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Online dating profile, tell me what you think


bobsmith76

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Here is my new OLD profile, tell me what you think. A few things first, some people don't like my job, well, I'm not going to lie about it or cover it up because they will find out about it eventually. Some people also don't like the religion part but I'm not really interested in dating people that can't accept my religion. Third, some people don't like the financially responsible part and I certainly don't want to date someone who is financially irresponsible so I'm going to let that stand.

 

*****

also, please, no comments from guys. I'm not interested in listening to some guy brag about how much he thinks he understands women.

*****

 

 

 

 

Hi! Thank you for checking out my profile, I'm a poet/writer that loves books from all subjects: physics, biology, psychology, history, philosophy and of course literature. I am dedicated to living a life that cares about others, is concerned about doing the right thing and strives to make the world a better place. I love to have great conversations, laugh and explore nature. I am romantic, sensitive, passionate, funny, emotional and firmly dedicated to living with only one woman for the rest of my life and never cheating on them.

 

As for my job as a writer there's no place I'd rather work than night shift at a hotel which gives me 4 hours a night to write my books on the job and study. It's hard to build a retirement as a nigh auditor so in the future so if I don't hit it big as a writer or cannot become a professor, I might become a bioinformaticist, that's where you read the DNA and tell people what diseases they are in danger of.

 

I also have no debts and am financially responsible.

 

Now, about religion which is a very important part of my life. I believe strongly in God and I try very hard to live my life according to God's will. I do not believe in the Bible but I have no problem marrying someone who is Christian, Jewish or Muslim and I have no problem with going to Church.

 

I also have knowledge of 11 languages (including Arabic, German, Italian, French and Spanish), completed a 1000 page calculus text in 60 days, have written a book of literary fiction (a love story), volunteered in New Orleans for 4 months and spent one month participating in the International Solidarity Movement in Palestine.

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I don't know how online dating profiles are typically formatted, but it feels like you need to have some sort of closing paragraph. Like in advertising, I would think you'd want to include a "call to action" of some sort. Something like, "If you think we might get along, shoot me a message." But if that's not really done in online dating, disregard. It still feels like the ending is abrupt.

 

...and firmly dedicated to living with only one woman for the rest of my life and never cheating on them.

 

I would reword this. You shouldn't need to spell it out that you're not going to do something terrible to them. You wouldn't say, "...and I'll never hit you." Maybe change it to, "firmly dedicated to being loyal and living with only one woman for the rest of my life."

 

As for my job as a writer there's no place I'd rather work than night shift at a hotel which gives me 4 hours a night to write my books on the job and study.

 

I would also reword this, because it kind of makes you sound like an underachiever. I know you go on to clarify that you're not one, but the impression was there for a moment. And there's no place you'd rather work? None? Really? Borrrring. :p Maybe, "I very much enjoy my job as a night auditor because it's convenient for me right now, it can be interesting at times, and more importantly, I can spend most of my shift studying and working on my writing, which is my real passion."

 

Edit: But overall, it seems like a profile I would maybe respond to.

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being honest counts for something but I could not help laughing reading through some parts.

 

your profile says you havent dated much and youre trying to build it up but it isnt working well. I understand youre mr philosophy and a bit of a space cadet but you will scare woman away.

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Scrap it.

 

 

1. Get Abs.

 

2. Shirtless pics in the mirror. Flex.

 

3. Send messages to every girl on the site saying "sup, you really hawt. Wanna chill at my place?"

 

4. Chill, bang, repeat.

 

 

Then get off OLD when it's time to actually find a mate, because they are all whores.

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One more thing.

 

Now, about religion which is a very important part of my life.

 

I think you should change this to just, "Religion is a very important part of my life." The way you worded it, it seems almost confrontational and like this is something you argue about, or have in the past, and you're ready to defend yourself. It's an overeager display of putting your foot down, when it's not necessary.

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There are women who like the intellectual type so don't worry. TBS your profile isn't any better than the last. It screams "I'm shooting a b line for the altar" and you seem like a goody two shoes the way you write. Most or the stuff in your profile is a given, who DOESN'T want to date an honest person? And if it's not given it should be left for convo on Dates man.

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I would also reword this, because it kind of makes you sound like an underachiever. I know you go on to clarify that you're not one, but the impression was there for a moment. And there's no place you'd rather work? None? Really? Borrrring. :p Maybe, "I very much enjoy my job as a night auditor because it's convenient for me right now, it can be interesting at times, and more importantly, I can spend most of my shift studying and working on my writing, which is my real passion."

 

.

 

I think you're right, I'll take this into consideration.

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One more thing.

 

 

 

I think you should change this to just, "Religion is a very important part of my life." The way you worded it, it seems almost confrontational and like this is something you argue about, or have in the past, and you're ready to defend yourself. It's an overeager display of putting your foot down, when it's not necessary.

 

good point.

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How come it sounds like you're selling yourself to a prospective employer? Is that how it is when you do this online dating thing? :confused:

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What type of woman are you looking for? What activities would you enjoy with her?

 

I don't like it when I read women's online profiles and they talk about the type of guy they're looking for. they're obviously looking for someone they're compatible with, so i didn't bother to write down the obvious of what i'm looking for.

 

also whereabouts in England do you live? my best friend lives in barcombe near lewes

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I am a guy, no better-no worse, only thing I would say is it's professional and there isn't anything that leave a smirk on a woman's face.. yah know? But our approaches might be somewhat different etc. But otherwise it's a thorough description of your intellect, passion, and ability.

 

 

Now, about religion which is a very important part of my life. I believe strongly in God and I try very hard to live my life according to God's will. I do not believe in the Bible but I have no problem marrying someone who is Christian, Jewish or Muslim and I have no problem with going to Church.

 

Could be simpler put as " I'm very spiritual, believe in God, and respect all religions"

 

 

You're a writer (Which I'm moderately jealous of) so blurb yourself.. as much of all the different sides of you as possible. :)

 

 

good luck, Sir'!

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also whereabouts in England do you live? my best friend lives in barcombe near lewes

 

I'm sensing a love connection. :love:

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Also....

 

 

I can't keep quiet, I'm sorry...

 

Stop bragging about what you know and have done, it's unbecoming...

 

Languages.. change to Multilingual, as it would open up the floor for a question.. "what languages do you know?"

 

1000 text on calculus are like saltine crackers in my brain. Dry. No one is going to find this amazing except a mathematician- so unless that's what you're aiming for... exnay.

 

Wrote love story.. that's seems odd, because the mind-frame of which a person would need said story, in my mind, wouldn't need to be dating online.. unless it was a love story about calculus.

 

 

Again.. god speed ;)

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I don't like it when I read women's online profiles and they talk about the type of guy they're looking for. they're obviously looking for someone they're compatible with, so i didn't bother to write down the obvious of what i'm looking for.

 

 

Obvious to whom?

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I dont know. Its a lot better than the last one but it still isnt good.

 

You come across as someone who isn't much fun. If you're really that serious why dont you just do e-harmony?

 

Or maybe move to Amish country.

 

Anyway you want to play the serious responsible card. Thing is, you actually come across as out of touch with reality. You "might" become a bioinformatist?? How? Are you in school for that? That stood out to me for some reason.

Edited by Imajerk17
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Your profile fails to answer the most important question a girl is going to be asking herself when she's reading your profile, and deciding whether to contact you, or someone else.

 

"What would be enjoyable about spending time with this man?"

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Eternal Sunshine
I dont know. Its a lot better than the last one but it still isnt good.

 

You come across as someone who isn't much fun. If you're really that serious why dont you just do e-harmony?

 

Or maybe move to Amish country.

 

Anyway you want to play the serious responsible card. Thing is, you actually come across as out of touch with reality. You "might" become a bioinformatist?? How? Are you in school for that? That stood out to me for some reason.

 

I thought the same thing.

 

It all seems......like you are over-estimating your abilities. Maybe a touch delusional. Your thinking seems kind of disorganized and all over the place.

 

I don't see any evidence of you being a good writer in your profile. It's kind of mediocre, like what a person with an average writing ability would write.

 

I am not clear on completing a 1000 Calculus text in 60 days (yes I am a mathematician) - completed how? Did you write it? Did you study it? At what level? Again, it kind of sounds fanciful.

 

I wouldn't respond to this profile because something just....seems off.

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I don't like it when I read women's online profiles and they talk about the type of guy they're looking for. they're obviously looking for someone they're compatible with, so i didn't bother to write down the obvious of what i'm looking for.

 

 

'Compatible' comes in so many different forms though. And I presume you're not looking for a mirror image of your profile? I think it's nice to give someone the chance to think 'hey - that sounds like me' instead of, ironically, it all being about YOU.

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I wouldn't respond to this profile because something just....seems off.

 

Trying too hard? Too earnest?

 

I think OLD should be a taster, it's not (or shouldn't be) an 'I Am Looking For A Wife' advert.

 

It can be light, without superficial. My boyfriend and I both had quite basic profiles 'enjoy X, Y, Z regularly, would like to do A, B, C with someone like-minded, job is <whatever>, fitness/comedy/food/movies is a big part of my life, looking to date and if more comes of it, great!'

 

He messaged me 'I really like your profile, and your smile. I think we have many of the same interests and are local, would you like to meet for a drink?'

 

I said yes, we got engaged last week.

 

You have a good photo, you can afford to ease off a bit on the profile content. What's the worst that can happen? You have to have dinner with many lovely ladies to find out whether they may/may not be The One. I can think of worse ways to spend one's time!

 

As long as the most important things are mentioned briefly (for me these were my son, and my career) the rest can be discovered over a coffee and muffin. :)

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You have a good photo, you can afford to ease off a bit on the profile content. What's the worst that can happen?

 

The worse that can happen is that someone with real depth and profundity dismisses me as superficial. I'm trying to find someone like me. When I look at profiles I'm looking for someone who has evidence of depth in the words they've written. So I'm not going to portray myself as superficial.

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I also have knowledge of 11 languages (including Arabic, German, Italian, French and Spanish), completed a 1000 page calculus text in 60 days, have written a book of literary fiction (a love story), volunteered in New Orleans for 4 months and spent one month participating in the International Solidarity Movement in Palestine.

 

Look at me and at how awesome I am!

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The last paragraph is great. I seriously think you should get rid of the one about your job, its the worst of them all. Also no need to talk about religion at this point, get rid of that too please.

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