Katusha209 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Okay, this is a long story and i'm sorry but i really need some advice on what to do.. Me and this guy were really close for about 4 years. He told me he liked me about half a year into our friendship but i just got over a guy, which he helped me get through, and i just didn't want to get into a relationship at the time. I guess I ended up sticking him in the friend zone (i know, im terrible), but even though i did that, he dealt with it for 3 years. He was always such a sweetheart to me through everything, all the hard times. I could talk to him about anything. For a while after he confessed, our relationship was really rocky... neither of us actually dated anyone, but i was heartlessly playing cupid and setting him up with girls who really liked him. He always got mad at me for it. He said its pointless since he likes me. I didn't know what to do. i loved our relationship as it was.. that changed after he started growing and maturing. he started getting a bunch of girl attention and it drove me crazy.. i was so used to having him all to myself, the thought of losing him it scared me to death! Like the idiot that i am, i realized only then that i didn't want to date anyone cause he already filled the spot perfectly. He loved me through all the stuff i put him through so i thought this guy is something different. I ended up confessing to him one night... I asked him a hundred times if he was sure he wanted to date. He said yeah without even thinking. so i thought he was sure. after about a month of dating, i started getting discouraged since he had girl friend that that could just hug him in front of everyone and flirt with him. He said she's like a sister to him, but it always bothered me. he actually liked this girl when he was before we were friends, but she rejected him. so You can see why it bothered me. One day,after a huge youth church conference, he acted totally normal. He acted all snuggly on the ride home that day. The next day was a different story, he had a completely different atmosphere. He said he felt like he puts me first before God so he isn't mature enough for a relationship right now. he said he wants to build a relationship with God first.. he broke up with me. I was shocked.. after all that, NOW he realizes he isn't ready for a relationship? I told him we were young and immature for two years straight and he figures that after i open up to him? About two weeks later, two days after Valentines day, he wants to get back together. he apologized and i still loved him so i said okay. he ended up breaking up with me two days after that! I was so mad i just told him nothing will happen between us again. I was angry for about a week, but then i just became really depressed because i miss him...* We never talked after the last breakup. We just saw each other almost everyday at church or school, but avoided eye contact. He still maintains his friendly relationships with the girl so i always saw him hanging out with her and leaving church together. It was killing me inside since i thought he said he still loved me, yet he acted like that. After about 3 months, the tension got a little better and we could actually say hi and bye at church to each other, but he still avoided eye contact when possible. Later that month, he texted me and asked why does it have to be so awkward between us. i said he started it by avoiding eye contact. He admitted it and he said it was because he knows his feelings and he can easily get lost in the moment. so he still has feelings apparently.. and that just caught me on the hook again of loving him again just when i thought i was getting over it... It's been about half a year since we broke up and i think he's over me... I'm way to afraid to ask cause it might create tension again and i REALLY don't want that, but the fact that i don't know isn't helping me move on. Link to post Share on other sites
amantis Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 The only closure you need is the fact that he broke 2 times with you and said that he wants to build a relationship with God first.. ???? What a bunch of BS , he doesnt want to be with you , he likes the other girl . If i were you i would start no contact with him for a very long time . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Katusha209 Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 i guess your right... if he really liked me he would at least not do it in front of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 You treated him like sh*t when he was nice to you...he has wised up and is returning the favor. You will excuse me if I don't feel particularly sorry for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) You treated him like sh*t when he was nice to you...he has wised up and is returning the favor. You will excuse me if I don't feel particularly sorry for you. I agree. He knows now that he has other options. He can find someone who doesn't take three years to realize that she wants him. You didn't really want him until you noticed that other girls did. Before, you were not attracted to him "like that" because you didn't perceive him as valuable. Other women paying attention to him is what increased his "value" and his appeal to you. From his perspective, that's pretty messed up. Three years of care, concern, helping you through breakups, confessing his feelings....and now you want him? Although he may still love you and is attracted to you, he is smart enough to see that you are a risk and is protecting his heart. Edited June 21, 2012 by Quiet Storm Link to post Share on other sites
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