Girlfriend acting a bit strange....

[bi78urn]

I’ve got somewhat of a dilema that I am looking to gain some insight to. I am a 32 year old male and currenlty involved with a woman my age who works for the same company I do. We work in two totally different departments…two different floors actually. We are living together and have found something pretty special and we both know it. It’s an amazing feeling to be this in love…this satisfied with someone in your life. I’m a very lucky man in what we have. So what’s the problem? Well…its small really and maybe I shouldn’t sweat it…but here goes. She has just recently, in the past year, completed a divorce. A rather civil one I might add. No kids…neither of us. The issue is this: she is afraid of looking like “that kind of girl” to people at work…like she’s diving into a serious relationship so soon after a divorce. I understand that. She’s worked here a long time, knows a lot of people, and wants to maintain face, but still have me, the love of her life. While this is totally possible and I don’t expect mushy stuff at work…not at all, (I TOO do not want that sort of label for her or for me) she tends to over-compensate and I can’t help but to feel hurt by this. When we go to lunch with other people from work..people that know we are dating even…she tends to almost act like im not there. Makes me feel a bit like a tag-a-long. We have tried to talk about it and she always feels attacked…the conversation is such a negative one and maybe I AM making a bigger deal out of this than I need to. We have each other outside of work and what we have IS wonderful…is she just trying to be professional?...Im not sure. She acts buddy buddy with everyone else but me..she’s very social, as I am too…its almost like she’s scared to look wrong at me or say something weird that would give people the idea that something is up…im not sure. She doesn’t treat me in a mean way at all…nothing like that…just seems as if she is really trying to NOT let on to anyone that she likes me…almos like in high school or something. It’s almost an embarassing thing to people that DO know we are a couple, because then they tend to wonder if we’re having problems, which is always a difficult question to field from concerned friends/aquaintences. Any thoughts?

[Papillon]

I can understand completely why you're upset about the state of affairs, and I think you have every right to be.

 

It's certainly immature, the way she's acting. The sad thing about it is, of course, that her colleagues and friends simply won't give a s*** whatever she does. Everybody is too busy living their own lives to care.

 

The problem is getting her to put this into perspective. If her friends are going to think bad of her for finding happiness, then they're not worth a slug's arse as friends.

 

What would infuriate me, were I in your shoes, is the fact thats she cares more about what others think that what YOU think. Not only is it childish, it's infair to you. What if she finally realised what she did to you, but it was too late? Would losing you be a worthwhile sacrifice just so she can stay in other people's "good graces"? I don't think so.

 

I think she should own up to her commitment to you. If she were committed to you, your happiness would be paramount to her. When people are in love, everything else is supposed to fade out into a gray blur, background noise, as you gaze upon each other, two stars orbiting around each other.

 

If she loves you, she would love to flaunt you. Simple as that.

[FreeMe]

What a prude! This is 2004 and she's worried about that? You'd think this was 1954 by the way she's acting. She's being utterly ridiculous and paranoid. As the poster above also stated she's also being immature and other people probably wouldn't give a s**t - at least not for more than about 5 minutes.

 

I'm sorry she's doing this to you. Good luck trying to convince her to get over it.