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Hookup with Kids in Home


mlpony

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Hi,

 

I'm new here. I was inspired to join and voice my opinion after reading this post about "sex hookup with kids around" thread, which is now closed:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/207085-sex-hookup-kids-around-2.html

 

I am in a similar situation to Alexa. I'm 42 and after dating around for about 1 year, swearing I wouldn't "hook up" and basically feeling very disappointed, I have decided just to be open to hooking up. I no longer shun the guys who contact me online because they are looking "for fun" (of course I may not have time for them all, but that's not bad :-)).

 

I'm having more fun now, not expecting fancy dates or a long-term relationships. I'm open to NSA sex with the right person. It's liberating and I'm not feeling like I'm living in my own personal 1950's any more just because I'm a woman.

 

Like Alexa, I have two children at home. So hooking up is not always easy. I think its easier for me than for her, because my ex takes the kids sometimes.

 

I wanted to say to Alexa, who wanted to hook up with a co-worker back in 2009, I hope that you went for it, despite all of the comments you got about how you will be traumatizing your children. You are not a bad person, Alexa. You deserve to have a sex life and have some fun. And children will not be traumatized because their parents happen to be enjoying their lives and experiencing pleasure. If anything the sex will relieve the stress of being a single parent and like you said, build confidence!

 

My practical advice would have been to try to get a babysitter, just because for me, it would help me relax and enjoy sex more. But if that's not possible, economically, then I would have told her just to use the living room and maybe even explain to the daughter beforehand. Your daughter will just have to understand that mommy needs a life too. I'm sure the guy was safe, you said you knew him through work.

 

I hope it all worked out for you and I hope you are enjoying life more now. I am excited too as I embark on this road.

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get it girl! I've had exs who had children and i see nothing wrong with sex while children are in the house. Make sure they can't see it or hear it though.

 

Be safe and have fun!

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Gentlemen, be very careful when you decide to have children. Family law the way it is your statistically likely divorce will leave your children in the capable hands of women like the OP.

 

Oh please.

 

Ladies, realize that you will be demoted to the status of "child" after you have children, i.e. you will no longer be able to participate in adult activities without receiving a huge guilt trip from respectable society.

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I am all for a woman having a fulfilling sex life.

 

But you gotta be smart about it.

 

A man should not be in the home with your children until you have been dating him for MONTHS.

 

Letting a near-stranger that close to your children is not selfish - it's just STUPID. What if he is a pedophile waiting for you to doze off so he can go touch your kids?

 

Want a random hook-up? Fine, but get a babysitter and a hotel room.

 

It isn't about the moral implications of your children hearing sex. It's about keeping your children PHYSICALLY safe.

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The kids will know that the mom is f****ing strangers in the next room, make no mistake about it.:p:p

maybe they will. But she specificaly said that her ex takes the kids on the weekend.

 

Mlpony just ignore certain people on here- i've noticed they are women hating losers.

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I am all for a woman having a fulfilling sex life.

 

But you gotta be smart about it.

 

A man should not be in the home with your children until you have been dating him for MONTHS.

 

Letting a near-stranger that close to your children is not selfish - it's just STUPID. What if he is a pedophile waiting for you to doze off so he can go touch your kids?

 

Want a random hook-up? Fine, but get a babysitter and a hotel room.

 

It isn't about the moral implications of your children hearing sex. It's about keeping your children PHYSICALLY safe.

 

I completely agree. 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys in the US are sexually abused- many at the hands of mom's boyfriend or casual aquaintances. Many pedophiles target single mothers because they see them as vulnerable, gulliable, needing validation, easily manipulated.

 

Pedophiles don't have a sign around their neck that reads "child molester". They look and act like normal, everyday guys.

 

Your childrens safety should trump your need for sex. If you can't get a room or a babysitter, get a toy, or have Skype sex with randoms...but don't bring random men into your children's home.

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I would have told her just to use the living room and maybe even explain to the daughter beforehand. Your daughter will just have to understand that mommy needs a life too. I'm sure the guy was safe, you said you knew him through work.

 

I sure as hell hope you are a troll because this is possibly the worst advice I have seen on LS.

 

Kids do not understand that "mommy needs a [sex] life," and neither should they be exposed to mommy's hook-ups. It puts them at physical and emotional risk.

 

Don't become a parent until you are prepared to make the sacrifices that come with that role.

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I am all for a woman having a fulfilling sex life.

 

But you gotta be smart about it.

 

A man should not be in the home with your children until you have been dating him for MONTHS.

 

Letting a near-stranger that close to your children is not selfish - it's just STUPID. What if he is a pedophile waiting for you to doze off so he can go touch your kids?

 

Want a random hook-up? Fine, but get a babysitter and a hotel room.

 

It isn't about the moral implications of your children hearing sex. It's about keeping your children PHYSICALLY safe.

 

I appreciate your concern for my security.

 

However, I disagree about "knowing a man for months before I let him in".

 

Recently, here is a list of the men who have been in my home when children were there:

 

a contractor who did some painting. I located him via craigslist or the local free newspaper, I can't remember which.

 

a guy who came to inspect the water meter

 

a guy who came to inspect the electrical meter

 

another contractor who I was interviewing to do the painting but did not use.

 

Obviously, none of these men had sex with me (I said I would do it with the "right man"). However I did not know any of them very long and they were all in my house.

 

Anyway, I mostly wrote my original post to sympathize with Alexa...did not want to start a big debate.

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I reported a woman who did this whilst my daughter was staying over at her home.

 

Yeah, as a normal thing she lets men come over in the night and has sex with them whilst her children (and other peoples children are in the home)

 

She eventually moved far away from the area, due to shame. Her daughter is doing the same thing as her now.

 

Take care,

Eve x

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I appreciate your concern for my security.

 

However, I disagree about "knowing a man for months before I let him in".

 

Recently, here is a list of the men who have been in my home when children were there:

 

a contractor who did some painting. I located him via craigslist or the local free newspaper, I can't remember which.

 

a guy who came to inspect the water meter

 

a guy who came to inspect the electrical meter

 

another contractor who I was interviewing to do the painting but did not use.

 

Obviously, none of these men had sex with me (I said I would do it with the "right man"). However I did not know any of them very long and they were all in my house.

 

Anyway, I mostly wrote my original post to sympathize with Alexa...did not want to start a big debate.

 

But these guys are there in a professional capacity. While I would still watch them like a freaking hawk while they were in my house, they have a lot to lose by trying something stupid - their job!

 

Very different than a random guy there to have sex with you.

 

As I said, I have no issue with casual NSA sex. I just don't want to see moms put their children in harm's way. The statistics that QS shared are real. I can't even tell you how many friends I have who were molested by their moms' "friends".

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But these guys are there in a professional capacity. While I would still watch them like a freaking hawk while they were in my house, they have a lot to lose by trying something stupid - their job!

 

Very different than a random guy there to have sex with you.

 

As I said, I have no issue with casual NSA sex. I just don't want to see moms put their children in harm's way. The statistics that QS shared are real. I can't even tell you how many friends I have who were molested by their moms' "friends".

 

I agree, you should watch repairmen like a hawk in your house. A cable guy could unlock a basement window and come back later when no one is home and rob the place- or hurt you or your kids.

 

More power to you if want casual sex, but don't let your kids be collateral damage. They rely on you to protect them and to be their advocate.

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I am terribly sorry OP but you sound mentally retarded / slow / immature. How old are your children? I pity them if mom is traipsing random men into her bedroom. I'm sure you will think you are very stealth though :rolleyes: Kids aren't stupid, they are a lot more perceptive than they are given credit for and your kids will know something is up. Poor things.

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Gentlemen, be very careful when you decide to have children. Family law the way it is your statistically likely divorce will leave your children in the capable hands of women like the OP.

 

Coming from someone who has sex with 14 year olds in his 30s. Gtfo.

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todreaminblue
Hi,

 

I'm new here. I was inspired to join and voice my opinion after reading this post about "sex hookup with kids around" thread, which is now closed:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/207085-sex-hookup-kids-around-2.html

 

I am in a similar situation to Alexa. I'm 42 and after dating around for about 1 year, swearing I wouldn't "hook up" and basically feeling very disappointed, I have decided just to be open to hooking up. I no longer shun the guys who contact me online because they are looking "for fun" (of course I may not have time for them all, but that's not bad :-)).

 

I'm having more fun now, not expecting fancy dates or a long-term relationships. I'm open to NSA sex with the right person. It's liberating and I'm not feeling like I'm living in my own personal 1950's any more just because I'm a woman.

 

Like Alexa, I have two children at home. So hooking up is not always easy. I think its easier for me than for her, because my ex takes the kids sometimes.

 

I wanted to say to Alexa, who wanted to hook up with a co-worker back in 2009, I hope that you went for it, despite all of the comments you got about how you will be traumatizing your children. You are not a bad person, Alexa. You deserve to have a sex life and have some fun. And children will not be traumatized because their parents happen to be enjoying their lives and experiencing pleasure. If anything the sex will relieve the stress of being a single parent and like you said, build confidence!

 

My practical advice would have been to try to get a babysitter, just because for me, it would help me relax and enjoy sex more. But if that's not possible, economically, then I would have told her just to use the living room and maybe even explain to the daughter beforehand. Your daughter will just have to understand that mommy needs a life too. I'm sure the guy was safe, you said you knew him through work.

 

I hope it all worked out for you and I hope you are enjoying life more now. I am excited too as I embark on this road.

 

I honestly cant believe what you just wrote.....i wrote something and deleted it because it sounded judgemental...hooking up ......

 

 

 

 

 

that song should be played for the daughter not mummy has a life..hooking up is for catching burramundi.not bringing up a daughter in my opinion..deb

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You actually believe him?

 

I probably shouldnt. He also claimed he is some brad pit look alike. Turned out he is some lanky dude that would probably die after a few seconds if you put a clip on his nose.

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I am all for your spirit OP. Time flies make the most of remaining sexy years. It is tricky when you have kids for sure. As you said the best options are for when your kids are with their father for the weekend, or with a baby sitter or with other family members or at friends place for a sleep over.

As someone else said, kids really don't understand that their parent have sexual needs and even if your kids are mids teens up, I still think its not a good idea that they see their mom traipse a bunch of different guys through the living room through to the bedroom, each month. It is much better to enjoy your hookups where ever else (hotel, car, in the office after hours, public toilets, etc) so your children are none the wiser, unless the guy stays on the scene for a while as a fwb to relationship.

 

If you have kids I really don't think its ideal to have random guys sleep through the night (better if you knew them through work or whatever). I think the pedo aspect is being overplayed, but still I think you are better off sending them back home afterwards. I think the 1 in 4 girls have been sexually abused stat is BS. There is just as much chance of something unforseen happening with a random hookup for a single woman.

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ImperfectionisBeauty

My ex invited me over to have sex once while his son was sleeping and I declined because his son is 3 like he could wake up and come down stairs and I feel like that would be traumatizing to a small kid.

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If you have kids I really don't think its ideal to have random guys sleep through the night (better if you knew them through work or whatever). I think the pedo aspect is being overplayed, but still I think you are better off sending them back home afterwards. I think the 1 in 4 girls have been sexually abused stat is BS. There is just as much chance of something unforseen happening with a random hookup for a single woman.

 

Thanks. I agree with you about sleeping through the night and I definitely won't. And there are two more facts I should point out here:

 

Until now I have been "dating". This means that I go into it hoping for a commitment. We go out about three times or so and it ends up being a hookup anyway (sorry, I am easily persuaded lol). So the only difference going forward is that I am no longer under the illusion that I am looking for "commitment". I no longer worry whether they call or text. It is very free-ing.

 

Also, I have several friends who were sexually abused when they were children. One close friend was abused by her biological father who lived at home. Another was abused by his grandfather. I have never met anyone who was abused by a stranger who just happened to be in the home. I would never bring a man home who asked weird questions about my kids or asked if he could meet them, etc. There are signs.

 

Anyway I talked to my pre-teen son and told him that if there is a sock over my doorknob, he shouldn't knock. I told him this would train him for dorm life.

 

Anyway, thanks for your support, ascendotum. And thanks for not crucifying me.

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Anyway I talked to my pre-teen son and told him that if there is a sock over my doorknob, he shouldn't knock. I told him this would train him for dorm life.

 

.

 

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

 

Yeah right. No one would do that. I hope. If so...WOW ffs can you even wait til they are asleep? Your poor child.

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OMG, I'm not a mom but if I were I can't see myself having sex with strangers in my home with my kids there. How would one know if they were sexing up some pedophile or something? I would be afraid of falling asleep and this stranger sneaking into the kids room. People pleazzzzzzze!!!:sick:

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That's so weird. I had sex a few times at my ex's place when her 13 year old son was there and it was awkward, didn't really like it. But he preferred it because he was scared of being home alone at night, or we would of went to my place as I live right next door. Old enough to know what's going on but you want to make sure they don't hear it or really know. But yea, never any sex at her place when her smaller kids were home, that's odd.

 

I don't know how guys can be ok with just going to her place when kids are home if it's a ONS or FWB deal. We were in a relationship I knew the kids and spent time with them and it was still weird.

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