Think I Screwed Up

[Adam34]

So there's a girl I work with who I really like. I don't know her well, only see her a few times a week (she works in another floor of the building). Anyway, I am 95% sure she likes me too...she is very friendly to me, smiles wide for me (she has given me the over the shoulder look and smile as she is walking away on numerous occasions), a co-worker told me she was asking him about me once, she plays with her hair before approaching me, etc.

 

Anyway, i have tried not to be too forward with her because i still don't know her that well and I don't generally like the idea of asking her out at work. I have been friendly/flirty back with her, done nice things for her (to which she has been receptive). The problem is our interactions are generally very brief and other people are usually around/involved. So i have been thinking how nice it would be to run into her outside of work. Well, this weekend that happened. Unfortunately, I was totally caught off guard running into her. She spotted me and got really excited, hugged me and said Hi etc.. Well here's where I messed up. Instead of indulging her in conversation, I exchanged the usual pleasantries, told her I would see her later and headed for the hills, i.e. the second floor of the bar. I ended up kicking myself over this move, but i was generally surprised to see her and basically chickened out, which is something i NEVER do. There's just something about this girl...i haven't had a crush like this since high school, not even on my exes.

 

My question is, how do I go from here? I will surely see her this week at work. My initial thought is to not make any kind of excuse for not being as friendly as I'm sure she wanted me to be. I just wonder if she thinks i was playing "hard to get" (which i certaintly wasn't..like i said i was just unusually nervous). That's probably how I would feel if she had done the same thing.

Help.

[salparadise]

Man, you gotta go ahead and be bold and make your move. Your window of opportunity won't remain open indefinitely. Since you chickened out when you ran into her, which she may sense, you need to be even bolder now. Just throw caution out the window, act dominate, and ask her out without blinking. You don't want to live with the consequences of not doing it.

[Adam34]

i agree, and the problem is I missed a golden opportunity. But i am very good at hiding my feelings/emotions, so i dont guess she noticed that i "chickened out". I acted very confidently, just cut it real short. Maybe i was playing hard to get or something, which makes me sick to my stomach.

[veggirl]

Ouch, I agree you better hurry up and recover from that. Can you send her an email, or msg on FB? Ask her for her # and tell her you'd like to take her out.

[The_Joker]

From what it sounds like, I wouldn't worry about her thinking you're playing hard to get, I would worry about her thinking you are not interested! You now must take the initiative, ask her out, make plans with her, outside of work of course, ball is in your court now.

[CC12]

I don't generally like the idea of asking her out at work.

 

Why not? If there's no company policy against it, there's nothing wrong with coworkers making plans to meet up outside the workplace.

 

It doesn't have to be a big deal - "Hi, want to grab some coffee after work?" or "Are you going to [that bar] again this weekend?" If yes, "Cool, see you there!" If no, "I hear there's a cool [thing going on this weekend]. Want to go?"

 

And yeah, don't make an excuse for not being very friendly when you saw her. No need to bring it up. It'll just be awkward.