Immissme Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'm dating a guy for about 6 weeks. We've been seeing each other regularly on weekends. We talked about dating each other exclusively and we said we like each other. He comes to my house pick me up and take me out. He met my mom ( my mom lives with me). I met his bestfriends. He takes me with him when he goes to see his friends. Friday night, he was arrested for a DUI on the way to my place to attend my family's party from his buddies place. The last time I saw him was Thursday night. We had dinner and chilled at my place. I miss him. We had plan to see each other this weekend but because of what happened he couldn't meet up with me. Is it ok to send him an " I miss you text" or would that sound too clingy? Is it an appropriate message to send considering what his situation right now? I know his going through a lot and he maybe wants to be alone. I don't want to sound like I'm bothering him but I miss him. Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Just send him the text, you're over thinking it. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Don't text. Call him! I'm sure he'd be happy to hear your voice, especially after what he's been through. (I hope this is his first DUI, and that it never happens again, btw.) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Immissme Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 I worry about him. I know he's worrying about a lot of things like how he's gonna get to work and if hes gonna loose his job. I'm not sure if he wants to talk. I sent him a text yesterday saying if he wants to talk I'm here for him. He said he would let me know. He hasn't text saying he wants to talk so I don't know what to do if I should send a text or not. I miss him and I want to know that he's ok. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Well, if you already sent a text yesterday, and he responding saying that he'd let you know if he wants to talk ... then, don't send the "I miss you" text. He doesn't need the pressure of having to deal with your needs, right now, and he'll probably consider it unhelpful. He clearly wants his space right now to deal with this. He probably feels like sh*t, but he probably doesn't want to come off as being vulnerable now, either. Give him his space. Then, if you haven't heard from him by Thursday or something, just send him a text to inquire how he's doing. Men are generally into taking action and problem-solving ... and with his pride on the line over this ... he'll feel better (more of the 'man') when he's got this particular problem sorted out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Immissme Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 He just sent a text saying hes sorry for not contacting me all day today. He also said sorry about yesterday and today for not spending time with me cause hes busy dealing with the DUI stuff. I just hope we won't stop seeing each other because of his DUI. I did some thinking and I still like him despite of everything. He's not a bad person. He just made a bad choice that night cause he wanted to spend time with me and my family. He's an educated man. He has a college degree and a great career. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Immissme Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 I sent him a text back and told him I miss him. He hasn't replied. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'm sorry to hear this. Forget him. No matter how much you do or don't really miss HIM, it's the presence of having someone rather than the actual person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Immissme Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'm sorry to hear this. Forget him. No matter how much you do or don't really miss HIM, it's the presence of having someone rather than the actual person. Why should I forget him? Because he got a DUI? Link to post Share on other sites
gamman Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Immissme -- as others have said, just give him some space right now, and leave him alone. If you're not careful, it's going to be your clinginess and neediness that drive him away and end the relationship... not the DUI. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 DO NOT say anything more.... The " I miss you" was enough. It was not too much, but will literally be WAY too much if you send anymore, without him first initiating. If you do not write anything to him again and let him take charge and make the next few moves, everything will be fine. I just think if your really into someone, after 6 weeks an " I miss you" text is no big deal. It was not for my partner and I. Yet everyone is different, maybe it is harder to get closer to some people than it is others, which dictates the time you CAN openl disclose you miss them.. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 And if he is really into you by now, he will not care about your I miss you text, and will rather be happy about it. On the other hand, if he is not that into you and is only lukewarm about you, your message will possibly be enough to turn him off the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Immissme Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 He hasn't replied. I won't send him another text. I know his into me. That's why he got his DUI cause he was on the way to my family's party even when I said it was ok if he couldn't make it. He was a responsible guy. I don't know what got to his mind driving drunk. He's not that type of guy who would do something like that. Anyway, I won't text him again till he texts first. Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 You sound mentally weird to be honest. you made a thread about if you should date this guy since he got DUI. Now you are chasing after this guy?? No wonder why you had to fix your exs' problems....... Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Whenever the question is "Should I send him/her a text?", the answer is always, "NO!!! In the name of all that's holy, do NOT send a text!!!" yw Link to post Share on other sites
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