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Are these good reasons to lose interest/reject someone?


PlumPrincess

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I think I need a reality check.

 

I lost interest in guys for the following reasons:

 

- Guy #1 ad this overly interested look in his eyes when we met. Called me a hot chick afterwards. Claimed he also didn't see me that way and was interested in meeting people when I said I didn't feel any sparks (I didn't believe him and I think you should be man enough not to tell that you don't when you did). He continued messaging me and suggesting things to which I barely replied. I don't feel attracted to guys who are totally clueless when it comes to women and a woman who takes weeks to reply to your messages is obviously not that interested.

- Guy #2 had no ideas where to go when I said I would like to go somewhere I can eat something. He was just clueless and I had to make a decision regarding the meeting place. We went and had ice cream. He complained about the ice cream dripping from the cone. Got something to wipe it up and said, "Ice cream - 1 minus point." It wasn't directed at me, but somehow I found it somewhat off putting since ice cream and that place had been my idea.

- Guy #3 had a missing tooth in the front row. He was nice, but it was just weird that his tooth was missing. It was a crown that he lost months ago and he just hadn't managed to get it fixed. I thought he was more unusual than I can take.

 

I don't go out with guys:

 

- whose age preferences is skewed towards younger women. I probably reject about 80% of all guys who contact me for that reason.

- who are much older than me. 10 years is too much.

- who are too overweight with a considerably convex belly. I'm not, because I probably have good genes and because I take care of my weight.

 

I guess there are some other reasons, but these are the first ones that come to my mind.

 

Opinions?

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I think I need a reality check.

 

I lost interest in guys for the following reasons:

 

- Guy #1 ad this overly interested look in his eyes when we met. Called me a hot chick afterwards. Claimed he also didn't see me that way and was interested in meeting people when I said I didn't feel any sparks (I didn't believe him and I think you should be man enough not to tell that you don't when you did). He continued messaging me and suggesting things to which I barely replied. I don't feel attracted to guys who are totally clueless when it comes to women and a woman who takes weeks to reply to your messages is obviously not that interested.

Sounds ok. Not feeling sparks and him trying to play it cool.

 

- Guy #2 had no ideas where to go when I said I would like to go somewhere I can eat something. He was just clueless and I had to make a decision regarding the meeting place. We went and had ice cream. He complained about the ice cream dripping from the cone. Got something to wipe it up and said, "Ice cream - 1 minus point." It wasn't directed at me, but somehow I found it somewhat off putting since ice cream and that place had been my idea.

Sounds like you are looking for some decisiveness in picking a place to eat. Regarding the comment, it sounds like he is showing is geeky humor and it failed. The big question is, how did the conversation and the main meal go?

 

- Guy #3 had a missing tooth in the front row. He was nice, but it was just weird that his tooth was missing. It was a crown that he lost months ago and he just hadn't managed to get it fixed. I thought he was more unusual than I can take.

Attraction and first impressions are key. His first impression coupled with being unusual made you lose interests. The missing tooth is just odd.

 

I don't go out with guys:

 

- whose age preferences is skewed towards younger women. I probably reject about 80% of all guys who contact me for that reason.

- who are much older than me. 10 years is too much.

- who are too overweight with a considerably convex belly. I'm not, because I probably have good genes and because I take care of my weight.

 

I guess there are some other reasons, but these are the first ones that come to my mind.

 

Opinions?

Everyone has preferences, so there is nothing wrong with having them as long as they are realistic. Guys who want kids, a 30 something will skew toward younger women. I don't go below 10 years older and 10 years younger; however i'm skewed toward lower. The 10 years older well it depends on your preferences and age; the most common one is not wanting to date a guy who can be your father.

 

The belly is a sign of physical fitness, so understandable. Guys' belly only get worse with age.

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Ok Guy #1. You didnt feel sparks, so it was what it was. Nothing wrong with moving on. Dunno why theres a problem with the guy saying he didnt feel a spark tho. Its very likely he didnt but still wanted to have a fun time with you but not as a bf/gf situation. Hence him commenting on your "hotness"

 

Guy #2. Dating is a 2 way street. Sometimes I say I dunno where to eat or chill because either I dont have a good idea in my head just yet, or I actually want the girl to make an effort. Its a test to see is a fun gal whos good with hangouts and adventures and what not.

 

I feel a girl who can come up with plans will see our friendship or relationship as being about 2 people, and not just about a guy entertaining a girl....which is what a lot of girls treat dating like. Dont like that. Its annoying that so many women expect me to always pick everything out and suggest what we do, so I sometimes defer decisions to a chick right away to see which gal she is.

 

However, all that being said, I would of just taken what he said about "minus points" as a joke. I do that with my chick friends. I subtract and give kool points to them in a flirty way and they usually catch on and do it back. I dont think it was enough of a reason to get peeved.

 

 

Guy #3 Yikes...I hope it wasnt one of the two immediate front teeth lol. Either way was he at least planning to fix it? I cant blame you on that one...Id be kind of put off by that unless the girl mentioned she was in the process of getting it fixed. Or saving up to fix it. And id reeeally wonder why her teeth were missing. I have braces for 5 years growing up. So straight teeth are big for me, and need to be all there. However, if I meet a really cool chick, I could look past it...but it does factor into attraction.

 

Regarding your last points:

 

- I understand the age preference peeve. But Id cut the guys some slack. I think a lot of times some guys get older and try to recapture their youth through dating younger women. Then there are other guys who are just into younger gals because they want to smash(have sex).

 

Personally I think its a bit off when someone starts going after folks under 23 when they are over 30. Once people hit mid twenties I think the age gap is fine up to ten years, but then after that its usually not realistically workable. And when you really look at this, most relationships where the gap is over 5 years tends to be just sexual. Most people seem to have relationships with someone a few years older or younger than them

 

That being said Im 25 and my preference online says 20 to 30. And thats a stretch for me, as Id much more prefer 22 to 26...but I try and widen my dating pool a little. I would date a woman in up to her early/mid 40s, but just for some fun and novelty tbh. Im still pretty young and wed obviously be in different stages in life, but Id still love the fun of actually being the young and less experienced partner for once while Im still in my youth.

 

And lol @ the belly thing. Im rather picky when it comes to weight myself. I hit the gym and stay in shape and am attracted to others who do so. I dont mind a thick girl though, but I dont see myself dating her seriously unless she got in better shape. I couldnt be in a relationship with someone who I felt I wasnt most attracted to, and Im most attracted to slim or dfit/athletic chicks.

Edited by kaylan
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- who are too overweight with a considerably convex belly. I'm not, because I probably have good genes and because I take care of my weight.

And you were all on my case for not being interested in overweight girls...

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I think I need a reality check.

 

I lost interest in guys for the following reasons:

 

- Guy #1 ad this overly interested look in his eyes when we met. Called me a hot chick afterwards. Claimed he also didn't see me that way and was interested in meeting people when I said I didn't feel any sparks (I didn't believe him and I think you should be man enough not to tell that you don't when you did). He continued messaging me and suggesting things to which I barely replied. I don't feel attracted to guys who are totally clueless when it comes to women and a woman who takes weeks to reply to your messages is obviously not that interested.

- Guy #2 had no ideas where to go when I said I would like to go somewhere I can eat something. He was just clueless and I had to make a decision regarding the meeting place. We went and had ice cream. He complained about the ice cream dripping from the cone. Got something to wipe it up and said, "Ice cream - 1 minus point." It wasn't directed at me, but somehow I found it somewhat off putting since ice cream and that place had been my idea.

- Guy #3 had a missing tooth in the front row. He was nice, but it was just weird that his tooth was missing. It was a crown that he lost months ago and he just hadn't managed to get it fixed. I thought he was more unusual than I can take.

 

I don't go out with guys:

 

- whose age preferences is skewed towards younger women. I probably reject about 80% of all guys who contact me for that reason.

- who are much older than me. 10 years is too much.

- who are too overweight with a considerably convex belly. I'm not, because I probably have good genes and because I take care of my weight.

 

I guess there are some other reasons, but these are the first ones that come to my mind.

 

Opinions?

 

You are aware (I hope) from being on this website that people play the dating game differently based on a) their upbringing, background, and constitution and b) the number of options they have available to them.

 

So while somebody like me is going to say you are too picky, somebody else is going to have no problems with your screening techniques.

 

So, that answers your question.

 

My genuine answer is that, "By being so shallow and narrow, you are eliminating potential partners who could be truly good men that will treat you like your online handle suggests you like to be treated."

 

OK. Now that we've all had a good laugh :lmao::lmao::lmao: at that fantasy, let's get back to reality.

 

Honestly, if you are good looking enough to be picky why not exercise that right. Right?

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Sounds like you are looking for some decisiveness in picking a place to eat. Regarding the comment, it sounds like he is showing is geeky humor and it failed. The big question is, how did the conversation and the main meal go?

The conversation was ok, but I didn't mind that it eventually ended. There was no main meal. I was chatting with him in order to set the place, but since it wasn't really going anywhere (I guess, if I had been a guy and clueless, I would have told the woman, "Hey, let me check some places on the internet and get back to you in 10 minutes."). If I remember it right, in the end, I decided to cook something myself and have ice cream with him.

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Ok Guy #1. You didnt feel sparks, so it was what it was. Nothing wrong with moving on. Dunno why theres a problem with the guy saying he didnt feel a spark tho. Its very likely he didnt but still wanted to have a fun time with you but not as a bf/gf situation. Hence him commenting on your "hotness"

I met some guys and was sure there was no interest, but he was not among them.

 

To rephrase my question: Is it ok to reject a guy, because he is overly interested in you right from the beginning? Or am I just looking for a reason to reject guys?

 

Guy #2. Dating is a 2 way street. Sometimes I say I dunno where to eat or chill because either I dont have a good idea in my head just yet, or I actually want the girl to make an effort. Its a test to see is a fun gal whos good with hangouts and adventures and what not.

 

I feel a girl who can come up with plans will see our friendship or relationship as being about 2 people, and not just about a guy entertaining a girl....which is what a lot of girls treat dating like. Dont like that. Its annoying that so many women expect me to always pick everything out and suggest what we do, so I sometimes defer decisions to a chick right away to see which gal she is.

I think it was the lack of decisiveness and how he handled the awkwardness when we were trying to find a place. I had already asked him and it started to feel like he was really clueless.

 

However, all that being said, I would of just taken what he said about "minus points" as a joke. I do that with my chick friends. I subtract and give kool points to them in a flirty way and they usually catch on and do it back. I dont think it was enough of a reason to get peeved.

No joke, it was a complaint. I'm just not sure if complaining too much is something that should be held against people if you're looking for a long-term relationship.

 

 

Guy #3 Yikes...I hope it wasnt one of the two immediate front teeth lol. Either way was he at least planning to fix it? I cant blame you on that one...Id be kind of put off by that unless the girl mentioned she was in the process of getting it fixed. Or saving up to fix it. And id reeeally wonder why her teeth were missing. I have braces for 5 years growing up. So straight teeth are big for me, and need to be all there. However, if I meet a really cool chick, I could look past it...but it does factor into attraction.

I think it was one of the tooth on the side of the front teeth. He got it knocked out by accident and there was a problem with the screw that only his dentist in his home country could fix. He had been running around like this for at least two months.

 

- I understand the age preference peeve. But Id cut the guys some slack. I think a lot of times some guys get older and try to recapture their youth through dating younger women. Then there are other guys who are just into younger gals because they want to smash(have sex).

I think the former reason is just as bad!

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And you were all on my case for not being interested in overweight girls...

No, first of all, I criticized you for calling her a fatty. Second, you're the one who is complaining all the time that he can't find a woman who is the tiniest bit interested in you. I have more dating prospects than you, but despite this I am examing my criteria because I don't find what I want. Unlike you.

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You are aware (I hope) from being on this website that people play the dating game differently based on a) their upbringing, background, and constitution and b) the number of options they have available to them.

 

So while somebody like me is going to say you are too picky, somebody else is going to have no problems with your screening techniques.

 

So, that answers your question.

And I screen for opinions of posters who matter to me, i.e. those who have been in longer and happy relationships.

 

My genuine answer is that, "By being so shallow and narrow, you are eliminating potential partners who could be truly good men that will treat you like your online handle suggests you like to be treated."

 

OK. Now that we've all had a good laugh :lmao::lmao::lmao: at that fantasy, let's get back to reality.

 

Honestly, if you are good looking enough to be picky why not exercise that right. Right?

You are free to elaborate what I'm missing by being "shallow and narrow".

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PlumpPrincess...you sound a bit weird to be perfectly honest. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm definitely getting a creepy vibe from your posts (especially your constant, bizarre references to "age preferences"). Like attracts like...perhaps that's why you keep meeting all these strange men?

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In all honesty, good or even bad reasons are fine as long as you either have plenty of options to move on to, or can happily grow old and die alone.

 

You could dump a guy because of how he parts his hair, just as long as you have plenty of other guys you can try dating in your quest for Mr Right.

 

 

The ONLY time I come down on someone is when they spent years dumping/rejecting everyone, and then they come out and say:

 

There's no decent men/women out there.

 

Where are all the nice/good men/women?

 

Why are my only options short fat losers or hot guys who won't commit?

 

Why are my only options poor single moms and/or fat ugly women? Where's all the hot single childless women who aren't holding out for guys who look like Bradley Cooper?

 

 

At that point...then you're the one who's been unrealistic because you obviously want someone badly, but held the bar too high for anyone to be considered. You want a man/woman who you will never get.

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eleanorhurting

I think I'm picky too. I hate dating.

 

Maybe give people a chance? more than 1 date? Like the ice cream guy.

 

I went on a blind date where the person who i had just met had 6 drinks in a span of like 4 hours and kept trying to convince me to go over my 2 drink max.

 

He also cursed all night and tried to kiss me several times even though I told him I never kiss people I just met.

 

I guess I do the same things you do. I find things I do not like and I discard people. Trying to work on that...

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And I screen for opinions of posters who matter to me, i.e. those who have been in longer and happy relationships.

 

 

You are free to elaborate what I'm missing by being "shallow and narrow".

 

That's just my opinion. I would never eliminate a woman because she was missing a tooth because she end up being a good woman.

 

You asked for opinions and I stated mine.

 

Feel free to put me on ignore if I bother you.

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In all honesty, good or even bad reasons are fine as long as you either have plenty of options to move on to, or can happily grow old and die alone.

 

You could dump a guy because of how he parts his hair, just as long as you have plenty of other guys you can try dating in your quest for Mr Right.

 

 

The ONLY time I come down on someone is when they spent years dumping/rejecting everyone, and then they come out and say:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At that point...then you're the one who's been unrealistic because you obviously want someone badly, but held the bar too high for anyone to be considered. You want a man/woman who you will never get.

 

PS...

 

I nominate Greekboy for wisest poster on Loveshack.

 

He always says what I want to say without any of the bitter edginess.

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No, first of all, I criticized you for calling her a fatty. Second, you're the one who is complaining all the time that he can't find a woman who is the tiniest bit interested in you. I have more dating prospects than you, but despite this I am examing my criteria because I don't find what I want. Unlike you.

So because I don't have as many prospects as you do, and lets be honest here, you only have more prospects than me because you are a woman, I should have very loose criteria?

 

As for the fatty comment, many men don't hold obese women in very high regard. Calling her a fatty is a (crude) way to say that she is undesirable. Also, she left me after two weeks and started dating somebody else right afterwards, like the very next day, so there is some animosity.

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PlumpPrincess...you sound a bit weird to be perfectly honest. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm definitely getting a creepy vibe from your posts (especially your constant, bizarre references to "age preferences"). Like attracts like...perhaps that's why you keep meeting all these strange men?

Dolt... :rolleyes:

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- I understand the age preference peeve. But Id cut the guys some slack. I think a lot of times some guys get older and try to recapture their youth through dating younger women. Then there are other guys who are just into younger gals because they want to smash(have sex).

 

Personally I'd like to hear her definition of skewed. I mean is -5/+4 skewed?

 

I can give a third reason for looking younger, energy. I have a few more years on my minus side, because I want someone who can keep up with me. Pretty much all the single women I know that are my age or older have fallen into this old maid routine.

 

man: Want to go to a movie Wed. night?

woman: Sure, what time?

man: 10:15!

woman: Oh I can't that's past my bedtime!

man: :confused::confused:

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I think I'm picky too. I hate dating.

 

Maybe give people a chance? more than 1 date? Like the ice cream guy.

 

I went on a blind date where the person who i had just met had 6 drinks in a span of like 4 hours and kept trying to convince me to go over my 2 drink max.

 

He also cursed all night and tried to kiss me several times even though I told him I never kiss people I just met.

 

I guess I do the same things you do. I find things I do not like and I discard people. Trying to work on that...

 

 

I dunno. I think you're in the right. It's one thing if you're a non-drinker and you chastise someone who has two drinks in the night, but another when you're socially drinking and the other person not only puts down too many, but also pushes too far for a first date.

 

I'll get drunk with a GIRLFRIEND, not a woman I just met and am trying to gauge chemistry with.

 

 

 

Even in the case of PlumPrincess, I don't think they were bad reasons. Guy #1 was too needy right off the bat and we all know how much that turns off women. Plus I then wonder if he liked her as a person, or the idea of having a girlfriend. Seen guys who seemingly fall in love with every girl they get a first date with because they really just want a female...doesn't matter who as long as she's hot and not a nag.

 

Guy #2 should be more take-charge. If I ask a woman out I'll have a place in mind to take her. If she doesn't like it, then I know we won't connect. I won't play the "well, what do you like?" game at that point. I will have used context clues from initial conversation to gauge where to take her. So she raves about sushi, then I'll suggest a nice sushi spot.

 

Guy #3 I can understand because it's like when a guy meets a girl and sees she's pushing a lot of weight...thus he's not into her. Again, if PP has plenty of GOOD options to pursue, then she can get a bit picky.

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In all honesty, good or even bad reasons are fine as long as you either have plenty of options to move on to, or can happily grow old and die alone.

 

You could dump a guy because of how he parts his hair, just as long as you have plenty of other guys you can try dating in your quest for Mr Right.

 

 

The ONLY time I come down on someone is when they spent years dumping/rejecting everyone, and then they come out and say:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At that point...then you're the one who's been unrealistic because you obviously want someone badly, but held the bar too high for anyone to be considered. You want a man/woman who you will never get.

Ok, I will think about that.

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The only one of the criteria I think might be hindering you is eliminating guys who are looking for younger women. I'm not saying you should respond to someone whose age limits are, say, 18-21 (ew) but at least give some of them a chance before writing them off entirely. The rest of your turn-offs seem totally reasonable to me, though I know some of the guys on here are going to have a problem with them (although jobaba was pretty nice about it!). Is the problem that you aren't finding anyone to actually be in a LTR with, hence the re-evaluation?

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I think I'm picky too. I hate dating.

 

Maybe give people a chance? more than 1 date? Like the ice cream guy.

 

I went on a blind date where the person who i had just met had 6 drinks in a span of like 4 hours and kept trying to convince me to go over my 2 drink max.

 

He also cursed all night and tried to kiss me several times even though I told him I never kiss people I just met.

 

I guess I do the same things you do. I find things I do not like and I discard people. Trying to work on that...

Did you go out with him again? I hope not!

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That's just my opinion. I would never eliminate a woman because she was missing a tooth because she end up being a good woman.

 

You asked for opinions and I stated mine.

 

Feel free to put me on ignore if I bother you.

I don't feel bothered. And I wasn't being angry. It was a serious question. You would still find her attractive and wouldn't mind sleeping with her?

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As for the fatty comment, many men don't hold obese women in very high regard. Calling her a fatty is a (crude) way to say that she is undesirable. Also, she left me after two weeks and started dating somebody else right afterwards, like the very next day, so there is some animosity.

 

She's undesireable but ended up leaving you...

 

hmmmmm.. interesting.

 

Also. You were only dating for two weeks. She didn't leave you. You never had her.

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As for the fatty comment, many men don't hold obese women in very high regard. Calling her a fatty is a (crude) way to say that she is undesirable. Also, she left me after two weeks and started dating somebody else right afterwards, like the very next day, so there is some animosity.

Perhaps your "fatty" comment struck a nerve with the Plump Princess for a reason? :laugh:

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Personally I'd like to hear her definition of skewed. I mean is -5/+4 skewed?

More like this -12/+1

 

I can give a third reason for looking younger, energy. I have a few more years on my minus side, because I want someone who can keep up with me. Pretty much all the single women I know that are my age or older have fallen into this old maid routine.

Oh God, this is exactly the reason why I don't want to meet them at all. They all think they are so young. I'd like to tell them all to take a good, hard look at themselves.

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