to her job.

 

I'm not sure if the woman I posted about was THIS kind of profession where she just works 8 hrs, but....she even takes her work home with her.

 

Kind of like when an IT guy gets home, they can't stand to look at another computer, but the opposite it true for horse lovers.

 

I recall chatting with a woman, had her own farm, horses, etc....she didn't think we'd make a good match, because her last boyfriend wouldn't help her out around the farm. LOL (No they didn't live together, he just dated her). He'd let her feed the horses and maintain them, while he slept in on a Sunday morning.

[Mme. Chaucer]

So, OP - if you ever really get around to dating in real life, will you seek a woman who shares your lifestyle / hobby of critiquing the OLD profiles of random strangers and posting about them on the Internet?

[EasyHeart]

People can have whatever preferences they want, but if you have very specific requirements like "must be a horse trainer" or "must be a motorcyclist", then you're naturally limiting your dating pool. It seems to me that if you want to meet a motorcyclist, you should join a motorcycling club; if you want to meet a guy who owns a boat, join the yacht club.

 

I don't have any real 'hobbies', though I have lots of things I like to do. I don't expect my GF to necessarily share them, I just need her to tolerate them.

[grkBoy]

In the end, it's her interests, hobbies, and lifestyle.

 

I also think many men and women who talk about these things are wording them badly.

 

So the thoroughbred rider might make it sound like she wants a man who will ride fast horses on the track, but she might at least be open to the guy who likes to go horseback riding on his own accord.

 

That means that he would go horseback riding even when there is no chance or hope of a date or meeting a girl. If he's only going riding to please her or to meet women, then she will spot this and reject.

 

Men and women can spot "chameleons". This would be like the female lush who hangs out in the clubs every week, but suddenly is out buying cowgirl boots and a hat because she met some hunk who is into Country Music. Plus she suddenly likes country...provided this guy is dating her. Although the moment he's not into her, she'll chuck the boots and hat into the closet and be back to the clubs flirting with Jersey Shore wannabes. That's a chameleon.

 

The motorcycle people are the same. They don't want the person who admires Harleys and then learns to ride a Honda to get in on that circle, but the person who can fix a motorcycle in their garage, owns a Harley, and is serious about it all.

 

 

This is again why I tell many men and women if their interests are only "guy-centric" or "girl-centric", they shouldn't expect many folks to be into them.

 

Now some guys can then claim why it seems men are more open on this than women, but the answer is too many men simply pine so much for the companionship of a woman they'll lower the bar. They believe because they are the "hunters" or they think women are in a more powerful place in dating, they can't set standards.