Degrees: Deal breaker?

[Leigh 87]

Why is a college degree indicative that a person is intelligent enough, to meet your needs in a partner?

 

I think it is snobby... the people who assume those with no degree, lack substance and do not like learning or reading, as much as a degree orientated person.

 

I know that studying for a degree full time for about 4 years, shows that a person has the discipline to sit down and study non stop and take in a large volume of information.

 

My problem is, I know of people who are intelligent enough to GET a college degree, but they choose not to, in favour of another career that is more meaningful to them. One of my friends is very busy with their own business. THEY could easily obtain a degree, however, it is not their style. They run a sucessful business, and are nto the type who fare well with sit down study for years at a time.

 

 

I am an example. I want to be a personal trainer, as my first career. The reasons being, I was ill with a mental disorder for all of my early 20's, and once I got better, I wanted to earn a living ASAP, rather then go back to Uni ( or college as it is known in the USA?) and study my life away for 4 years.

 

Personal training enables me to earn the same wage as a degree job, with more flexible hours. Most importantly, it is the career I am the most passionate about. Lastly, I want to ease my way into normal life after a mental disorder, rather than throw myself into full time study.

 

 

I plan to go to Uni and get my degree when I have found success in this career, and want to enhance it with an exercise science or food science degree. That is my set plan. I got high distinctions to get INTO Uni, and my marks are valid for about 6 more years. Plenty of time for me to go back to Uni.

 

Due to my age, I just want to have time to work and party/socialise ( I never got to party or do these things I love to do because I was SICK). I like to workout and relax, while earning a living; studying full time does not allow me to live out the rest of my 20's in the way in which I want.

 

My preference is to earn a living for 4 - 5 years, so when I DO go to get my degree, I have MONEY saved up, so I can work my butt off on week days, and actually have money to do fun things on the weekends with.

 

I like to work hard and party harder. I will grow out of it, but it is very much who I am right now. If I save money, I can work hard, and have MONEY to party, go on road trips, fo to museams, fo to the zoo, go rock climbing and I also want to try extreme sports for fitness, like hard rock climing and water sports.

 

 

My career path will best work for me, for my own reasons. So, why is it that not having a degree makes me not capable of having an intellignt conversation?

 

Why does not having a degree make me less enthusiastic about learning? I LOVE learning. In my spare time, my favourite things to do are: watch discovery channel, watch documentaries, read a lot of books ( non fiction, I like educational material). Among other things. I also love to learn from people here on LOVE SHACK - I love the fact I seam to have slightly more insight into relationships than others I Know who do not utilize the experiences of others as much as I do.

 

 

To me, a degree only means a person has the perseverance and discipline to work very hard for a number of years. YES - I REALLY do admire people with degrees for this reason.

 

I really respect people who work hard and achieve things. I really do. However, a degree is just one way to show what you can do.

People can work just as hard in their careers and personal life, as people who work hard through the means of sit down study.

 

 

 

For instance, say you meet a person who:

 

- can have intelligent conversations with you, about a wide variety of topics. The same as a person with a degree.

 

- is self motivated to learn as much as they can in life

 

- can keep up with what you have to say in conversations

 

- is a warm, kind, generous person

 

- is physically very attractive to you

 

- has the same interest and hobbies similar to your own ( for instance, some people want people who party and have fun, where as others want more of a homebody, or something inbetween)

 

 

 

What if you meet the ideal person, who earns a decent living, and is everything you want...

..and then you find out they do not have a college degree?

 

 

Would u drop them because they do not have a degree, after you already decided they DID Have enough substance and that they WERE intelligent enough to keep up with you?

 

 

I definately respect the fact that people with degrees DO have certain attributes that NON degree people DO NOT pocess. I truly respect people with degrees for the hard work and time they put it! It is HIGHLY admirable.

 

My gripe, is that I believe that a person can have the same capacity to learn as a person with a degree. People with a degree know more about the topic they got the degree on.

Then there are people like me and my partner, who know a lot about other facts, that we learn about constantly.

 

 

Bottom line; a degree does not mean that a person automatically prefers learning, and is more intelligent than a person without a degree.

A person without a degree can have the same mental capacity, people skills, and ability to hold their own in a conversation, as a person with a degree.

 

 

 

 

I am not talking about the social norms: I am saying that you should judge peoply on a case by case basis!

 

Why assume all people without degrees behave a certain way, compared to people with a degree?

 

DO NOT comment if you are going to be rude or have a stab at the fact that I am not the most eloquent or grammatically sound write, and comment on how ' people with degrees know how to write better, and they come across as far superior"

 

 

.....I may not write well, but I know people WITHOUT degrees who are magnificant writers.

 

 

 

 

So. Answers please. ARe you open to the fact that ALL people, with a degree or not, can be just as compelling and remarkable people? Or, are we all drop kicks who are too lazy to study all the time.

 

 

Or, perhaps it is just as simple as : people with degrees simple have something about them, that I admire, and I cannot respect people who do not study in that manner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am sick of snobbery, I have even heard people on this website talk lowly of people who are hair dressers, tradesmen, or who are very sucessfull, but in their NON degree careers.

 

 

Really. Plumers, mechanics, and personal trainers can make a lot of money....

 

 

 

Furthermore, when I do get my degree in the next 4 years, I also plan to get:

 

 

- a hospitality and retail certificate. Aside from my personal training, I want to have other skills under my belt, so that I can have a way to make money, SHOULD my degree related job be hard to get.

 

 

- I do not think working in cafes, good clothing stores, or the like, is beneath anyone. It is honest money. I actually love working at Cafes, and even when I have a degree, I will work at cafes in any spare time I have, to earn MORE m oney.

 

 

It may not be every ones cup of tea, but to say it is ' beneath them", to acossiate with a person who works in a cafe or is a hair dresser, is really snobby.

 

 

Yes, realise on average that a lot of people without degrees are the ones who are " drop kicks" " pot heads" and people who are just " simple" with no desire or passion for learning.

 

Then then are people who are avid learners and readers like I am, who enjoy learning about things as much as ap erson with a degree.

 

 

 

Please state your reasons for having a strong preference for people with a degree.

[ja123]

"What if you meet the ideal person, who earns a decent living, and is everything you want...

 

 

..and then you find out they do not have a college degree?

 

 

Would u drop them because they do not have a degree, after you already decided they DID Have enough substance and that they WERE intelligent enough to keep up with you?"

 

Personally, "NO," so long as they're happy, successful, and well-adjusted.

 

It depends what you do in life with or without a degree, I think. Just because someone has a degree doesn't mean that he/she still doesn't think like a sheep.

 

However, people using OLD, for instance, might overlook someone who doesn't have a degree because there is so much choice with other people who do have degrees. That's one of the disadvantages of OLD: people making assumptions without having met the person.

Edited March 21, 2012 by ja123

[Bob_Funk]

College is a scam for the most part. Nowadays, almost everyone who majors in any subject other than engineering or accounting is screwed.

Edited March 21, 2012 by Bob_Funk

[Leigh 87]

Another thing,

 

 

Growing up, my mothers side of the family all have degrees. One of my cousins is even doing medicine. The other has a finance orientated degree. My other cousin has a law degree and works for a television company and is RICH.

 

They all have degrees. Yet, I grew up with these people, and they all tell me and my parents that they think I am an intelligent girl. Based on the conversations I have with them, what we have talked about throughout my life, and the child I was to them growing up.

 

 

My mother has a degree, but my father does not. He DID go to Uni and start a degree, but he was offered a well paid job and quit, so he could work and then travel.

 

Both my parents are about the same,in terms of their interlectual capacities.

 

 

I admit, that I want the freedom and time to exercise, relax, and work and save money. It looks lazier than studying full time, but actually, I plan to work towards my career full time, the same as a Uni student studies full time.

 

 

*sigh*. I know it is similar to people who prefer petite women over normal sized ones. NOthing personal - just a preference. I just think it is a tad snobby, to feel a person is " better quality" due to having a degree.

 

 

 

Yes, I realise a lot of people with degrees can write far better than I can, on account of all the essays they have to construct. Then again, I know people who do certain degrees, who CANNOT write well. AT ALL... Seriously.

 

 

WHy is being able to write well on paper essential?

 

 

I am really interested to hear the answers. No bashing, please. LIke I said, I am aware of my shortcommings in regards to writing well.

 

That said, where I am living at the moment, most people cannot write as well as the better spoken love shackers. Seriously. A LOT of people simply cannot put together essay quality written work.

 

 

 

Another thing I have noticed. My boyfriend - he hates reading, prefers doing and watching to learn. He never reads. He had the capacoty to if he wants in high school, but did not bother. Fair enough.

 

 

When he was travelling, he got a girl who could: speak 5 languages: has a masters degree: was b eautiful to look at: was a cool person..

 

... they both just got along superbly. They had a great time every day together. Yet she had a masters degree and loves to read and write novels, where as my boyfriend cannot even read a whole page without effort. It isnot how he is geared.

 

How does that work? I realize they were travelling and " Just having fun", ( HER words).. but surely, if my boyfriend came across as a stupid, uninteresting, simple drop kick, such an accomplished women would not have wanted to spend every day with him for 3 months?

 

 

Perhaps people without degrees can come across very well, but when it comes to settling down, this girl would not fancy him: she would want him as a travel partner, because he is great fun and she had the craziest time of her life with him... but, he would not underdtand her on a deap enough level to fulfill her emotionally.

 

 

 

What do you think about all this/ The fact people with degrees regularly get close to people without degrees?

 

Some of my best friends, before I was sick, had degrees or were studying...Where as I was not. I got along fine. There was no discrepency on any issues we talked about.

[dasein]

College is a scam for the most part. Basically anyone who majored in any subject other than engineering, accounting, or finance made a horrible life decision.

 

I agree with the above within limits, and OP within limits.

 

The reason I say within limits is I think there are many other indicia of achievement and accomplishment in life than a degree. As long as they got -something- going on, cool. if no degree AND nothing going on in life, red or pink flag.

 

OTOH, have dated many dropouts, perpetual students who never seem to finish school, etc., and had bad experiences with them. If someone starts a degree, sticks it out half through, then drops out "just because" and not due to real life issues, that's a red flag for me going forward. If someone takes many years, say 6+, to get a degree without those significant life issues, red flag. If someone with multiple degrees and little accomplishment is talking "going back to school," red flag.

[Leigh 87]

I do not think college is a scam - I think it is wonderful to be able to study a varity of topics in such depth... I just do not think it means a person who does not, cannot be just as sucessful or well adjusted.

 

Many people do not get jobs with degrees, I know people in this predicament. Hence why I said I am getting my personal trainign career FIRST, in addition to hospitality and retail certificates, so that I can earn a living while I wait to get into a degree job.

[Kamille]

Is anyone putting pressure on you to go to college?

 

This thread seems to be coming out of the blue. And again, you seem to have a plan and seem to be happy with your choices. So why the sudden rant about degrees potentially being deal breakers for people?

[Desensitized]

If I found a person that had everything I wanted and didn't have a degree, I wouldn't care. This is just me, though.

[hotloader]

Why is a college degree indicative that a person is intelligent enough, to meet your needs in a partner?

 

I think it is snobby... the people who assume those with no degree, lack substance and do not like learning or reading, as much as a degree orientated person.

 

Americans as a whole have become very narrow-minded regarding college. I think it's funny to sit back and witness this sort of pseudo class-warfare because it doesn't have a damn thing to do with how much money people actually make, which in the end is all that matters.

 

A person can be intelligent, worldly, and well-rounded without a college degree. Take me for example. I'm an American male. I play two instruments, I'm bilingual, I've traveled all over the globe, I'm worldly and well-rounded, and I enjoy an income well into the six figures. Guess what.....I don't have a college degree! To boot, I never even finished high school! I've had my own business since I was seventeen years old!

[dasein]

Americans as a whole have become very narrow-minded regarding college. I think it's funny to sit back and witness this sort of pseudo class-warfare because it doesn't have a damn thing to do with how much money people actually make, which in the end is all that matters.

 

If I had it to do over again, I'd use the 200k spent on school in my life for something else or invest it. That's an assload of opportunity cost, and like you, most of the useful stuff I've learned I taught myself.

 

For parents today? No way would I press the kid for college unless they were very academically talented. Tuition put in a trust today would completely retire them at 45-50, and most community/jr. colleges aren't worth the time or money.

[johan]

I have a graduate degree. I paid off my student loans a couple years ago. I'm happy with my decision to go to school, and I value the knowledge it gave me. I don't work in the field I studied, but it's the foundation of how I think. And I use the math and statistics often. There are times when I would have been left behind in conversations and on projects if I didn't at least know the concepts. But I was also able to apply them.

 

My kids will be encouraged to go to school for sure.

 

Would I not date someone who had no degree? Not sure. It would make me doubtful. But if she's intelligent, I'd probably forget it soon enough. One thing I've found is that people who don't have degrees feel insecure about it. They tend to disqualify themselves.

[Leigh 87]

I will encourage my children to go to school and college. However, if they have a great plan after school, I would not care if they bi passed a degree.

 

I do not tend to associate with people who's main passion is maths or science, and who talk about mathamatical concepts.

 

I enjoy space, and the theories on space and time, but I HAVE NO idea how to follow the concepts, but I sure as hell LOVE hearing about them! I pick peoples brains and as people about things that are too advanced for mem to grasp, but I do enjoy hearing about!

 

 

 

 

Yes, my boyfriend plays the drums very well and has travelled the world... I guess the chick had fun with him. She is very well spoken and can write extremely well though, it makes me wonder if she would consider him as a life partner.

 

 

Can people who write very well be with someone who does not even like to read, even if they both get along and have the best time together?

 

My boyfriend loves leearning, and he is very good at understanding concepts, and he knows how to fix problems and objects around the house .... He is no silly.

 

The main difference, is that his gramma and spelling are shocking. He can use a good vocabulary whilst talking, verbally speaing.. but he cannot exactly put together a well written letter, or read a novel. He hates that.

[jobaba]

 

My gripe, is that I believe that a person can have the same capacity to learn as a person with a degree. People with a degree know more about the topic they got the degree on.

Then there are people like me and my partner, who know a lot about other facts, that we learn about constantly.

 

 

I have two college degrees and will soon have a third ... all from top schools and all in pretty respectable subjects ... engineering, hard science, and public policy.

 

Yet ... I couldn't teach with much proficiency in any of the subjects because I just don't have much passion for them. It's all a means for me to be financially stable. You'll find this applies to MOST people who don't pursue a doctorate and academia with their degrees. They'll forget the material in a few years if not sooner.

 

I can however play music. Teach music theory, guitar, and ear training. With much proficiency. That's because I love it and I do it. Actively and often. I have zero degrees in it (although tons of independent lessons and schooling).

 

So would I date someone without a degree? Absolutely.

 

In terms of your original question though, people list education as a dealbreaker because ... newsflash ... people list everything as a dealbreaker.

 

To be honest, I think it's weird that people use looks as an AUTOMATIC dealbreaker. But no one will ever side with me on that one. At least with the education one, you'll have some people on your side.

[Bob_Funk]

If I had it to do over again, I'd use the 200k spent on school in my life for something else or invest it. That's an assload of opportunity cost, and like you, most of the useful stuff I've learned I taught myself.

 

For parents today? No way would I press the kid for college unless they were very academically talented. Tuition put in a trust today would completely retire them at 45-50, and most community/jr. colleges aren't worth the time or money.

 

I feel the same way. Even the subjects I listed are no guarantee. It's just that people who picked those majors are slightly less screwed than the rest.

 

As someone who "did everything right," I would've skipped college if I knew then what I know now. Not only would I have been better off financially. I wouldn't have had to waste my prime years couped up in a classroom.

 

Sure, my job has some status. Couldn't care less. Just gimme money and wimmin.

[kaylan]

A chick who went to college generally has the same goals and ideals that I do. More so than someone who didnt.

 

Plus people who go to college tend to have a bit more drive to succeed and do big things. I like that in a girl.

 

Basically, Ill have more in common with a graduate than someone whos not.

[Jane2011]

I would date someone without a degree if he's intelligent and charming.

 

One thing I've found is that people who don't have degrees feel insecure about it. They tend to disqualify themselves.

 

Also, yes, I would prefer that if he has no degree that he not care what anyone thinks about it. I prefer it not even be in his consciousness in any way, even when speaking to or around people who have degrees.

[Leigh 87]

Kamille - no one is putting pressure on me at all. That is the point - I am very happy, I know exactly what I want career wise, and I even know the choices I am considering for my second career.

 

I will study exercise science, food science, or get a spcial sciences degree and be a councellor as well as a trainer. Those are my options, and I would like to pursue one of those.

 

 

I have a feeling I will not do th math orientated ones. I hate math so much that the joy would b e sapped out of my life, to the point where I would be utterly miserable.

 

growing up, I was good at math when u applied myself. I just hate it. Cannot stand it. BUT, with a tutor, I would consider it MAYBE.

 

 

 

 

No one is pressuring me, I just hate snobs and overly judgmental people.

 

 

 

I think the answer is common sense: if a person comes across as intelligent and is accomplished, they can come accross that way without a degree.

[Jane2011]

Leigh - I think you should take one class per semester until you want to really go at it (university)

[Leigh 87]

A chick who went to college generally has the same goals and ideals that I do. More so than someone who didnt.

 

Plus people who go to college tend to have a bit more drive to succeed and do big things. I like that in a girl.

 

Basically, Ill have more in common with a graduate than someone whos not.

 

 

 

When I start as a personal trainer, I aim to be the best at it as I can be. I will constsantly study, research, and do what it takes to be very sucessfull....

 

 

Do you mean to say you want a highly ambitious person, who will likely have a high paid job? What about a sucessful job that is not highly paid or highly regarded ( but still respectable)?

 

What about a person like me, who is going after a job they are passionate about, compared to a women with a degree, who hates their job, but got the degree simply for status and security?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why is it more likely that a girl with a degree will have a career they are passionate about? A lot of people with degrees do it to get a scure job.

What if one day and am very sucessful without a degree, and wish to spend my success on travelling the world and learning languaged, rather than on my career, does that make me not ambitious enough?

 

 

Just wondering.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh - I think you should take one class per semester until you want to really go at it (university)

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I actually want to do one class next semester, simply because I LOVE reading, and simply enjoy reading about some of the subjects in my degree.

 

 

I switched to a sociology degree, and anthrolology was fascinating, I would really love to study one subject per semester just to something that is stimulating, enjoyable, and something I am interested in studying.

 

 

If I have my personal training job under way byu next semester I will do it I think.

 

 

Thanks for reminding me. I forgot that was an option, lol.

[Leigh 87]

OH - my boyfriend might move states, and although he would do the long distance thing, I would rather try my luc as a trainer there with him.

 

 

OH.... I could do it online, there are subjects u can do online... maybe not the ones I am interested in though.

 

 

As you can see, I have a lot of options, and have not really thougth every one of them through.

 

And yes - when I go to Uni, I WILL do an essay writing course. I am aware I am not well spoken or well written. Although there are people who are far worse, sadly.

[udolipixie]

Why is a college degree indicative that a person is intelligent enough, to meet your needs in a partner?

Having a degree doesn't automatically mean the person is intelligent.

It also doesn't automatically mean the person is more intelligent than a person without one.

 

My career path will best work for me, for my own reasons. So, why is it that not having a degree makes me not capable of having an intellignt conversation?

It doesn't what makes a person incapable of holding an intelligent conversation is lacking intelligence.

 

It does depending on who you ask. Some people believe not having a degree means you can't hold an intelligent conversation and some don't believe it. People tend to have their own beliefs and the intelligent conversation if you have a degree may be one.

 

Why does not having a degree make me less enthusiastic about learning?

This again depends on who you ask it's the whole different beliefs.

 

What if you meet the ideal person, who earns a decent living, and is everything you want...

..and then you find out they do not have a college degree?

 

Would u drop them because they do not have a degree, after you already decided they DID Have enough substance and that they WERE intelligent enough to keep up with you?

Yes I'd drop them.

 

 

Why assume all people without degrees behave a certain way, compared to people with a degree?

It seems to me that most people like assumptions and generalizations as it makes life and people less complex and easier to deal with. Plus assumptions/generalizations can allow personal bigotry and bias into the mix.

 

So. Answers please. ARe you open to the fact that ALL people, with a degree or not, can be just as compelling and remarkable people? Or, are we all drop kicks who are too lazy to study all the time.

I'm open to that as I already think that.

 

Please state your reasons for having a strong preference for people with a degree.

Equivalence and certain fields require a degree.

[kaylan]

When I start as a personal trainer, I aim to be the best at it as I can be. I will constsantly study, research, and do what it takes to be very sucessfull....

 

Do you mean to say you want a highly ambitious person, who will likely have a high paid job? What about a sucessful job that is not highly paid or highly regarded ( but still respectable)?

 

What about a person like me, who is going after a job they are passionate about, compared to a women with a degree, who hates their job, but got the degree simply for status and security?

Its about ambition and goals, not the money. I want to know a woman has a good outlook on life and aims to be successful. And btw, plenty of women with degrees love what they do for work. So its more than just status and security for a lot of them.

Why is it more likely that a girl with a degree will have a career they are passionate about? A lot of people with degrees do it to get a scure job.

What if one day and am very sucessful without a degree, and wish to spend my success on travelling the world and learning languaged, rather than on my career, does that make me not ambitious enough?

 

Just wondering.

Lets be a little realistic here...some people get jobs that they are passionate about, and some do it to pay the bills. At the end of the day a person with a degree...on average...will lead a more comfortable and happy life. They wont struggle as much as the average high school graduate.

 

I think its great that people try to avoid struggling in the lower class by going to college. Wouldnt you be more attracted to someone who smartly planned for the future? Wouldnt you see them as someone you could run a comfortable household with for your kids?

 

If you can be successful without a degree, then good luck and I wish you the best...its very doable. However, at the end of the day, the average college graduate is way better off than the average high school graduate. A lot of people know this and go to school to avoid a struggle in life.

 

P.S. - You REALLY need to clean up your posting style. Sometimes I just ignore your posts because of the way you format them. And for the love of god stop using so many spaces lol. And please write in paragraphs if your posts are more than a few lines. For every four sentences, end a paragraph and skip one line and start a new one.

 

Also, quit using bold so much. You do these things a lot. Im just saying itd make it easier to follow your posts if you cleaned them up.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I don't think anyone who has a degree that isn't math or science based can make a quality argument in favor of using a degree as a dating criteria.

 

Seriously... Forrest Gump graduated... probably in women's studies. How hard is it to get a degree in Poly Sci or something?

 

I did Biochemistry. I watched business majors show up for their exams high and drunk without even reading the text and getting B's.

[jobaba]

Its about ambition and goals, not the money. I want to know a woman has a good outlook on life and aims to be successful. And btw, plenty of women with degrees love what they do for work. So its more than just status and security for a lot of them.

Lets be a little realistic here...some people get jobs that they are passionate about, and some do it to pay the bills. At the end of the day a person with a degree...on average...will lead a more comfortable and happy life. They wont struggle as much as the average high school graduate.

 

I think its great that people try to avoid struggling in the lower class by going to college. Wouldnt you be more attracted to someone who smartly planned for the future? Wouldnt you see them as someone you could run a comfortable household with for your kids?

 

If you can be successful without a degree, then good luck and I wish you the best...its very doable. However, at the end of the day, the average college graduate is way better off than the average high school graduate. A lot of people know this and go to school to avoid a struggle in life.

 

 

I agree with this as well.

 

Although I would date someone without a degree, they have to be doing something ambitious.

 

A college degree is pretty easy to get these days. I've met more people than I can count who got degrees while working and having a family.