dustpull Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 From kind of more than friends to friends, to complicated, to 'hangout' buddies, to more than friends less than lovers, to..... whatever we are now.. So this guy I've been 'hanging out' with, told me on Sunday night that he really likes me, thinks i'm a great person he feels comfortable being with, finds me very attractive, loves spending time with me doing anything, sees being with me IN THE FUTURE, but he's not ready for anything 'more' right now. He's not ready to be commited to anyone because he just broke up with his love a few months ago and even though they officially broke things up last month, he still 'loves' his ex and is not completely over his ex yet. He told me it won't be fair for me if he starts a relationship when he's still in love with his ex. He told me this 2-3 months ago when we were 'friends'. I seriously don't get it. Does it seem a bit too excusey? I also got my heart broken early this year by my first love, I was extremely depressed but after a couple of months I kind of moved on, and found this guy, and I just couldn't understand why he couldn't move on too with me. Everything seems perfect between us two, except for this 'not ready to commit' thing.. I wasn't even rushing for anything, I just asked him where we stand and what his feelings are for me. I'm just afraid to go any further with him because obviously I am much more serious in this than him. Weird thing is, it's been like this for a couple of months. He would always initiate texting, skyping, hanging out.... he did all of that. There would be days (3-4) where he went silent, then creeped back in again. I always hoped he would text me again, and he did. But this time around, I don't think he will.. I sent him a long letter telling him I agree on being friends and just taking things slow and what not, then I haven't heard from him since Wednesday (it's been 2-3 days). However just last night at 12 am, he liked 2 of my pictures on FB out of nowhere.. I dont know why he did that.. Any thoughts? I am so depressed over this and I really like this guy so much, he even told me we have so many things in common and he finds me very attractive and nice.. Is all of that not enough for him? I even was with him through all of the breakup mess with his ex and I supported him. I was everything that he could have hoped for.. but....sigh guess its not enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Do not agree on being just friends if this situation is causing you grief. He doesn't want a relationship with you. The reason why doesn't really matter. That's all you need to know. There is however, someone else out there that would love to have a chance to be your man. Stop wasting your time on this guy (who's still in love with his ex) and go out and give yourself the opportunity to meet the man who will bring joy to your life... not confusion and angst. He's only keeping you around because he may need a back up plan occasionally. Don't allow him to use you this way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Listen to what he tells you. He's not ready. He will continue all of the BS as long as you let him. If you are willing to accept the fact that there is no future, then go for it. It sounds like you want more though. He's only doing what you let him do. He's not ready. Oh, and he's not ready. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dustpull Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 I agree with you both, but how do I handle with this heartbreak? How do i stop thinking about him and the 'what it could've been'? I just want to break free, I'm so tired... It doesn't help that he's everythign that i could ever hoped for in a guy too.. I'm such a wreck right now I keep hyperventilatting. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I understand, we've all been there. Get out of the house if you can, keep yourself busy. Surround yourself with friends and family. I promise you it will get better. I felt just like you do right now not even a month ago. It will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dustpull Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 I understand, we've all been there. Get out of the house if you can, keep yourself busy. Surround yourself with friends and family. I promise you it will get better. I felt just like you do right now not even a month ago. It will get better. will it really get better? was he also the man of your dreams? This is the 'everything i could ever hoped for' kind of guy im talking about.... not some 'decent' guy...... it will be so hard....... I feel like the onyl thing that can make me move on is if another guy like him comes into my life.. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Run away. He's not lying when he says he can't commit. Find a guy who will commit to you--you will be much happier in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 will it really get better? was he also the man of your dreams? This is the 'everything i could ever hoped for' kind of guy im talking about.... not some 'decent' guy...... it will be so hard....... I feel like the onyl thing that can make me move on is if another guy like him comes into my life.. He isn't ready.... How long did it take you after your breakup? He said its been only a month. He isn't ready. What you could o IDE tell him when you are ready...call me. But you don't wait or him. Link to post Share on other sites
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