Overthinking things? not sure

[mark7708]

Hey I really need someone else's opinion on this I just hope I'm being silly and overthinking things the real questions at the bottom, this is mostly how we met and what we've done

 

Okay so it all starts with this girl, one of our friends introduced us (we both play guitar and had a little jam) then my friend give me her number and says go on flirt a little after he took her home. So I did and we ended up going to the pictures

 

Few dates later like resteraunt meals movies etc... We kissed, held hands, and we made out in hers, then one day she says would you like to come round mine for a drink, I couldn't as I would have to drive home, then she said why don't you stop over so I did, she invited her cousins to sleep too, they slept in the other beds and we slept in her parents bed, then I got asked to stop over again this time we slept in her bed (her parents were away that weekend)

 

Then I ask her if we could be exclusive she says she wants too but doesn't want to right now and asks if I'm okay with taking it slow, I was okay I didn't want to push her into anything

 

So a few dates go by, then Monday this week I go round hers to watch a film and I notice that she got a text I'm assuming is some dude saying "so do you ever go out during the week? I love the town on Wednesdays x" the name was solo performer (she's at college doing music and has to do a solo performance that's what I'm guessing the name came from) then Tuesday we text but she seems distant as if she's lost interest in me

 

Anyway we arrange to go out for a meal on Wednesday and have a few resteraunt in mind. 15mins before I was about to leave she says that she's really not in the mood for a resteraunt, so I say okay what would you like to do instead, what have you got in mind she said, I list a few things we could do and she sends me this "Am not really ready I've just stoke me joggers on and me mam wants me to do her hair don't really have tome to get ready lol x" so I suggest taking a movie round hers she says that sounded good (I felt like I badgered her into it) any way I go round watch the film and after we just lie there I was stroking her hair then we start making out, I rubbed my hand gently on her as then put my hand under her pants and she started grinding her hips after 5mins I take my hand and start rubbing her "lady parts" through her trousers she had on I go to put my hands between her pants and trousers but she pulled my hand away then spread her legs and started grinding on my "guy parts" then we stop we kiss goodnight and I drive home

 

Okay so my question may sound silly after the last paragraph but I'm not sure if she even wants to take this to the next level, I mean yes that night she did let me do stuff but the way she's been texting latly it seems like she's quite distant like she always says text me when you get in the last few times I text and don't get a reply like I used to even the next day saying sorry I fell asleep, and the fact that she been texting another guy (I don't mind her having guy friends but don't like it when they flirt) I hate the fact that she seems to be slipping slowly away from me

 

Should I ask her to be exclusive again? she did say wait a few weeks and it's been about 2 and a half but I don't want another just wait a little longer :/

 

I can't really bring up solo performer guy because we were spooning and caught a glimpse of the screen when she looked and I don't want to come off jealous

 

What should I do? Am I just over thinking this guy texting her? Should I talk to her about how I feel like she seems to becoming distant

 

I mean I've written her a few riffs to help with college, bought her James Morrison tickets (the concerts in 2 months)

 

If you read all of that I would just like to say sorry for the length of the thing I kind of got carried away

Thank you in advance

[trist]

it's simple really... she has a LOW interest level in you... first off, why are you bending over backwards for her already, writting riffs, buying concert tickets and whatnot??!! she told you she wants to take it slow, your bribes (gifts) should come slow as well... you're making it too easy for her, there's no excitement... she knows she's got you wrapped around her pinky...

 

soloperformer?? he's probably doing everything you're supposed to be doing... and i bet he hasn't bought her anything...

 

back off, take it slow like she suggested and don't seem so eager and needy... you did the right thing by not bringing up that you are jealous... she probably would've bailed on your had you done that...

[mark7708]

Thankyou for your reply, the riffs weren't that big I did them in a few minutes but I know where your coming from ill slow it down a bit

[amantis]

If i were you i would stop sending sms to her and buying stuff for her .

The thing is , if you are after her all the time she doesnt have time to miss you , she have to miss you so you feel that she is giving you atention .

 

Maybe she likes the other guys , maybe not , but the more atention you give her the less she wants to see you , and you feel like **** when you send 5 sms and she doesnt reply .

[mark7708]

Thanks man I'm going to give her some time to miss me, and hopefully it's not too late to start

and she did seem really bummed that she didn't get to buy James Morrison tickets as it sold out and I just happened knew my mate was selling 2 for the normal ticket price so I thought I'd scoop em up.

 

There's another girl that's kind of into me do you think I should take her out a few times? It's just if things do work out with Sarah I don't want to be a d**k to the other girl

[amantis]

In my opinion go after the other girl too .

One thing that i know is they do the same .

Keep your options open and go for it .

 

In the end you can choose one of them , but please , if you go out with her , dont go just because the first one isnt giving you atention ..

Dont play with them , see who you like the most and make a decision .

[mark7708]

Thanks man I just didn't want to seem like a d**k and date a few girls at the same time

and just a point to add she even suggested spending a weekend away together thats the main thing that confused me she was into it all and she just seems that now she's slowly slipping away and ever since I saw that text.

[mark7708]

so i havent contacted her since last night saying i was home and that i had a good night, then i get a call from her mams phone just after i finished work its her (her credit ran out on her phone) she's just asked me to go out to dinner with her, i took it as a good sign at first but now im just thinking what if i get the lets just be friends speech :/

[trist]

dude, you're over analyzing things again... stop thinking, just enjoy the moment, you can't control anything...

 

and lets me realistic here... what girl feels the dying need to give you the "lets be friends" speech, and is going to call you from her MOM'S phone to make plans with you?? lets be friends speech can wait until she gets more credits, it's not a need...

 

take it as a good sign that she took the extra effort and time to get a hold of you... seriously, just take a step back, breathe and stop dissecting every step this girl takes... you're going to kill EVERY relationship before one even starts... THIS is why you think she's going to put you in the friend zone... you lack the confidence my friend...