Never met her...found her phone number after four years, should I call?

[brown]

I'm in a very strange situation right now and I need some advice. I hope someone can help.

 

I've just come out of a 5 year relationship and I'm looking to meet new people.

 

I've been attracted to this girl that I last saw about 4 years ago. Here's the situation.

We were both college athletes on different sports teams. I played football...she played soccer.

She's 23 and I'm 24 now. I've always had this odd fascination with her. I'd see her and my

heart would almost collapse. At the time I was dating somebody else, so she was completely

off limits to me. I've never spoken to this girl, so I believe she has no idea who I am. A small

part of me crumbled when this soccer player transferred to a different school. I never saw

her after that. This was the year 2000.

 

It is now 2004 and I have located her phone number. I have the feeling she'll graduate this

spring and I'll never get my chance to meet her. For some reason, I've been drawn to this girl

...and I don't even know her. The desire to dial her number is very strong. I have no

guarantees that a relationship will work between us, but no one can kill me for at least making

the attempt. Life seems just too short these days.

 

My questions are as follows:

 

1) Should I call this girl?

2) Will she find this strange and say "no"?

3) Do girls dig this type of thing and find it flattering?

 

Thanks...any input is appreciated.

[Tony T]

I think you should stop worrying about this and give her a call. The worst thing that can happen is lightening could strike the phone...haha!

 

Most decent women who aren't extremely paranoid would be very flattered to get a call from somebody who had given them great thought over the last four years. Be prepared for her to be married or have a pit bull for a boyfriend but that makes no difference. You won't know until you try. There's also a very excellent chance her phone number has changed so you may have to call information for her current phone number. There's also a good chance that a new number could be unlisted or listed in a roommate's or husband's name. If that's the case, you can use other investigatory means to obtain her number or location. If you tell her all you did to find her, either she'll fall madly in love with you, she'll call the police, or turn the matter over to her boyfriend or husband if applicable.

 

At least call the number you have. If you don't get her, you have my unconditional guarantee that you'll find another lady you'll admirer even more. Hell, this girl you want to call may have real bad breath or you may not like her cologne. There's even a possibility she's in the Federal Witness Protection Program or, worse yet, out on bond awaiting trial on multiple robbery charges.

 

All you have right now is a phone number and a fantasy. Come to think of it, it might just be a great idea to keep things just like they are. That may be as good as it gets!

[brown]

Well, her phone number comes for that University's online campus directory. I hope my attempts don't get me in

trouble. That's the last thing I want.

 

I was just too chicken to talk to her...this may be my only chance. I'm going to try and suggest

to her that we meet in a neutral location in the town she goes to school in.

 

Does anybody have any advice on what I should say to her when I get her on the line?

 

Ladies help me here!

[moimeme]

"Hi. You may not remember me from X school, but you made such a strong impression on me when I first saw you back in 2000 that you have frequently come to mind ever since. I was in a relationship then so meeting you was out of the question but I am free now. You still come to mind often so I thought I'd try calling you to see if you'd be willing to have a (non-threatening daytime date) with me in a (neutral public place). "

[brown]

Is this a consensus feeling that having me actually calling this girl is a good idea.

 

OK girls help me with this one. How would you feel if a secret admirer

called you 4 years after the fact?

 

Thanks.

[moimeme]

Everybody is afraid of stalkers and wierdos. The chore for you is to demonstrate, as well as you can, that you haven't been obsessing about her but rather that you think of her periodically. That you haven't followed her around for the last four years should be helpful, but don't be upset if she declines. Unfortunately, the media has given us all the willies. Heck, you might even want to suggest she bring a friend to your first meeting to further allay her possible fears (that is, if she turns out to be available).

[SoleMate]

1) Should I call this girl?

Yes.

 

2) Will she find this strange and say "no"?

Not necessarily. Depends on how you handle it. As moimeme says, it is important to sound as normal, pleasant, and non-predatory as possible. Start by reminiscing a bit about school, sports, etc. and then ask if she'd like to catch up over coffee..."to update each other on what we've been doing" or something like that.

 

3) Do girls dig this type of thing and find it flattering?

Would you be flattered and intrigued to know that a girl from your past had retained fond memories of you? Of course. And I wouldn't be so sure that she doesn't know who you are.

 

Don't tell her (yet) about how big an effect she had on you back then. Just that you noticed and admired her...athletic ability, say. Do gently imply that you have had a normal and fulfilling life since then that would only be enhanced by getting to know her.

 

Good luck, and you better let us know how this goes.

[clia]

This is just my opinion...

 

1) Should I call this girl?

 

No.

 

2) Will she find this strange and say "no"?

 

I would find it very strange and very creepy to think that some guy who never, ever even spoke to me was calling me now, four years later. Talk about a delayed reaction!

 

3) Do girls dig this type of thing and find it flattering?

 

It might be flattering if you had ever spoken to her. If I got a call like this, I'd be immediately on the phone with my friends going "WTF? Who is this guy? What a weirdo!"

 

I'm just being honest.

[monkey00]

you could say i was in a similar situation.

 

she and i were good friends in J.h.s. and our friendship slowly evaporated through h.s. as we saw less and less of each other, and slowly no more contact. we went to different h.s.'s.

 

i still see her online every so often. but we dont talk to each other. we still have each other's #.

there were times where i wanted to im her, but i didnt. im thinking "why should i sound like i have no life, if im gonna talk to someone out of the blue that i havent talked to in ages.

 

she has a bf, and i think she goes to college in the same city as me. i admit there have been times where i thought about calling her out for coffee, but i didnt. you could say it feels awkward to talk to someone after cutting contact w/them for such a long period of time. YES lots of catching up to do and stuf to talk about.

 

you could say its weird to talk to an old friend, while they have a bf and a good life going.

and you dont have a mate like them, and not as great of a life as them.

 

i'd say that if im ever in the mood, maybe a few yrs from now, ill get in touch.

 

you should do the same too, as long as the person doesnt interpret you calling her as a sign of "liking" only as friends, then there should be no problems

[moimeme]

If I got a call like this, I'd be immediately on the phone with my friends going "WTF? Who is this guy? What a weirdo!"

 

She might think that. Or she might not. It's just a phone call. Were he to turn up on her doorstep or write her a lengthy letter proclaiming undying love, there'd be reason for her to flip. For someone to call and ask politely if they could catch up should not alarm anyone to that extent, particularly if she says no and he leaves the issue alone.

[ladyangel]

I agree with moimeme. What could it hurt to call? You have nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, at least it will provide some closure and you can move on.

[niko1999]

I say, just go for it. If she thinks youre weird, it will be obvious. But you never know until you try:) Good luck

[GiveAndTake]

I think she will be flattered.

 

If she remembers you, you probably made an impression on her as well.

 

Maybe it's me, is that you Phillip? I've been waiting for years for you to call.

 

just kidding : )

 

Wishing you luck.

[brown]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I know personally that I'd be blown away at the whole thing.

 

Just think about it, how could you not be interested in at least looking into someone who feels that way about you? By human nature...if it involves yourself...I'm sure it won't go on deaf ears.

 

I've got to call her soon, and I'm trying to devise a "gameplan" of what to say when I actually do call her. I'm sure the nervousness will be quite hard to overcome. I'll have to down a beer or two in order to relax.

 

According to the University schedule, her school will be spring break soon (March 1-8). She might graduate in late April according to the same schedule. What will be the best time to call her? I'm hoping to finally meet her maybe in mid-March. Should I call her before spring break and give her the whole break to think about my call/offer? Or, should I wait until after her break to make the fateful call?

[moimeme]

Break would be a great time to meet up, methinks. Could you get away to see her next week if she was willing?

[brown]

I've decided that I need to make the call tommorow night...6:30pm

 

I'll ask her what's best...Spring Break around here usually means they'll be away from

the school. There's always the risk that she'll be traveling somewhere else....I'm hoping

she'll stay in the state at least.

[reasontosigh]

That sounds like a good call. You'll find out if she does indeed already have travel plans or not, and even if she does you can plan ahead for getting together after Break.

 

Good luck!

[excited]

tell us what happened if you get the time

[brown]

So I finally called her number.

 

The response was this: "Sorry Wrong Number"

 

 

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH.

 

Now...I've found another number (where her parents live, as well as her two younger sisters). Should I call there?

[moimeme]

That's a little trickier since she may not live there and her parents might not be all that impressed. Can you call her school and ask them to give her a message for you? That's what I did once to look up someone I had met and then lost track of. I wrote a letter to him and one to the school explaining the circumstance and asked them to pass my message on to him. It worked - he called me

 

Did you check for a number on Big Yellow or one of the other Internet phone books?

[brown]

I don't really feel comfortable calling her parents house for obvious reasons. If I call that place during spring break...then she'll probably get the idea that I'm really tracking her down (which...in a sense I am).

 

I'm try the University contact route. Wish me all the luck.

[Azaroth]

I wouldn't call her - I wouldn't want to give off the vibe of being a stalker... that's what she will pick upl

 

but this is another way you can go where it will be ok to call her; if you know where she works go there.... and *BUMP* into her

that's stalkerish but it saves what your image is...

 

 

if you don't know where she works, and etc..

 

don't bother - plenty of fish in the sea dude... I waited 4 years to find the right girl and went through MANY OF THEM!

and i am still waiting to see if she is the RIGHT one....

 

good luck man

 

~Az

[moimeme]

I wouldn't want to give off the vibe of being a stalker... that's what she will pick upl

 

One call in four years can't really be thought of as 'stalking'.

[SoleMate]

I don't really feel comfortable calling her parents house for obvious reasons.

Hunnhhh???

 

You're just planning to chat with her, not molest her, right? Why on earth can't you call her parents' house? She may even be there if it is vacation time.

[Captain Nemo]

Originally posted by brown

So I finally called her number.

 

The response was this: "Sorry Wrong Number"

 

 

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH.

 

Now...I've found another number (where her parents live, as well as her two younger sisters). Should I call there?

 

Where are you getting all these numbers? Regardless of how this turns out, you definately have a bright career as a private investigator.

 

Capt. Nemo