SJC2008 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I emailed a woman and she replied 5 days later. How would you take it men?? Should I bother?? Link to post Share on other sites
ivalm Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I emailed a woman and she replied 5 days later. How would you take it men?? Should I bother?? How desperate are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SJC2008 Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 lol I wouldn't call myself desperate, I have standards. My gut tells me she wasn't interested at first and her "options" fell through so now she's emailing me. Sounds legit right? Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 (edited) What does it matter when she replied? This place might as well be called complain shack. Guys complain when they don't get a reply; you complain when you get one. >_< Anyway for all you know she may have been busy. Who cares if her prospects fell threw. Take your chance ... Good luck Edited May 22, 2012 by SmileFace 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I emailed a woman and she replied 5 days later. How would you take it men?? Should I bother?? 5 days? That's nothing. I got an email on an OLD site from a girl weeks later. Remember: she doesn't know you, you don't her. Don't take it personally. Link to post Share on other sites
unevenXchange Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Come on. If you 2 don't know each other then there's really no big deal. What if you were in a relationship with her and the response was 5 days later or longer? You're not desperate for responding to her... she probably WAS busy... with life ...go for it and please learn to ignore people who try to make you feel bad about what your heart or gut tells you. You obviously want to contact her or else you wouldn't be here in loveshack. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Was she apologetic? Interested? Just being polite by replying? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SJC2008 Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Was she apologetic? Interested? Just being polite by replying? No she laughed (in a good way) at my email and said hi, and asked me what my OLD exp has been like. A 5 day response just tells me she wasn't really interested, and she's been active every day bc when I check my views it shows their activity date. OTOH, the leady that flaked on me responded the next day and gave me her # on the 3rd email. What's your average response time Fit Chick? Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 It's taken me longer than that at times, to respond. Sometimes it's shyness, sometimes I've just been distracted, or I didn't know that I had messages waiting for me. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 What does it matter when she replied? This place might as well be called complain shack. Guys complain when they don't get a reply; you complain when you get one. >_< Anyway for all you know she may have been busy. Who cares if her prospects fell threw. Take your chance ... Good luck Quoted for truth..... Don't read so much into it SJC. Replying back to her doesn't imply that your desperate. Besides, you could end up missing out on meeting a great lady all because she didn't reply fast enough. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 What's your average response time Fit Chick? It depends. If I really like the guy or really dislike him, it's easy to give a thumbs up or thumbs down within a day or two. It's the ones I am not quite sure about that take longer, so maybe you are on her Maybe list. She hasn't rejected you outright so you have a chance to dazzle her with your winning personality. You have nothing to lose by going for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I would pass. I actually got a response a whole MONTH later and the guy was full force ahead, asking to get together for dinner (OLD). I never responded. His other options probably fell through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Go for it. Perhaps had already met a guy doesn't like multi-dating, so she didn't want to bother talking to anyone else. Then she decided he was a waste of time, so comes back online and writes to you instead. Would that still count as not interested? Would it still hurt your pride to write back then? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Once I messaged this guy on OKC. He responded right away that he is not interested. Two weeks later, I get a long message from him how he was grumpy and on pain mess when he wrote that he wasn't interested and how he is in fact interested. I didn't bother to reply. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 It's OLD you are always going to be somebody's option initially. Just get over it -- it's all about chance. Do you really want to lower the percentage of chance in OLD? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 In this day and age, people always want instant gratification. "In my day" we were always advised to take it slow... and all we had was landlines and snail-mail... now, because communication is faster, people automatically believe our responses have to be just as fast, when in fact, human personality and psyche can't always keep up or work as fast. And in fact, why should it? Is it really an advantage to be quick on the draw, shoot from the hip and give in to the knee-jerk impulsive instinct? I don't believe it is.... not always. At times, it's appropriate. With a high-speed train bearing down on you at 125mph, it's best to not casually stroll off the line..... but when it comes to opening your heart and letting in a potential suitor, you think I'm going to fling myself into his arms wearing nothing but a feather-trimmed see-thru negligee, when all he's done is to tentatively tap at my door? I don't think so. Taking time is a precious, rare and treasurable commodity. nowadays, I would say it's even a luxury. Speed-dating schmeed-dating. Why not enjoy the slowness and tentative approach....? Or date a cheetah. They go from 'slow to woah!' in 7 seconds.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 SJC, her emailing responding to you 5 days later just mean her other options fell through. From what I've learned, women hate it when guys reply too late. I know damn well if a guy responded to a woman's message 5 days later she'd be pissed. That's unless you put in the reasonable excuse, "I haven't checked my email til now." But, then again, why give me your email address if you're not going to be big on checking it. My advice: date her for sex. Once you have that then leave. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 I have mixed feelings about it. I know that I generally don't respond to a guy that hasn't responded reasonably quickly, as I assume he's got other irons in the fire. However, I do think that the general practice for online dating has been reduced to a long set of rigid rules and commandments and it's a wonder that anyone ever gets to the first date, much less a relationship. I dated 2 guys that gave me their number without asking me for mine. It took me about a month to call either of them. I was a little insulted at the notion that I should pursue. But I did like them both (I'm sure they're not the only guys who've done it, they're the only guys I gave up my rigid policy to do it.) I ended up in a 3 year relationship with the first and he was an amazing guy. Glad neither he nor I got too hung up on the commandments. The second guy was also miffed, but gave me a chance. I think generally people don't know what they want and online dating has so many options that you can delude yourself into thinking that a photo and a nice profile are what you're looking for. But you have no idea until you meet and get to know each other. That takes time. People only have a limited amount of time to work with and when they see it's not going somewhere with one potential, they move onto the next. It's a numbers game. I'd apply the rules more to someone who you've actually been dating for a short period who dropped the ball than on someone you haven't met yet. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 5 days shouldn't deter you, the people you want from OLD have lives outside the site. You don't know the circumstances, get her out and see if there is potential. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 Thanks yall, I thought about it but decided not to. There are a million reasons for her not to reply within a few days but 5? The girl from the "shy" thread replied 3 days later and I'm still working her for a date. We've been texting, I told her I can call her but she texts so I've been texting her and she finally suggested we talk on the phone today so I'll call her tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
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