fortyninethousand322 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 In going back to online dating sites these last few days I’ve noticed something peculiar. Almost all the women have skewed age ranges favoring older men. Not “older” as in massively older, but hardly any had skewed younger. I’m 24, so my preferred age range is 21-26. I would be open to dating women between 18-30, but if I had to choose between an older woman and a younger one, I’d go with the older one. But what I’ve noticed is that many of the women just a few years older than me listed that they did not prefer younger men. Even women my age or younger wanted men older than me (one listed that she was interested in men 26-35). So, what does everyone here think? How important is age to you? Are you open to wide age range, or a very narrow one? Or is it just a matter of online dating being weird? Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I'm more interested in men around my own age, maybe a few years each way. I skewed mine younger for that reason, hoping to cut down on the 45 - 55 year old men contacting me. Unfortunately, it was mostly men outside of my age range, that wanted to meet me, both younger and older. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I think women are often told that they should date older, because those men will be ready for commitment and marriage sooner than younger men. I personally stay far away from younger men, because I assume they just want to have fun. My age range is probably about 25-30. (I am 26.) Still, on a wider scale, it looks like men are a lot more guilty of looking for younger partners than women are looking for older partners: The Case For An Older Woman « OkTrends As you can see, a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women. Meanwhile his upper acceptable limit hovers only a token amount above his own age. a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger womenThe median 31 year-old guy, for example, sets his allowable match age range from 22 to 35—nine years younger, but only four years older, than himself. This skewed mindset worsens with age; the median 42 year-old will accept a woman up to fifteen years younger, but no more than three years older. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Open to dating:20 to 30 Prefer to date:22 to 24 Im 25 Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 When I was 24, I would've dated anyone from 21-30, with the caveat they had to have graduated college. I never would've gone under 21 after I reached 21 (but I'd already graduated by then--graduated at 20). I wouldn't have REALLY been comfortable with 21 or 22 unless they were very mature, because I'd been working FT for 5 years by then, but it wasn't an age thing -- just didn't meet men in that age range who were already stabilized. I think the issue of your life not being quite stable (you don't quite know what you want to do yet, job, etc) is more of a hindrance than your age, FWIW. I was 26 when I met hubby, and I dated some guys younger than me by a few years during the last period I was single. Hubby is 3 years older than me. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 35-45 (I'm 43) I don't mind older as long as they are young at heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 As a 28 year old guy, my preferred age range is around 23-28. I will go a bit higher or lower if I like someone enough, but that age range is what I'd prefer. OP, at 24 you'll seriously struggle to find many girls in their mid twenties or later willing to take you seriously. Normally by the time they get to that age they have little faith in the maturity level of a guy your age, unfairly or not. On the other hand, you'll find plenty of 18-19 year olds who will happily date someone your age, so it's not a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Oh, and most men seemed to skew their age ranges towards the younger - much younger, and add in two or three years over their own (except for the one who lowered his age by three years - his top acceptable age is his own real age). On Plenty of Fish, I saw a 32 year old good-looking man, in a photograph he'd posed for, admitting he was losing his looks, but making a case for himself with the younger ladies, telling them that in a couple of years he would be what they were looking for, so why not give him a chance now? He also was kind enough to tell us older ladies that he might go for us, too - we never know. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I think women are often told that they should date older, because those men will be ready for commitment and marriage sooner than younger men. I personally stay far away from younger men, because I assume they just want to have fun. My age range is probably about 25-30. (I am 26.) Still, on a wider scale, it looks like men are a lot more guilty of looking for younger partners than women are looking for older partners: The Case For An Older Woman « OkTrends As you can see, a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women. Meanwhile his upper acceptable limit hovers only a token amount above his own age. a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger womenThe median 31 year-old guy, for example, sets his allowable match age range from 22 to 35—nine years younger, but only four years older, than himself. This skewed mindset worsens with age; the median 42 year-old will accept a woman up to fifteen years younger, but no more than three years older. Yep, this is what I was getting at. A man of 38, has his lowest age as 22, and the oldest as 40. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 I'm not trying to say this is a male vs female thing. I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are about it and reporting what I've seen. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 OP, at 24 you'll seriously struggle to find many girls in their mid twenties or later willing to take you seriously. Normally by the time they get to that age they have little faith in the maturity level of a guy your age, unfairly or not. So untrue in my experience. A lot of girls in their mid 20s like to party and party hard. Most of them have no problems dating a guy the same age. They'd pick a guy who can party and is exciting over maturity any day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 When I was 24, I would've dated anyone from 21-30, with the caveat they had to have graduated college. I never would've gone under 21 after I reached 21 (but I'd already graduated by then--graduated at 20). I wouldn't have REALLY been comfortable with 21 or 22 unless they were very mature, because I'd been working FT for 5 years by then, but it wasn't an age thing -- just didn't meet men in that age range who were already stabilized. I think the issue of your life not being quite stable (you don't quite know what you want to do yet, job, etc) is more of a hindrance than your age, FWIW. I was 26 when I met hubby, and I dated some guys younger than me by a few years during the last period I was single. Hubby is 3 years older than me. Yeah I'm not saying age is holding me back (maybe it is maybe it isn't, but that's not what I'm talking about here) I'm just saying this is what I saw on Okcupid and POF, and wondering how reflective it was of the rest of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I'm not trying to say this is a male vs female thing. I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are about it and reporting what I've seen. As long as she's over 18 I'm green. I like women around 25-30 to be honest, but I admit to liking a few girls around 18-21 currently. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 +/- 5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 16-75. I am an equal opportunity lecher. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 When I did online dating I listed +/- 5 years as my preferred range. But I got emails from guys as old as their 60s. (I was 35). For a while I got a bit sour about the age thing, I admit. Just a couple of years earlier, when I was 33 and had previously tried online dating, most of the guys who messaged me were within about 10 years of my age (almost always older than me though). Nobody older than 45. But something happens when women doing OLD hit the magical age of 35; much older men seemed to feel that 35 is perfectly reasonable as the desired lower age limit. I don't know what it is about 35. Odd. Anyway, it's interesting to hear about it from the other side, because I believe you that it isn't just one gender - I just hadn't realized that that many women would look specifically for older men. But I guess it completes the circle! Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 When I did online dating I listed +/- 5 years as my preferred range. But I got emails from guys as old as their 60s. (I was 35). For a while I got a bit sour about the age thing, I admit. Just a couple of years earlier, when I was 33 and had previously tried online dating, most of the guys who messaged me were within about 10 years of my age (almost always older than me though). Nobody older than 45. But something happens when women doing OLD hit the magical age of 35; much older men seemed to feel that 35 is perfectly reasonable as the desired lower age limit. I don't know what it is about 35. Odd. Anyway, it's interesting to hear about it from the other side, because I believe you that it isn't just one gender - I just hadn't realized that that many women would look specifically for older men. But I guess it completes the circle! Yeah, my friends have specifically said I should be aiming for guys 35-40. Their thinking is those guys are the most ready for families, and also have fewer choices, so would be more willing to give me a shot. So women date up in age for babies and a ring, and men date down in age for hotter girls/more choices. Is sad all the way around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Yeah, my friends have specifically said I should be aiming for guys 35-40. Their thinking is those guys are the most ready for families, and also have fewer choices, so would be more willing to give me a shot. So women date up in age for babies and a ring, and men date down in age for hotter girls/more choices. Is sad all the way around. Is that really how it works? One of the girls I saw was 23 and said she was looking for guys aged 25-35. I mean she's only 23 for crying out loud, she's already looking to get married and have kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 When I was 24, my preferred age range was 25-30. I'm now 33, and am open to 30-42. My SO is almost 32. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Is that really how it works? One of the girls I saw was 23 and said she was looking for guys aged 25-35. I mean she's only 23 for crying out loud, she's already looking to get married and have kids? Maybe not looking for kids and marriage at this very moment, but when you look at the time table of relationships it makes sense. 1 year to get to know each other, 1 year to get engaged, 1 year for child-free marriage. At that point, you're getting married between 25-26, and getting on having kids around 28-30. Pretty ideal; it's how I was always hoping my time line would play out, since 30 is apparently the starting point of the slide downward. Link to post Share on other sites
setsenia Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I'm almost 23, I could go up to 10 years max. My H is 28, perfect for me. If I was dating, even 30 would be optimal. I've skipped the whole clubbing and partying stage and once I finish college next year, I want to travel, start my career and then consider having a family. A lot of men my age are still pretty immature. I need someone who's on the same level. Link to post Share on other sites
setsenia Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Is that really how it works? One of the girls I saw was 23 and said she was looking for guys aged 25-35. I mean she's only 23 for crying out loud, she's already looking to get married and have kids? You'd be surprised at how many people at 23 I know who already have not one, but two kids, not even married. Of course, a lot of them are living off WIC and food stamps. Think I mentioned that in the political thread, LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I met my husband when I was 26 and he was 31. He was definitely the oldest guy I'd ever dated. My ex was 3 years older than me and I thought he was SO OLD when I was 21 and he was 24! Then he turned 25 four days before I turned 22, and let me tell you.... I acted like he was a dinosaur! I think 25 was kinda the magic age for me when I no longer looked at somebody a few years older than me like they were totally ancient. Still, I wouldn't be interested in dating somebody very much older than me. I'd say 5-6 yrs older is my upper range, and maybe 1-2 yrs younger is my lower. 2-3 yrs older would probably be ideal. Sometimes I think about the stat that men die first and my H is already 5 years older than me... gah. serial muse, that's crazy about guys in their 60s messaging you at 35. Wow! It doesn't surprise me.... a lot of guys think they are entitled to a much younger woman.... but it kinda depresses me.. My BFF's boyfriend is 6 or 7 yrs older than her. She's 26 and he's 32, which is fine now, but they started dating when she was 17 and he was 24. I thought he was a total creep back then. IMO age differences depend on what stages of life you're at. A guy in his mid-20s should NOT be dating a freakin high school girl. But a mid-20s girl dating an early to mid-30s guy seems normal & fine. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Yeah I'm not saying age is holding me back (maybe it is maybe it isn't, but that's not what I'm talking about here) I'm just saying this is what I saw on Okcupid and POF, and wondering how reflective it was of the rest of the world. Ah, sorry to make it too much about you then. I misunderstood your purpose. My apologies. I think it's reflective of OLD, but not as much of life. FWIW. Hard to tell exact age to that degree in life. When I did online dating I listed +/- 5 years as my preferred range. But I got emails from guys as old as their 60s. (I was 35). For a while I got a bit sour about the age thing, I admit. Just a couple of years earlier, when I was 33 and had previously tried online dating, most of the guys who messaged me were within about 10 years of my age (almost always older than me though). Nobody older than 45. I am still in my 20s, and when I was on OLD, I got plenty of men WAY out of my listed age range (40s, 50s, 60 -- and 50s and 60s weren't unusual). They may not have been a large percentage of the men who messaged me but not a week went by without someone 20 years older than me writing me despite my profile saying, "Sorry, but I will not respond to anyone outside of the age range specified on OKC. I really mean what I say in those!" because I felt rude just ignoring one to several men per week but there was no use replying with, "You're too old for me." Tried that a few times and the men were always like, "But I'm young at heart," or "Let's just go on a date and see" or whatnot. Very frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Is that really how it works? One of the girls I saw was 23 and said she was looking for guys aged 25-35. I mean she's only 23 for crying out loud, she's already looking to get married and have kids? Depends on the girl. Where I live (NY) most chicks arent looking to settle down until they hit their late 20s. As a 28 year old guy, my preferred age range is around 23-28. I will go a bit higher or lower if I like someone enough, but that age range is what I'd prefer. OP, at 24 you'll seriously struggle to find many girls in their mid twenties or later willing to take you seriously. Normally by the time they get to that age they have little faith in the maturity level of a guy your age, unfairly or not. On the other hand, you'll find plenty of 18-19 year olds who will happily date someone your age, so it's not a problem. Untrue in my experience. Loads of girls around my age (early to mid 20s) are damn immature and just wanna party. So untrue in my experience. A lot of girls in their mid 20s like to party and party hard. Most of them have no problems dating a guy the same age. They'd pick a guy who can party and is exciting over maturity any day. This. Yeah, my friends have specifically said I should be aiming for guys 35-40. Their thinking is those guys are the most ready for families, and also have fewer choices, so would be more willing to give me a shot. So women date up in age for babies and a ring, and men date down in age for hotter girls/more choices. Is sad all the way around. Wrong...plenty of guys are down for babies and a ring. A guy whos 35 will be more privy to a 30 yr old woman than a 35 yr old woman...why? The 30 year old woman is not as feisty about her biological clock. She has more time to conceive. Hence she will let the relationship move along naturally and not force a marriage or rush things just for the sake of having a child. Guys know about all this...we hear women speak...we see threads on this very site where some women are in a rush. Last thing we want to do is settle down with the wrong woman all because things got rushed. We want to take our time and be sure of everything. Sadly for women of a certain age, she doesnt have too much time to wait if she doesnt want to have issues getting pregnant. Edited March 23, 2012 by kaylan Link to post Share on other sites
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