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Is Persistence Really Key?


MrCastle

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A spawn from my last thread. This really should have been the main topic there but it's my fault for being more broad and instead focusing on my individual situation; so let's do that here.

 

Have you been rejected by someone but continued to pursue, and had it work out in the end?

 

I hear all the time how girls have turned down guys but eventually the girl changed her mind and the guy got a shot.

 

I don't know if those stories are embellished for effect because although I've heard about them, I've never seen it happen.

 

My belief is if a girl truly wants you, you'll know it. I'm not going to continue to ask her out once she's turned me down. I don't know how you do that without coming off as creepy, stalkerish, or just plain pathetic.

 

So does persistence actually work?

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No, it doesn't work. If I reject someone, I tend to feel bad. I don't want a constant reminder that I'm rejecting someone. If I ever happen to turn a guy down and then change my mind about him, it'll be up to me to win him back. I don't expect him to wait around.

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Have you been rejected by someone but continued to pursue, and had it work out in the end?

 

Never, and it took a number of such incidents as a younger man to break me of that habit of being patiently persistent and seeing disparate 'signs' as a reason to continue. Great life lessons, at least for my generation. YMMV.

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The only way I see it working is if you ask someone out but they're in a relationship. Then maybe once the relationship is over they give you a shot.

 

But if they're single and they tell you no--I think it's no.

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