avon20 Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 One of the reasons I'm hesitant to commit to a relationship is because I don't want my girlfriend calling me everyday. I don't like talking on the phone everyday. If she calls me once or twice a week fine. That's enough to show me she still cares but we don't need to talk everyday. I find that if a woman I'm seeing starts calling me everyday then after 2 weeks I lose interest level in her and want her to go away for a month. That's another reason why I don't like to spend the night at a girlfriend's house for more than 1 night. If we get together over the weekend and we are in a serious relationship and she wants me to stay at her place all weekend I will agree to stay Friday night and most of the day Saturday but I want to be back home in my own place Saturday evening. Ideally I would not even initiate spending the nights together. That's something I would wait for her to initiate. So this is another reason why I am single. I haven't yet found the right woman. The right woman for me would be one who does not want to get married or spend a lot of time together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 You really have had a women call you everyday? Link to post Share on other sites
Author avon20 Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 In the last 2 long term relationships yes. I've been through the experience of what it's like to talk everyday on the phone otherwise I couldn't say what I really wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Sounds to me like you don't want a a relationship. Everyone has different levels of "contact me" preferences, but it looks like you are putting the rules before the person. If it is a "burden" to spend time with your "girlfriend" and talk to her, maybe you should seek out something requiring less commitment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 So this is another reason why I am single. I haven't yet found the right woman. The right woman for me would be one who does not want to get married or spend a lot of time together. Not wanting to spend a lot of time together would make it difficult to have a serious relationship. Is it that you get tired of the person, or that spending time with the person keeps you from other things you want to do? Maybe it is a matter of meeting the right person--someone you actually enjoy eating a meal with on a daily basis. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 In the last 2 long term relationships yes. I've been through the experience of what it's like to talk everyday on the phone otherwise I couldn't say what I really wanted. I personally wouldn't care to talk to a guy on the phone everyday. Contact, yes. - but I don't care for phone calls. However I will try to find an equal medium depending on the guy I am dating. You can communicate that to the girl. I don't think it doesn't mean you don't want a relationship - I will feel pretty crowded. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 You're probably a little on the guarded side emotionally, which is why being around a woman becomes overwhelming, the emotional demands and reciprocation feels like a high pressure and for you, you're not really that interested or open enough with a woman so you just want to spend a small amount of time with her because then it becomes too much, then a chore and she becomes smothering. If you're really interested in someone, you have a much higher tolerance (If you even want to call it that), you don't feel obligated, you just want to be around this woman because of the way she makes you feel and what you experience with her. It's like you doing something that really gives you an adrenaline rush or that's really exciting, are you like ready to go right away? You just want more and more, instead of less. Now as far as women contacting you every day, that's pretty much just the way it works. Every man IMO needs a break at some point, everybody needs personal space as well and you need to communicate that in a relationship or someone you are seriously dating. But this is not a negative thing, It's more just to pull back and get yourself collected again, because when you're really engrossed in an experience and situation everything kind of gets out of order. So I can understand why you don't want to talk every single day, I'm the same way I definitely want my personal space to unwind, and I don't need continuous contact as If I'm trying to sustain some kind of link, I have faith in the way that I feel and the way that they feel so I don't need constant reassurance or attention. As far as not seeing a woman more than one day, well then that's definitely not the girl for you. You're basically just banging chicks in that situation, so I think It's important telling those women you aren't interested in a relationship instead of expecting them not to bother you much. Anyway I feel like I'm speaking chinese here in someway (assuming you don't speak that!), you basically have to find a woman that breaks the mold of what just is typical for you. It's a completely different experience when a woman just has appeal and attractiveness to her in some ways, versus a woman you feel like, damn...she's like the total package for me, because everything feels right and the chemistry just connects you with her in a way that you're not controlling or in control of. Lot of guys only date women they feel are beneath their expectations so that they can connect and disconnect when they please, and just use women for things like sex, companionship some of the time, and all those types of things...because it's better than being alone and not getting laid until something better comes along. So IF that's what you're doing what do you really expect from these women? I don't think you're dating women that you really feel have everything you want, so who's fault is that? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 So this is another reason why I am single. I haven't yet found the right woman. The right woman for me would be one who does not want to get married or spend a lot of time together. According to previous posts of yours, you have a terminal illness, and you have a medically-predicted, limited time. Any woman who's going to be going out with you, won't have a lot of time with you, so it's natural they'd want to make sure you're still alive fine.... Wouldn't you want someone you're in love with, to care enough to keep in touch? Given that you've not met anyone yet, and the clock is ticking, how do you propose meeting someone ideal for you....? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I am very much the same as you, man. To be honest, everything you said, I feel the same. I do the same. Men like us don't often find long term relationships, we're not exactly "built" for them. Just keep enjoying the short term casual fun, brother . Link to post Share on other sites
Jane2011 Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I personally wouldn't care to talk to a guy on the phone everyday. Contact, yes. - but I don't care for phone calls. However I will try to find an equal medium depending on the guy I am dating. You can communicate that to the girl. I don't think it doesn't mean you don't want a relationship - I will feel pretty crowded. I'm the same. I don't want to talk to a guy on the phone. I've been with a guy now for two months and have only talked to him on the phone once, and it was for a total of like five minutes (we both said at that point, "Let's talk about this when I get there.") He does text me every day, and I text him. But it's not an all day thing. I like light text contact, but most of our interaction to be in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 One of the reasons I'm hesitant to commit to a relationship is because I don't want my girlfriend calling me everyday. I don't like talking on the phone everyday. If she calls me once or twice a week fine. That's enough to show me she still cares but we don't need to talk everyday. I find that if a woman I'm seeing starts calling me everyday then after 2 weeks I lose interest level in her and want her to go away for a month. That's another reason why I don't like to spend the night at a girlfriend's house for more than 1 night. If we get together over the weekend and we are in a serious relationship and she wants me to stay at her place all weekend I will agree to stay Friday night and most of the day Saturday but I want to be back home in my own place Saturday evening. Ideally I would not even initiate spending the nights together. That's something I would wait for her to initiate. So this is another reason why I am single. I haven't yet found the right woman. The right woman for me would be one who does not want to get married or spend a lot of time together. I'm the same way although I haven't had anything serious with a woman in a long time. But the last few times that I did, these dames wanted to keep me on the phone forever, couldn't stop talking, all the while telling me that I got such a soft, masculine voice, whatever that means . So I'm surely with you on this. Every day phone calls is annoyingly painful and it only gets worse after you sleep with them. It hurts my head thinking about this because the memory of it is already pounding on my skull. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Just because I don't see or talk to someone I like and who likes me, doesn't mean I suddenly forget about him. I like having more space in the beginning and gradually closing the gap over time as we get to know each other. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Exactly According to previous posts of yours, you have a terminal illness, and you have a medically-predicted, limited time. Any woman who's going to be going out with you, won't have a lot of time with you, so it's natural they'd want to make sure you're still alive fine.... Wouldn't you want someone you're in love with, to care enough to keep in touch? Given that you've not met anyone yet, and the clock is ticking, how do you propose meeting someone ideal for you....? Link to post Share on other sites
Celleste Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 One of the reasons I'm hesitant to commit to a relationship is because I don't want my girlfriend calling me everyday. I don't like talking on the phone everyday. If she calls me once or twice a week fine. That's enough to show me she still cares but we don't need to talk everyday. I find that if a woman I'm seeing starts calling me everyday then after 2 weeks I lose interest level in her and want her to go away for a month. That's another reason why I don't like to spend the night at a girlfriend's house for more than 1 night. If we get together over the weekend and we are in a serious relationship and she wants me to stay at her place all weekend I will agree to stay Friday night and most of the day Saturday but I want to be back home in my own place Saturday evening. Ideally I would not even initiate spending the nights together. That's something I would wait for her to initiate. So this is another reason why I am single. I haven't yet found the right woman. The right woman for me would be one who does not want to get married or spend a lot of time together. It's the same with me when it comes to dating men. The want contact EVERY single day. I don't because I like my breathing space. I think this is the main reason as to why I'm still single. Maybe I just haven't met the right person. With the right person I guess i don't mind being smothered with the overloaded attention. But now the thought of spending the whole weekend with an potential boyfriend makes me nauseous. Like you, I wish I could find a less needy person but I doubt we will find it. Link to post Share on other sites
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