How to Build a Good Social Circle

[truth_seeker]

In the Social Circle vs. Cold Approach thread, most think it's best to get dates from knowing people in your social circle.

 

I happen to agree but how does one expand their circle in a positive way? Maybe this is a real stupid question. Is it forcing yourself to participate in things you normally wouldn't do or like, just to meet different kinds of people, or do you join groups that are an extension of your own social circle, which will only attract the same types of people you're used to hanging out with?

[Joaquin]

In my experience trying to connect with people with the sole intention of trying to meet someone will be short lived. I mean, how long are you gonna stay friends with them if they ain't producing a few lays for you.

 

To be honest I had my friends by the time I was out of school and college. I have work colleagues now that come and go but in the main, my friends have been the same for years.

 

So as a guy, I think it's hard to expand a social circle. I suppose joining a sports team could work, but f that.

Edited September 8, 2012 by Joaquin

[counterman]

I gave it a try for half a year... joining different clubs at university, attending different events and just trying to meet new people. Although I made friends, none of them I have seen outside of those clubs or events. The group I was sort of locked into from high school are full of guys who don't socialise much. I wish I had hung more with other people that were more like me and more social.

 

I would recommend trying as many different avenues as possible. Try playing in a sports team. Try actively pursuing your hobbies. But all I can say is that I will keep trying... even though I haven't had much success over the past few years.

[truth_seeker]

I'm in my early 30's so I've lost touch with most friends I had from school. Just ended up taking a different career path, stopped hanging out in the club scene I used to when younger.

 

I've made new friends over the years through social clubs and hobbies. Most though are in relationships and it's tough to go out and meet new people.

 

OLD has been a catastrophic disaster for me. I've met some of the worst women in world. It's no surprise why they are single.

 

I guess the answer is to hang out with more people and go out more to increase the odds of meeting more women.

[Joaquin]

It is hard for sure, and as you get older your buddies that were available to go out, away for weekends etc aren't so available as they get married, have kids.

 

I think people freak out at the thoughts of facing that prospect and often stay in unsatisfying relationships as they know how hard it can be once your over 30s.

 

I would just say never turn down an opportunity to get out and about.

Edited September 8, 2012 by Joaquin

[GravityMan]

In my experience trying to connect with people with the sole intention of trying to meet someone will be short lived. I mean, how long are you gonna stay friends with them if they ain't producing a few lays for you.

 

To be honest I had my friends by the time I was out of school and college. I have work colleagues now that come and go but in the main, my friends have been the same for years.

 

So as a guy, I think it's hard to expand a social circle. I suppose joining a sports team could work, but f that.

 

I agree with this, and think it applies to most people of both genders. It's not hard to meet new people no matter what your age, and become light acquaintances with them...but it is much harder to form real bonds with new people once you finish school. By then, most people already have their social circles. Most of them are also working full-time, and have BF/GFs (or married). Between work, sig other and established inner circle...they don't really feel the need to make new friends; they're satisfied with what they already have.

 

Most real friendships begin while you are young, and grow over time.

 

Meetups, sports teams, etc...are good ways to meet new people, and probably your best bet for folks 25 years old and older. But even then, I suspect it's rare that real connections form from those.