My Story, Fear of Rejection or Fear of relationships

[The_Joker]

Hey guys, so I really need some advice here, this is going to be quite fairly long, but i hope someone can help.

 

To begin, there is this girl I like, or whom I thought I liked. We have known each other for about 5 months, become pretty good friends, not best friends/friendzone, at least that's how I feel on my side. Anyways, due to various circumstances, anything happening between us would have not been appropriate until last week when circumstances changed.

 

First off, she broke up with her bf in early, mid-January, and there have always been some signs of her liking me, but at the same time, I am ENTIRELY unsure if it is just the way she acts with other guys or not. But throughout the time I've known her, we've hung out a few times, not too many, we saw each other nearly every day though for different reasons, but I really liked her. Anyways, last week, the first week I felt comfortable with finally telling her how I felt about her, saw her twice, first time I chickened out, second time, circumstances weren't right. The biggest problem is getting us alone, people always seem to get in the way, or she's in a rush to go somewhere, stuff like that. Anyways, I made plans with her again this past weekend for tonight, casual dinner, just us two, alone, and thought it would have been a perfect time to tell her I liked her.

 

Then, from an earlier post here, someone said NOT to, cause that would be like suicide, but to show her, but at the time, I was so set on telling her how I felt and that was what i planned tonight. Tonight came, we went to dinner, casual, just as friends, she again had to meet up with some people afterwards, so it was short, but I just didn't feel comfortable telling her for some reason. That excitedness, happiness that I expected when spending time with her just wasn't there tonight, there were a few awkward pauses in our conversation to eat, sometimes she was checking her phone, mostly fine though, we carried through, but I just felt the time was not right. Something just wasn't right, and it was very hard to put my finger on it.

 

And as I was walking back alone, I realized, I don't think it was the fear of her rejection that stopped me, I think it was noticing for the first time, something just wasn't quite right, it's very hard to describe, almost as if (and I am kind of scared to say) I didn't know if I was ready. I know, we haven't even been on an official date yet, and looking back, I think that was one of the reasons, I just need to spend more time with her, not necessarily to get to know her better (I mean there is always more to learn), but just to validate my feelings, I don't know if there is anyone else in a similar situation, or have experienced something like this in the past. This Sunday, I will have a chance to see her, and hopefully ask her out.

 

I don't know guys, I just need some advice, is asking her to go out with me the way to go? (And if she says now, then I obviously have my answer) I'm pretty sure I really do like her, was I just being a chicken? Am I making excuses for myself? Sometimes I think, just tell her how I feel and be honest, except it's not that simple.

[theories_galore]

Nope. I don't think you're scared to commit to a relationship. It's your gut telling you that it isn't the right time for you and this woman. Hint #1 should've been the whole breaking up with her bf a couple of months ago. I think it's way too soon to start something up. Hint #2 is that feeling you're feeling. Just keep in close touch and see her and just let things happen naturally. Don't go out of your way or try too hard, it'll only end up bad. Stay patient and what will be, will be. Good luck.