40 Fonzarelli Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Im wondering if I come off too strong on dates, especially 1st dates. I usually try to kiss her on a 1st date and if I do, I like to swap tongues a little bit. Is this coming on too strong? Would it be better to give a peck and let the anticipation build? Keep in mind, most of these 1st date makeouts are after a night of drinking. Its kinda hard to hold back in these cases. Link to post Share on other sites
xdahliax Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Don't peck, you're not a bird. Closed-mouth, lingering kiss. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 40 Fonzarelli Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 bump for more input. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Don't peck, you're not a bird. Closed-mouth, lingering kiss. I say this, but I'd incorporate the pull halfway back, make eye contact, smile like you have a dirty secret, and resume kissing her. Personally I always save open mouth kissing for more intimate moments. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OpheliaSong Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Honestly, after some of the threads here about guys not kissing even during sex, it is good to see that some like it. As long as it feels natural and she is returning it, I don't think there is a right or wrong way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpheliaSong Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I say this, but I'd incorporate the pull halfway back, make eye contact, smile like you have a dirty secret, and resume kissing her. Personally I always save open mouth kissing for more intimate moments. I do like eye contact. I don't think people realize how sexy that is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 It depends on the woman & the situation. I think the recommendation for a closed mouth linger kiss is best Assuming you are dating a sentient adult, if she wants to escalate, she has the ability to do so, don't you agree? Link to post Share on other sites
windybunny Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Im voting for the closed mouth kiss as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 40 Fonzarelli Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Ok thanks everyone. I think I will keep it conservative for the 1st date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 a 1st date better not even try to kiss me or i'd back away. you have to go at the pace of your partner. how do you even know she wants a kiss? not everyone does. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Suave Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Always starts out as a lengthy kiss and turns into a full-out session. Usually nothing more if it's a first date. Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 a 1st date better not even try to kiss me or i'd back away. you have to go at the pace of your partner. how do you even know she wants a kiss? not everyone does. Best answer by far. Don't assume that every girl wants to go into deep passionate makeout by first date. Don't assume that if a girl doesn't want to do that, then she isn't interested in you. She might not be comfortable with going all-out on a first date and need more time with you before that happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
felicity1 Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Im wondering if I come off too strong on dates, especially 1st dates. I usually try to kiss her on a 1st date and if I do, I like to swap tongues a little bit. Is this coming on too strong? Would it be better to give a peck and let the anticipation build? Keep in mind, most of these 1st date makeouts are after a night of drinking. Its kinda hard to hold back in these cases. Great question! I love a sensitive kisser, someone who is able to sense where I want to go with it. There's nothing worse than a forceful kisser who just wants to stick his tongue down my throat. I would say start close-mouthed and follow her lead. Link to post Share on other sites
Addison312 Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 My first date with my current bf involved meeting at a lounge. After about 3 glasses of wine and some cheese, he TOLD me he was going to kiss me. It was light, open-mouthed, respectful with only slight tongue. I liked it. Whatever you do, don't ASK...just do if you're sensing it's the right moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Addison312 Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 I should add that a kiss on the first date is usually not what I want, but with this guy it was different. I've had one date literally be so aggressive with his first kiss (on the second date), that I was so turned off and I never wanted to see him again. He just enveloped me in a corner booth in the middle of conversation. It was so awkward and terrible. The next day he texted that our next date "should be movie watching at his place," and I actually felt terror. Ended it then. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
felicity1 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I should add that a kiss on the first date is usually not what I want, but with this guy it was different. I've had one date literally be so aggressive with his first kiss (on the second date), that I was so turned off and I never wanted to see him again. He just enveloped me in a corner booth in the middle of conversation. It was so awkward and terrible. The next day he texted that our next date "should be movie watching at his place," and I actually felt terror. Ended it then. You poor darling....what a trauma! Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I would always end a date with a fistbump. Shows that the date was important (I mean, when doesn't a fistbump mean something awesome happened?) but also doesn't come off as overly needy or too attached. It says to the ladies that we'll start with the fistbump, but maybe be bumpin' uglies later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThomasD Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 . . . I love a sensitive kisser, someone who is able to sense where I want to go with it. . . . I would say start close-mouthed and follow her lead. My first girlfriend taught me (somewhat consciously, but largely by example) that lovemaking at any level - from holding hands, to wild sex with mattress-thrashing, scream-into-the-pillow orgasms - is very much a "conversation". It works best when you pay attention to each other, respond to each other's actions, don't force a topic that's not wanted, give each other a chance to "talk", take the lead - pass the lead - or neither lead as the situation calls for, etc. (And I learned this without ever even fondling her, seeing her naked, much less having sex with her. My wife has never appreciated how much our married lovemaking benefited from what I learned from that other girlfriend.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bumpyroad Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 (edited) It should be whatever feels right in the moment. A peck on the cheek on a first date is sweet. That's probably ideal for a lot of people. I'd want to get down to some real kissing after 3 or so dates or I'd start to wonder if he even fancied me, plus I'd be dying to know whether he's a good kisser or not; limp-lettuce kisser = dealbreaker. Edited November 20, 2013 by bumpyroad typo Link to post Share on other sites
SoonMyFriend Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 I like anticipation so I am not a fan of make out sessions on a first date. I'm in favour of the closed mouth lingering kiss if it was a REALLY good date with a strong physical attraction, a cheek kiss, or otherwise just a hug. If you immediately go in for a make out and I'm not willing your chances at a second date have just gone down to zero. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 I am always surprised when people ask this questions of "should I do this or that on a date"'. Don't be a damn robot but just FEEL what the date is doing with you. Every date is different. I would hate it if a guy kissed me just because he thinks that this is what he is supposed to do. Just feel how the interaction goes, if the atmosphere gets romantic or not. Which is BTW not a must on a first date. Maybe you both enjoy the date and find each other interesting enough to see each other again without feeling the need to immediately get hot and heavy. I personally don't like it when things get romantic too soon since this does not feel natural. You don't know each other. So on a first date I strive for an interesting friendly conversation, nothing more. Kiss on the cheek when saying hello and goodbye. If after such a conversation a guy would try to shove his tongue in my mouth I would be shocked I think as this would totally not fit into the context. I am pretty allergic to people trying to get physical too soon. I once met a guy over breakfast and at some point he wanted to feed me something he had taken. I did not accept that, I found it a forced way of creating a level of intimacy that was totally not adequate for people who have just met (and being fed makes me cringe as it somehow seems a scene from a bad porn movie anyway). Afterwards the guy mailed me to say that there was no chemistry, I guess because I did not react to the way he approached me. There are no golden rules in dating, you need to develop some tentacles to feel what your date wants and expects. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bumpyroad Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 (edited) I would always end a date with a fistbump. Shows that the date was important (I mean, when doesn't a fistbump mean something awesome happened?) but also doesn't come off as overly needy or too attached. It says to the ladies that we'll start with the fistbump, but maybe be bumpin' uglies later. Was that serious? That would make me think he sees me as his little sister, or as a pal only. There are no golden rules in dating, you need to develop some tentacles to feel what your date wants and expects. Exactly. Edited November 20, 2013 by bumpyroad typo Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 The next day he texted that our next date "should be movie watching at his place," and I actually felt terror. Ended it then. That's creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
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