PrissyB Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Ok so here we go. I am 25 years old woman, currently in college for paralegal studies, own my house, own my car. In February my fiance of 3 ½ years cheated on my with my best friend. We broke up, the two moved out, now they live in a trailer in the ghetto. Whatever right? I am a strong person and have moved on with my life. With that being said, on July 4th I was out a dance club with some friends. While we talked and sipped our girly cocktails, on the dance floor I saw a young guy dancing. He was spinning, poi, LED lights on chains in cool designs. Super cute, tall, Italian, long hair and sweet brown eyes. I’ll call him Alex for the sake of this post. Alex turned out to have a mutual friend in common. She had invited him out to hang with us. After a while of dancing, everyone was drunk but me and Alex. I asked him how old he way and he told me he was 19. First thing that went through my head was, "Well there goes that." A week later Alex came over to my house to play video games. We talked and I realized even for his age I really could not help but like him. We started dating not long after that. He works, he goes to school, and has his own place. (Grandma’s garage. Lol.) There are no problems. Nothing. Everything is perfect, the relationship is fun, it’s easy. He pays for dinner and dates, cuts my grass. I have no problem cooking him dinner three days a week and doing his laundry and grocery shopping. Our parents at first did not approve of our relationship but both have come to except it. My problem I am having is people judging me. I know eight months ago if I was a 25 year old woman date a 19 year old, I would have judge her. I used to think that is to much of an age difference when you are so young. In 10 years if we are still together then it won’t be so much of a problem. This doesn’t feel wrong. I don't want to get married after what happened the last time I considered it. Children are also something I don't think I want right now. But I want some other peoples thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Yes, they will judge you because it's not common. What else can you do...either deal with it or give up..... If I walk with a white woman, some people will look at us. (I am Colored) My option is either deal with it or not dating them. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Friends and families opions are one thing, random people on the internet is another. It's equivalent to asking a stranger at a mall what their reaction would be. So let's use that scenario. If I saw you two at a mall, I'd look twice, but that's it. My eyes wouldn't widen, I wouldn't nudge my friend to show him what I found, I wouldn't laugh under my breath and follow you to see if you were really a couple and not a mom/son. I'd just note it and move on with my life. And I'd think he was hung like a horse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PrissyB Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 Yes, they will judge you because it's not common. What else can you do...either deal with it or give up..... If I walk with a white woman, some people will look at us. (I am Colored) My option is either deal with it or not dating them. I can understand that. I do deal with it. It honestly doesn't bother me. But I am curious what people do think. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 25 yr old woman dating a 19 yr old man----a tad odd. There is a big difference here where many grow between 19-23 yrs old. You are just wasting your time. Had you been 30 and he was 24 and you bothe were professional and working then it wouldnt be an issue. With this age difference come the flip side...when you are 47 and he is 41...you are going through menopause...he can trade you in on a 34 yr old. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Is he looking for a LTR? What's his relationship history? Have you met his family? Friends? By that I mean where they live. You've been to grandma's garage, I presume. How do things go with grandma? Is his family traditional Italian? If so, are you Italian? IME, Italian mothers have certain desires for their sons and can be pretty assertive about that. I think any issues with the age difference will present themselves during the next six months to year. Right now limerence (attraction/romance) rules the roost. If this otherwise works, go with the flow, mindful of the realities. Welcome to LS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PrissyB Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 I understand the possibility of failure in the relationship and the age difference being the issue. But I don’t want to focus on it. His family lives where we do, he has a career plan. He is working to finishing school. I started school late due to financial problems and family death. Close to getting my AA soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Later82012 Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 As of now you are just dating, right? You are looking for a possible long-term relationship and it is just a 6-year age gap. So, what is the problem here? When people have no problems with ONS, FWB, sleeping with people half their age, having affairs and sleeping with people they do not even see a future with what is the problem here? If it works for you in the long run it works, if it won't work it won't work. Who knows who is going to live tomorrow? Nowadays everyone is a psychologist and a psychiatrist on the dating forums judging and analyzing every little thing. You need not worry about people. Most of them do not know what is going on with themselves anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Doing his laundry? Cutting your grass? I don't know about that. Have fun physically but I wouldn't expect much relationship wise. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Ok so here we go. I am 25 years old woman, currently in college for paralegal studies, own my house, own my car. In February my fiance of 3 ½ years cheated on my with my best friend. We broke up, the two moved out, now they live in a trailer in the ghetto. Whatever right? I am a strong person and have moved on with my life. With that being said, on July 4th I was out a dance club with some friends. While we talked and sipped our girly cocktails, on the dance floor I saw a young guy dancing. He was spinning, poi, LED lights on chains in cool designs. Super cute, tall, Italian, long hair and sweet brown eyes. I’ll call him Alex for the sake of this post. Alex turned out to have a mutual friend in common. She had invited him out to hang with us. After a while of dancing, everyone was drunk but me and Alex. I asked him how old he way and he told me he was 19. First thing that went through my head was, "Well there goes that." A week later Alex came over to my house to play video games. We talked and I realized even for his age I really could not help but like him. We started dating not long after that. He works, he goes to school, and has his own place. (Grandma’s garage. Lol.) There are no problems. Nothing. Everything is perfect, the relationship is fun, it’s easy. He pays for dinner and dates, cuts my grass. I have no problem cooking him dinner three days a week and doing his laundry and grocery shopping. Our parents at first did not approve of our relationship but both have come to except it. My problem I am having is people judging me. I know eight months ago if I was a 25 year old woman date a 19 year old, I would have judge her. I used to think that is to much of an age difference when you are so young. In 10 years if we are still together then it won’t be so much of a problem. This doesn’t feel wrong. I don't want to get married after what happened the last time I considered it. Children are also something I don't think I want right now. But I want some other peoples thoughts. Your family came around because you are happy probably they see that , they love you they want you to be happy so support you ...be happy stuff what people on the street think......hold him closer when they stare if they do......love is love..with any couple age difference is not a consideration mind set is .... happiness in love is a thing to be treasured enjoy it and i wish you a bright and happy future......best wishes....deb Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Male or female, 19 year olds havent really found themselves yet. They are still coming into adulthood and most people dont form a truly solid base of who they are until about 23/24. Id say enjoy it for now, and just play things out as they come. Do know that the guy is young, so he may still be figuring out what he wants in life. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Sounds like you make a good couple. Link to post Share on other sites
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