Am I overanalyzing?

[b1663r]

Hello all,

 

I am basically 24, in University and has rarely dated or had any relationship. ( i don't count my teenage days of party flings as anything serious at all. they lasted less than 1 month ). I have a heavy work load in school (major if astrophysics and biology) and I am working 2 jobs.

 

Here is the story - I basically had a class which required me to get into groups. There was a girl who was teamed with me and she kept looking and smiling at my direction throughout the discussions and lecture. I might be over-reading but I felt she was just trying to make a connection.

 

I needed to photocopy some textbook stuff so right after class, I asked her if I could. I also promised a "free ride home - as i drove" and also some form of cash to split the cost. She was hesitant, but said okay as we agreed she would also be there when I was photocopying it. She didn't want her books to be smashed or anything. So we agreed to meet 2 days later on the following class.

 

So 2 days later, at the end of the class, I totally forgot I was suppose to do the photocopying, but she waited for me and reminded me. So it was a great. We had loads of things in common and she was very curious about me, in a friendly way. While heading to the prints, she was concerned about the time it would take as she had to go. So I made it fast with the printing but still we kept chatting all the way.

 

Right after the printing, she asked if I was still gonna give her that free lift jokingly and said it wasn't necessary, but I insisted I could since it wasn't out of the way at all. In the car 10% in our journey I asked if she wanted to have some lunch, and we did. Felt really nice, had a good connection and conversations flowed effortlessly. I paid for the meal and insisted to walk her to her apartment, as the car was parked somewhere else.

 

Once at her place, she said she would invite me up but it was too messy. So i quickly changed the subject, cause it wasn't my intention AT ALL. She asked for my number and she said she'd text me.

 

Before I proceed, the reason I wasn't really super forward or expecting anything is because she seems like a person way beyond my league appearance wise! I am a below average looking person and she's probably have guys always hanging around her! Hence my lack of pursuit - but we both were connecting on an intellectual level.

 

So, I received her message the same day of the lunch, print etc. And I decided to balls up and ask to watch a movie with me. I called her and said I had 2-4 movie tickets free! (which I do). But her response was "yeah Sure! But ill check if my friends has any parties on Friday?" This kinda made me confused if she was going to invite her friends along - or check if she was free. The phone reception was bad plus I was overly nervous beyond belief. But the response was positive - a Yes.

 

So to confirm I texted her, casually saying we can catch that movie anytime tomorrow or whenever she likes. And no reply till today yet.

 

So my question after this long explanation is that am I over analyzing? Throughout the night I kept thinking of her! And its really bugging me to have such a "crush" or "infatuation" to some readings that was very positive from a very pretty girl! Also I am assuming that she is single, through conversations she states she was "alone" while her room-mate and boyfriend hangs out.

 

How should I approach this? Just play it cool and get to know her in classes (we have a couple together)and totally ignore it if she doesn't call to watch the movie. Or should i wait till the day ends around 6 usually and give her a call again (today), to check of her confirmation on (yesterday)? Or should i just say hey I like you alot lets date? Hahah! I also do not wish to be in the friend-zone in the longest time and lose this opportunity.

 

Thank you for reading.

I hope the story would explain it. It might seem like a casual crush or anything, but I haven't had much of such experiences and do not know how to read the signs or if I am reading it wrong. I have let many opportunity with relationships pass due to not pursuing it!

 

B1-66er

[C-V-L]

You probably made it seem awkward of forced. Just hang out and let what ever happens, happen. If you guys are together and near a movie theatre with nothing better to do, that's a good time to go.

[b1663r]

Thanks C-V-L,

 

Well alittle update. I manage to get a movie with her, but it was real fast and she did mention before meeting that she had prior activities after 9 with her girlfriends. Though i tried changing the day, she insisted we watch it today. So slotted a timing, picked her up, I was nervous, but solid conversations, with her even mentioning of me taking her to places i mentioned which were good.. and also she said she would pay the next stuff when i insisted ill pay for today... so right after movie sent her home, was awkward pause i didn't do anything, no suggestion of a kiss or anything, though she just said goodbye in a normal fashion.

 

I texted her after saying thanks for the movie. she replied "it was fun ( regarding the movie outing) said good night...

 

so now, its a friday. i dont want to smother her, since we met up 2 days straight! neither do i want to be in the friend ZONE. Though both our course load for universities are really heavy, its possible to see us having conflicting ideas of dating due to it.

 

so rather confused. really like her, don't want to be in the friend zone. I thought the best approach was FRIEND -> GIRLFRIEND. The long process.

 

any advice?

[Teknoe]

Yes.

 

I know it's hard, but stop posting so much about her and asking for play by plays (as I like to call them). A friendship and relationship are natural things. Don't force or overthink it, because that's when it blows up.

 

Good luck.

[b1663r]

i think its over now. hahah.

she texted me what i was up to and mentioned she was sick and needed a nap.

 

i said i can swing by make her some tea since i'm going by near by from work.

got the "thats sweet, but ".. so basically other plans. FRIENDZONE....sucks happens all the time, what am i doing wrong?! I don't even feel like replying to it now...

[Necromancer]

Wrong approach.

 

She'll friend zone YOU if you show no romantic interest in her. I DON'T mean you need to be all over her like a bad habit - that's not what I mean. But if you establish the 'buddy' precedent first, it's going to land you nowhere but in the friend zone real fast.

 

This is why "nice guys" (a/k/a socially awkward, lacking confidence, inexperienced guys) always whine that women date "jerks" and "bad guys" and won't give them a chance. There's a REASON for that. It's because the "jerks" and "bad guys" don't act like inexperienced, shy, clumsy teenagers around them. Instead, they act masculine and confident and women find that attractive. That's why nice guys finish last.

 

Don't pigeon-hole yourself into the 'nice guy' category. It gets you nothing but lots of female friends who want to talk to you about their dating life like you're one of their girlfriends.

 

Nice guys finish last because they are unattractive. There are men who can get away with being jerks and those who can't. women do not like them because of the confidence alone like you make it out to be, take their looks away and all the women will disappear.