Jump to content

Best friend who has never dated?


Desinova

Recommended Posts

My best friend will be turning 35 years old and has never had a serious relationships. He has had a few dates sporadically which went no where.

 

I feel he is very far away from attracting a girl (hopefully I am wrong).

 

Couple of major problems -

- He over weight, always has been. 5'10" weight is around 280, it has fluctuated between 260 and 300. He is trying to lose weight but, I don't feel comfortable talking about his weight to him as I know it is a very sensitive issue. Also, I think losing weight for him is going to be a long term (1 year?) process so should he wait until he has lost weight before trying to date or should he start now?

 

- Deep seeded dislike of women. It doesn't manifest itself in everyday life but comes out in social settings when he is drinking. Often if we are in a group and pretty girl will say something flaky or stupid he will call her out and make fun of her in a rude way. I think this is him rejecting them before they have a chance to reject him. I have talked to him about this, but he will often say inappropriate things and always to attractive women who are potential dates. He is never inappropriate with female friends or GFs of friends.

 

- 0 confidence with women. He hasn't had any positive experiences with women so you can understand why he doesn't have any confidence. How to build it up?

 

- Acne scarring on both his cheeks and some on his forehead. Is there anything that can be done about this? Is this a huge deal, can women over look it? Should he see a plastic surgeon?

 

Things that are positives

- Good guy, good heart, intelligent, funny. Women almost never see this from him because they don't spend time enough time to get to know him.

 

- Very wealthy though, he does a good job of hiding it from everybody except his good friends.

 

- Educated and stable job

 

- Very friendly with good family and friends support system.

 

So what should our plan of attack be? I know weight loss is a priority, but that is going to be an ongoing struggle for him.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If it makes him feel any better...

 

1) i have friends in the same boat the same age who are not overweight or bitterly sour and repulsive in personality

 

2) i am about the same age and i would almost certainly be in the same boat if i wasnt out there being aggressive.

 

Youre a good pal. You cant do much about the weight loss except hint at it. What you can do is tell him he needs to be aggressive and go through numbers if he doesnt want to die a virgin. You can also get him out to meet women.

 

My best friend did the latter for me. He is better looking and more social and popular and he took me everywhere and tried to introduce me to girls all the time. They never went for it but just being out with him imoroved my confidence and social skills. I owe that dude a lot...

Link to post
Share on other sites

My friend is 27 -- virgin no bf no dating. Just very shy introverted, jobless & lives at home.

 

Sign your friend up.on a dating site?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
If it makes him feel any better...

 

1) i have friends in the same boat the same age who are not overweight or bitterly sour and repulsive in personality

 

2) i am about the same age and i would almost certainly be in the same boat if i wasnt out there being aggressive.

 

Youre a good pal. You cant do much about the weight loss except hint at it. What you can do is tell him he needs to be aggressive and go through numbers if he doesnt want to die a virgin. You can also get him out to meet women.

 

My best friend did the latter for me. He is better looking and more social and popular and he took me everywhere and tried to introduce me to girls all the time. They never went for it but just being out with him imoroved my confidence and social skills. I owe that dude a lot...

 

I think that is also a positive for him. He is always up for going out to bars or where ever. He is also pretty friendly, however it never materializes into anything with women?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Im in the same boat except im 32 and not overweight

 

I think after ahwile you just get used to beign single and its what your used to your comfort zone and the idea of trying to attract a women is a foreign concept to you if you lived that long without attracting a women and you become apathetic to everything

 

I also am just like him in that im a lot more comfortable with women in my social circle,my friends wives love me call me a sweetheart etc but when im around single women i just freeze and dont show them my true personality i become so fearful to open up or try probably from fear of rejection

 

I think when you reach your 30's like your freind me and others and have had zero validation or interest from women its impossible to gain confidence when you know you are not attractive to the opposite sex all those years

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...