eleanorhurting Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I think I have a crush. It is probably something stupid I do to keep myself entertained. About 3 weeks ago I went to a friends beach house and I met this guy who was a friend of a friend (we were 2 girls and 3 guys). One of them I felt he was flirting with me and I tried to flirt back (being subtle because I did not want everyone to notice!). After the beach we watched the superbowl (boriiiing) and he sat next to me on the couch and explained to me how football works. I thought he was cute and the flirtation/sparks were encouraging enough that I acted like I actually care about football. When we were going back I was going to ride with him and another guy but it turned out it was better for my girlfriend to give me a ride because it would be out of the way for them. I was already in the car when she insisted on the change of plans and I got off and said goodbye and thank you for everything and him and his friend said goodbye too. He had not really been on my mind until this week when I was at school and I saw him from afar and thought of purposely "bumping" into him but he disappeared before I could. Do you think if there was any chance he would have liked me that he would have already tried to contact me somehow? Neither of us have facebook (I remember he mentioned it) I apologize for the dumbest most school girl-like thread I have ever started on here. But at the same time its a cute-sy feeling having little butterflies over someone I barely know I feel like I am in high school all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Wondering what he is thinking is silly. If you are interested in getting to know him better, make it happen! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 How? I never see him! I saw him this week by chance because I have lectures/seminars this week. After Friday I am off to clinics again 2 hours away from the main campus. I don't frequent campus that much anymore since I am in my clinical years (I am a med student). Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 A girl who finds the superbowl boring? neeeeexxxt lolz 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bolase Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 He wouldn't have sat next to you explaining how it works as he did,unless he found you attractive. Also, look at you. No other way. So, get in touch, get a friend of yours to invite you both somewhere else and mention you will be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Hey at least I pretended to be interested! Now if it were baseball it would be a different story Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) Well, as a guy I can tell you that your getting out of the car probably indicated, to him, a lack of interest on your part towards him. He made an overture to give you a ride and you passed. All is not lost though. You could do the following: (a) Find him on Facebook. (b) Send him a message on FB and say that you enjoyed talking to him and give him your number. © If you can't do (b), have a mutual friend pass on your number to him. I would go (a)--(b) if that is possible though. Edited March 1, 2012 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Neither of us has facebook! I mentioned it to my friend that I found him incredibly cute but she didn't really do anything about it. She didn't encourage or discourage it. I wonder if maybe he is dating someone. Yes, I know getting out of the car was a mistake but it was really out of the way for them and maybe i thought it would have been too obvious if i insisted on staying. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Looks like you gotta go with Option ©. Track down a mutual friend and ask for his number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Isn't that a little forward/desperate? I feel like nothing has ever worked out when I contact a guy that directly. The approach that usually works is the whole fb message thing or gchat flirtation. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Well, then don't do anything. You won't get the guy, but you'll keep your pride, I guess. I would be flattered if a girl whom I expressed interest in, as this guy did in you, put in the extra effort to contact me as I suggested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 i added him on linked-in. I doubt anything will come from it though. To be honest, I have had so many failures recently that I am embarassed to even tell my friends that I am interested in some one I met for a few hours. I am afraid they will just laugh at me or scoul at me for once again liking someone from school (in another year though) after having been through one of the worst experiences in my dating life so far last summer with a classmate. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 What are you embarrassed about? you're an attractive woman, I'm sure he was interested by taking the time to try and explain football..If he wasn't he probably wouldn't have wasted his breathe, even though he could have been polite...plus he probably wanted to give you a ride home at the time but was unable to...It would have been kind weird for him to intervene when your friend did. It seems like your friend might even seem interested in him, or at least know something you don't like you said. Seems odd she wouldn't be excited for you or at least try to reconnect with him, especially If she thought he was a good guy and such for you. Are you sure there's no way of connecting or running into this guy? I understand what you mean about coming off desperate, i feel that women should put themselves in the line of fire basically, kind of entice a man to make a move If he's interested...kind of a form of luring but not outright pursue even though I know a lot of guys in here tell you to just go for it...I don't necessarily agree with them myself or at least that It's just as simple as that...even though some guys would be flattered...It really depends on the guy, If he's universally good looking/attractive It might just stroke his ego more than anything...once a guy knows you are interested in him, his attitude and effort could drop/change/alter...so I'd be a little more subtle than than just direct...unless you have a really friendly/comfortable level of communication where you know this person has a level of respect or interest in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Ugh so i added him on linkedin which is this super lame networking site and he accepted my friend request but he did not even look at my page (the site tells you who looks at your page). I sent him a message that said: I thought you were against social networking sites (we had a conversation about how he hates facebook, twitter, etc that day at the beach). Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 maybe he wont be replying? He hasnt so far and it has been like 12 hours. maybe he does not use linkedin. He has his email on his profile. should i? Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 maybe he wont be replying? He hasnt so far and it has been like 12 hours. maybe he does not use linkedin. He has his email on his profile. should i? Noo don't email him yet! If he accepted your friend request or whatever on Linked in, he must use it? Or at least get email notifications of requests / msgs. Is that how it works? If so, you know he got your msg, so don't do anything... Link to post Share on other sites
MagnumOpus Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I'd write it off as a loss. Google was a great stock to buy at $100 a share. There's nothing you can do to change the fact that the opportunity has come and gone except keep your eyes out for the next great opportunity, and maybe take a lesson or two away from this experience. Everything is cyclical. There'll be another shot, or at least another equal opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 jeezus christ woman...if you like him simply suggest hanging out sometime...an email cant hurt...that or have a mutual friend relay a message. there ya go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 I dont know i have had such bad experiences with people from school and men in general lately that maybe my friend just does not want to encourage me to fail again because it could be very embarassing. well i guess i will just let it go. i would try but im afraid he will just laugh in my face and it will be awkward Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 He replied!! He asked how i was. i sent back a short message with a question about interviews to make sure he answers back Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Isn't that a little forward/desperate? I feel like nothing has ever worked out when I contact a guy that directly. The approach that usually works is the whole fb message thing or gchat flirtation. You dont have to get your mutual friend to ask for his number on your behalf, just ask her to drop it into a conversation the next time that she and this guy (or his friend) talk together....'oh by the way eleanorhurting really liked spending time with you the other week, she thinks your cute'. If this doesn't prompt the guy to ask for your number, well then you had taken the initiative (subtle though it is) and you can stop wondering and go back to normal...or maybe not, if he calls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 So we have been messaging back and forth so far 2 messages from my part and 2 from him but i have noticed he takes a whole day to respond. I wonder if he really does not check his email 10 times a day like I do or if he's playing it cool. Either way, I am going to just leave it alone. I recently had an epiphany that the reason why I scare most men off is because I have serious issues that only time and therapy are going to solve. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 aww this is cute we have been messaging once a day since friday Me: Hey I thought you were Mr. anti-facebook and anti-social netoworks and now I find you here! what a surprise! 1 day Him: LOL you caught me. I am not against facebook I just closed it for a while. How are you? Are you still in sunny city? 1 day Me: Yeah I closed my facebook account too and I dont know when I will open it. Are you ready for the residency match? No I am not at sunny city this week, I am actually in town for an orientation. Are you still at sunny city? 1 day him: No, I was only there for 2 weeks now Im back home. I am as ready as I will ever be for the residency match. Get ready because from here to next January it going to be a crazy ride. (he is 1 year ahead of me and in the process of applying for residency). 1 day Me: Did you do couplesmatch with your bromance (he has a guy friend who he is ALWAYS with). ? I understand how you feel about the residency match, I would feel the same. i hope everything work out for you in the match... and your bromance lol p.s. I think I am going to have to use facebook again. I joined an organization that does everything through facebook and they strongly recommend having an account. 1 day Him: LOL we sort of did a couples match since we both put Miami as our first choice. And the whole facebook thing... that sounds like a lame excuse! Just saying lol I havent answerd that was this morning I wonder if should just leave it at that or if hes flirting with me or if I should say something Link to post Share on other sites
The_Joker Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 So we have been messaging back and forth so far 2 messages from my part and 2 from him but i have noticed he takes a whole day to respond. I wonder if he really does not check his email 10 times a day like I do or if he's playing it cool. Either way, I am going to just leave it alone. I recently had an epiphany that the reason why I scare most men off is because I have serious issues that only time and therapy are going to solve. Haha, no really, most people do NOT check their email 10 times a day, especially guys. Except.... I do...... LOL and I'm a guy..., ok but that's also partly because I'm waiting for an interview for medical school Ok, not really, I used to do that too, I dunno......... wandering off topic here.... He might be interested, but at the same time, he's in the same situation you are in, he doesn't know if you are interested either At least you have some way of contacting him, a good place to start (probably not to rush things too much), is to suggest you guys hang out again, since it was fun the first time (I am totally butchering what you should say, make it smoother lol, but the point is to make plans with him in person), and if he's interested, he'll probably ask for your number next time you see him in person. And... you'll also probably figure out whether or not he has a gf... and all that other good stuff So far, it doesn't seem like you have given any real indication that you yourself like him so it doesn't sound too desperate, and guys like it when girls initiate and make plans =D Link to post Share on other sites
Author eleanorhurting Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 thanks Maybe I will wait until next week to congratulate him when he finds out where he will end up going to residency and maybe hint at something about meeting up. OR i thought asking him: "doesn't your girlfriend get jealous? about your bromance" but i thought that might be too obvious Link to post Share on other sites
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