SteveC80 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 It seems women seem to get over long relationships/marriage much easier then Men a lot of times, i know its happened in my relationships and now with a few of my friends One of my friends ex wives before the ink was dry found another guy had kid with him while a year later hes still distraught Another found out his wifes been cheating for the past year not even two years into their marriage even after all that he tried to get back with her and she kept blaming him for her CHEATING WOmen seme ot be mroe cold and calculating in relaitonships and look at it from a business standpoint and what they get out of it then a loving bond,very sociopathic behavior The stereotype is its men who are the cold emotionless ones and the women who love unconditonally but in reality it seems to be the other way around a lot of times its just that Men werent conditioned to show that side off publicly Link to post Share on other sites
InJest Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Anyone can be cold and emotionless. Women appear to get over relationships easier, because they can find someone to bang them easier. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I feel that women are a little bit more adept at dealing with heartbreak than men are. Although it is also likely it's more of an individual thing rather than a gender thing. Men tend to bury it and act like they are OK........then go outside and walk in front of buses (Richard Pryor) lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Men have to actively pursue the next girl...while still being heart broken over the break-up. Women will have guys looking at them as easy lays and basically don't have to do **** other than accept the guys advances on them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I don't think women seem to get over relationships faster, maybe in your social circle that's true. In mine, it's pretty balanced, sometimes it's the men, sometimes women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think it depends. Some relationships I got over in no time. My last one took me about 3 years to get over, seriously. But if the generalization is true, I would guess it's because in the mating game, it's essentially the woman's job to screen the applicants, and the man's job to apply. So if it doesn't work out, the woman generally feels let down, and the man feels that he didn't measure up. The woman then finds some new applicants, and the man suits up for more interviews. It's easier to open the door to new applicants than to get out there and interview. Choosing the right man for the job is tough, though. Link to post Share on other sites
DepressedinDenver Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think its probably because women can get dates much easier than us. My ex wife had a rebound very quick after we separated. Women just have more options than us so it makes their dating lives easier. Thus making heartbreak easier so they can move on to the next guy even if deluding themselves. I do hope I am a woman in my next life. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think it depends. Some relationships I got over in no time. My last one took me about 3 years to get over, seriously. But if the generalization is true, I would guess it's because in the mating game, it's essentially the woman's job to screen the applicants, and the man's job to apply. So if it doesn't work out, the woman generally feels let down, and the man feels that he didn't measure up. The woman then finds some new applicants, and the man suits for more interviews. It's easier to open the door to new applicants than to get out there and interview. Choosing the right man for the job is tough, though. This is sooooo not true in the dating game anymore, not at the time and location that I live anyway! Men, just like women, can be extremely picky about who they want for a relationship and they often are even more selective than women. Even if a guy hits on a girl lets say in a bar, it doesn't necessarily mean anything more than he wants her for a night of sex. My point is, even if a man and women start dating, they are BOTH applicants...and both are trying to measure up and prove themselves. Lots of women come out of relationships with ruined self confidence because the guy left them with the hopes of getting something better and because they didn't measure up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Getting over a relationship easier is not about gender, and latching onto someone new immediately probably indicates the opposite of being over it. A person with an internal locus of identity, will get over it easier than someone whose identity is defined by the relationship. A person with higher self-esteem will get over it quicker than someone who was primarily validated through the relationship. A person who is independent will get over it quicker than someone who is needy and dependent. The person who was less invested, less in love, less committed will get over it quicker than the counterpart. A person who goes from breakup straight to another serious relationship, without taking time to grieve and heal, is probably afraid to be alone and depends on relationships for identity and validation. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 It depends on the woman. SOME women seem to be very successful at dating, and can hop from relationship to relationship very easily. However, there is a good portion of women who have extreme troubles finding a relationship. The reason people like OP think they don't exist is because these sorts of women rarely talk about it. The inability to find a relationship is a source of great shame. Lots of people have the assumption that women can get a relationship whenever they want, and a lot of people think that if a woman WANTS a relationship and can't get on is the saddest, most pathetic creature. So if you're a woman who can't get a date, your choices are either to 1) talk about it, and deal with the intense shame and criticism that comes with it 2) not talk about it, or tell everyone how 'happy' you are to be single. I'm a woman, and I have an AWFUL time getting dates. I'm not shy about sharing this information, and it always makes my listeners recoil in horror. They quickly shush me and tell me that complaining about it will make me look "desperate," and that I should be telling myself I'm happy to be single. Interestingly enough, it's almost always women who shame me for expressing distress at my single state. Chances are, at least some of the women who you hear say "Oh I'm so happy to be single!" are just saying that to save social face, and the ones who can't bring themselves to say it just don't say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 It seems women seem to get over long relationships/marriage much easier then Men a lot of times, i know its happened in my relationships and now with a few of my friends One of my friends ex wives before the ink was dry found another guy had kid with him while a year later hes still distraught Another found out his wifes been cheating for the past year not even two years into their marriage even after all that he tried to get back with her and she kept blaming him for her CHEATING WOmen seme ot be mroe cold and calculating in relaitonships and look at it from a business standpoint and what they get out of it then a loving bond,very sociopathic behavior The stereotype is its men who are the cold emotionless ones and the women who love unconditonally but in reality it seems to be the other way around a lot of times its just that Men werent conditioned to show that side off publicly **sigh** man. It's sad to hear that your friends have had negative relationship experiences, but generalizing all women based on the behavior of these few you've seen is NOT COOL. Dozens of posters come to these forums every day and do the same thing - it gets tiresome. Some PEOPLE process their emotions and make decisions alot quicker than others. To those who take their time, quick decision-makers seem cold and calculating. Other PEOPLE can be less emotionally invested in a relationship at any given time than the other PERSON in the relationship. If the person with the stronger investment gets dumped, it takes them longer to recover. These discrepancies are not exclusive to men or women. They are behaviors that come from PEOPLE of all walks of life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Men have to actively pursue the next girl...while still being heart broken over the break-up. Women will have guys looking at them as easy lays and basically don't have to do **** other than accept the guys advances on them. Much wisdom in the words of this new poster, there is. Yes, hmmm. Actively seeking a new person while one is heartbroken is almost impossible. Its sooooo freaking hard. When I first broke up with my last ex, I had no motivation to speak to other women. Sure I wanted to get my mind off of my ex...but I was too emotionally drained to put any effort into talking to girls. However, while on the rebound, I went to this party and this chick started talking to me and picked me up. Went home with her that night. So this new poster is right, its much easier to move along with life when you have someone pursuing you. And when one is on the rebound, they are an easy lay. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Why do women seem to get over relationships easier? The only psyche you'll ever truly know, if you're fortunate, is your own. Everything isn't always as it 'seems'. Link to post Share on other sites
ditzchic Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Women are just better at dealing with emotions. We've been doing it since the day of our birth. We know what we are feeling, why and how to get over it. Guys pretend their emotions don't exist until they are overwhelming. Then they are up sh*t creek. I also think there's a point in that women are pursued. We can just sit back, do our healing and have someone else come for us during the process. It's almost impossible for a man to pursue women in a successful manner while he's in the unfamiliar territory of heartbreak. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I've never ever ever found this to be true. Unless the guys were all VERY good at hiding how they truly felt. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Anyone can be cold and emotionless. Women appear to get over relationships easier, because they can find someone to bang them easier. This. When a guy is heartbroken, he has to attempt to hold his shattered self-esteem together long enough to go out, introduce himself to someone new, and project the image of a confident guy who has his act together. Most likely this won't succeed at first so he'll get rejected, which will only serve to dent his confidence further. It's such an unappealing prospect he may avoid trying altogether for months or even years. When a woman is heartbroken, typically she'll get someone hitting on her sooner or later, with no regard to her 'confidence' or insecurities. Even if this doesn't work out or she's not interested, the ego-boost helps her recover and puts her in a much better place for when she does meet the right person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOnSleeve Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Men don't get women and women don't get men. It's amazing we all co-exist. Haha I don't think it's a matter of women getting "over" more easily. Everyone is different and responds differently to heartbreak. I've been accused of being that way because when I'm done...I'M DONE, No contact, no long drawn out talks, and no dragging it out. But little do they know I just come here I know guys that just go out drink, get laid and my friends never hear a peep again. Link to post Share on other sites
plowguy1 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 This. When a guy is heartbroken, he has to attempt to hold his shattered self-esteem together long enough to go out, introduce himself to someone new, and project the image of a confident guy who has his act together. Most likely this won't succeed at first so he'll get rejected, which will only serve to dent his confidence further. It's such an unappealing prospect he may avoid trying altogether for months or even years. When a woman is heartbroken, typically she'll get someone hitting on her sooner or later, with no regard to her 'confidence' or insecurities. Even if this doesn't work out or she's not interested, the ego-boost helps her recover and puts her in a much better place for when she does meet the right person. This is the reason Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) It seems women seem to get over long relationships/marriage much easier then Men a lot of times, i know its happened in my relationships and now with a few of my friends One of my friends ex wives before the ink was dry found another guy had kid with him while a year later hes still distraught Another found out his wifes been cheating for the past year not even two years into their marriage even after all that he tried to get back with her and she kept blaming him for her CHEATING WOmen seme ot be mroe cold and calculating in relaitonships and look at it from a business standpoint and what they get out of it then a loving bond,very sociopathic behavior The stereotype is its men who are the cold emotionless ones and the women who love unconditonally but in reality it seems to be the other way around a lot of times its just that Men werent conditioned to show that side off publicly Not this woman. Breakups are EXTREMELY difficult for me, regardless of how long I was with the person and regardless of how it ended. Why? Because I don't enter relationships willy-nilly and genuinely invest myself 100% in the men I do call my boyfriends. It takes me so f-n long to FIND someone I click with enough to want to get invested - I'm talking YEARS in between relationships here, and on top of that, once lightning strikes and I find that person, I'm naturally slow to *let* myself fall/commit (automatic defense mechanism, I suppose). By the time I feel secure enough to enter a relationship with a guy, I'm in it pretty deep from day one which, imo, makes the breakup that much more painful when it comes... Wash rinse repeat with every relationship. It's draining. I don't know how some of you guys come up with these grand "epiphanies" you keep spouting all over the forum, but honestly it's time to give it a rest. Edited February 28, 2012 by LexiB Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 It doesn't have much to do with who gets dates more easily because if you aren't ready to date it doesn't matter. I tried to go on dates after a breakup I couldn't get over and would end up in tears after the dates. Attention from men was not an ego boost. It made everything worse because I only wanted my ex. I had to stop dating until I recovered. Oftentimes, before a breakup, a person knows it's coming and prepares themselves for it emotionally. The person who prepares themselves emotionally and/or is already on the way out during the relationship gets over the breakup more easily. This is often the person who initiates the breakup. It has nothing to do with being male or female. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 It's because we're all soulless she-devils. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 It's because we're all soulless she-devils. Especially Mme. Chaucer, she got her husband through witchcraft, and refuses to share the spell with me. Very selfish of her, isn't it? Typical woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FrustratedStandards Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Key word: seem. I think we just hide it better. We don't go out, have sex with as many people as we want and then post party pictures on facebook. A woman is more likely to just sit at home and cry all day. Guys have a different method of coping. That's why it seems easier for us, but it's really not. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 **sigh** man. It's sad to hear that your friends have had negative relationship experiences, but generalizing all women based on the behavior of these few you've seen is NOT COOL. Dozens of posters come to these forums every day and do the same thing - it gets tiresome. Some PEOPLE process their emotions and make decisions alot quicker than others. To those who take their time, quick decision-makers seem cold and calculating. Other PEOPLE can be less emotionally invested in a relationship at any given time than the other PERSON in the relationship. If the person with the stronger investment gets dumped, it takes them longer to recover. These discrepancies are not exclusive to men or women. They are behaviors that come from PEOPLE of all walks of life. I've never ever ever found this to be true. Unless the guys were all VERY good at hiding how they truly felt. You two don't forget something: the guys who make these generalizations that relationships/dating are easier for women are men who admit they suck at dating. So of course their opinion is going to be way off most of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Key word: seem. I think we just hide it better. We don't go out, have sex with as many people as we want and then post party pictures on facebook. A woman is more likely to just sit at home and cry all day. Guys have a different method of coping. That's why it seems easier for us, but it's really not. Agreed. I bet there are more men who sleep around after a break up than there are women. Link to post Share on other sites
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