How to Meet Women for dating if Women usually don't do activities i'm into?

[quietGuy13]

Yea. I'm male age early 30s.

 

Basically my hobbies are quiet solo hobbies. All the women out there that i see are into going out with friends, shopping, going to clubs and bars, going traveling etc.

 

-I dont' have friends nor do i like going out with a bunch of people

-I dont' enjoy shoping that much cause i dont have money to throw

-I'm not into clubs and bars

-I hate traveling.

 

So how and where do i meet women, it seems all the things they do include a bunch of people, which are things i don't like.?

 

I'm just a quiet guy and not a good speaker. I always see how women are talkating nonstop with a bunch of people and i'm not into that kind of socialization.

[ditzchic]

You're doing online dating, right?

 

I would venture that girls that have those same views as you and are looking for someone are probably all online. Cuz there's nowhere to go if you don't want to go anywhere.

 

What other interests do you have? There's always a way to socialize around a specific set of interests. You just have to figure out what you are into..

[quietGuy13]

Who said i'm into online dating? I've always said i think it's such a waste of time. Nobody in okcupid.com or facebook crap ever answers. So i don't like online dating at all. It's useless and it doesn't work. I do chat a lot in chat programs but those people live far away in other countries or in america but in other states and i'm not looking for long distance relationsips.

[Cracker Jack]

Maybe you need to start getting into other activities.

[ditzchic]

Well you really don't have many other options. If you're not a social guy you need to go where the not social girls are. That's online dating.

 

Or perhaps bookstores (if they even exist anymore), libraries, museums, art studios. I once picked up a guy that went to the movie theater alone. Perhaps try that? Just get out and do the things that you are interested in doing. That's how you meet like-minded people.

[Feanor]

The thing about dating is sometimes you have to do things you don't like. I'm not huge on shopping but when I'm with someone and she wants to go shopping then I'm going shopping. I'm not huge on dance clubs but I've gone on dates with girls to dance clubs, it was fun when she started grindin' on me.

Definitely do online dating, it'll help since you're broke and don't like to go out but sometimes it can take a while to get a response because girls get tons of messages online. Don't get discouraged. Also, don't say things like "I hate traveling," talk about some of the hobbies you do have. Be positive!

[Dust]

you could go to the park and sit on the bench. Maybe a girl will come over to you.

[CarrieT]

Basically my hobbies are quiet solo hobbies. All the women out there that i see are into going out with friends, shopping, going to clubs and bars, going traveling etc.

 

What are your hobbies? It would help if you shared that.

 

Not ALL the women out there go shopping, clubs, and bars. Some of us read, play chess, hike, build radio-control airplanes, etc...

[Oxy Moronovich]

 

Basically my hobbies are quiet solo hobbies. All the women out there that i see are into going out with friends, shopping, going to clubs and bars, going traveling etc.

 

Dude, if you can't adapt, you're screwed. Either adapt or become a monk. I'm a 27 yr old dude. I used to think only women around my age were only into shopping, clothes, hanging out with friends, gossiping, and television. That's why I've been looking at older women more. Unfortunately, older women aren't much different when it comes to interests. Older women seem to be only interested in the same things as their younger counterparts: shopping, gossiping, and television. The only difference is that they have less time to hang with friends cuz most older women have families and careers.

 

quietGuy, you're going to have to realize women all pretty much like the same things regardless of ethnicity or age. You're gonna need to learn to adapt. That means you're going to need to learn how to enterain women. You don't ned the same hobbies to attract women. Simply learn to entertain them.

[Pasttense]

you could go to the park and sit on the bench. Maybe a girl will come over to you.

 

And have an very friendly dog with you who goes over to everyone.

 

Try adult education courses, religious organizations, all kinds of special interest clubs.

[jobaba]

Dude, if you can't adapt, you're screwed. Either adapt or become a monk. I'm a 27 yr old dude. I used to think only women around my age were only into shopping, clothes, hanging out with friends, gossiping, and television. That's why I've been looking at older women more. Unfortunately, older women aren't much different when it comes to interests. Older women seem to be only interested in the same things as their younger counterparts: shopping, gossiping, and television. The only difference is that they have less time to hang with friends cuz most older women have families and careers.

 

quietGuy, you're going to have to realize women all pretty much like the same things regardless of ethnicity or age. You're gonna need to learn to adapt. That means you're going to need to learn how to enterain women. You don't ned the same hobbies to attract women. Simply learn to entertain them.

 

This...

 

Either learn to adapt or go off in a corner and die off and be quiet about it.

 

If you're an undesirable guy, you've gotta go out there and claw and scratch and compete. And you've got a WAYS to go bud...

[CarrieT]

You guys that keep posting that all women are the same and that women expect to be entertained are seriously dating the wrong women - or believe that women are as shallow as the posters seem to be.

 

Women - just like men - came in all different varieties; those that are shy, like simple hobbies, and don't care about dancing, clubs, or shopping. If these are the only types of women that you have interaction with, then it shows me that you are myopic in your view and with whom you are hanging out.

 

I have girlfriends who race cars, run marathons, slaughter pigs, write books, make cheese, and play music. Not a single one of these women are into clubs or bars. Only the woman who slaughters pigs drinks a lot but that is because she makes wine and it is her profession. Personally, I hate shopping.

 

I am willing to bet it is more about attitude -- yours -- and how you are looking at the world in general with such a huge chip on your shoulder which is keeping you from presenting a positive disposition which any person (man or woman) finds appealing and attractive.

[allina]

Women - just like men - came in all different varieties; those that are shy, like simple hobbies, and don't care about dancing, clubs, or shopping. If these are the only types of women that you have interaction with, then it shows me that you are myopic in your view and with whom you are hanging out.

 

I have girlfriends who race cars, run marathons, slaughter pigs, write books, make cheese, and play music. Not a single one of these women are into clubs or bars.

 

You're right but that isn't really the point here. The OP is a man who has zero friends, lives at home, has no job prospects, no hobbies, cannot communicate with peers, fears the outside world, all at the age of 30-something.

 

This is not about not wanting to go out drinking and clubbing. Lets be real here.

[Wolf18]

You guys that keep posting that all women are the same and that women expect to be entertained are seriously dating the wrong women - or believe that women are as shallow as the posters seem to be.

 

Women - just like men - came in all different varieties; those that are shy, like simple hobbies, and don't care about dancing, clubs, or shopping. If these are the only types of women that you have interaction with, then it shows me that you are myopic in your view and with whom you are hanging out.

 

I have girlfriends who race cars, run marathons, slaughter pigs, write books, make cheese, and play music. Not a single one of these women are into clubs or bars. Only the woman who slaughters pigs drinks a lot but that is because she makes wine and it is her profession. Personally, I hate shopping.

 

I am willing to bet it is more about attitude -- yours -- and how you are looking at the world in general with such a huge chip on your shoulder which is keeping you from presenting a positive disposition which any person (man or woman) finds appealing and attractive.

 

 

Of course there are exceptions but that's not the point.

 

The point is that your girlfriends are married or have boyfriends, they can "be themselves" and it "just happens". For guys, we have to go out and ask every woman out before they say yes, and the undeniable fact is that most women indeed have the same interests.

 

I've followed your advice for the last 3 years carrie, and once in a while hit the jack pot and meet a girl whose different. When I do hit the jackpot and meet her, there's either no physical or financial attraction (always on her end, for these "different" girls of course), she's got a boyfriend, or there's some other obstacle in the way.

 

So I can wait to meet the right women, about 2 women a year in my experience, and not ever get laid, which is my current tactic or a guy could try being more mainstream and maybe get some punani out of it. I'm not going to do it personally because I can't stand being someone I'm not even if that's what most girls are looking for, but it sure makes sense if you're a guy whose got a Machiavellian view of getting women.

[Lowib]

You don't like to travel? I say lighten up and go with it. Girls aren't all the same.

 

I meet them through work, at the bank, at the mall, in grocery stores, at the gym, in sports leagues, through friends, at bars, at parties.....should I go on?

 

Get out there buddy, live like your living.

[jobaba]

You guys that keep posting that all women are the same and that women expect to be entertained are seriously dating the wrong women - or believe that women are as shallow as the posters seem to be.

 

Women - just like men - came in all different varieties; those that are shy, like simple hobbies, and don't care about dancing, clubs, or shopping. If these are the only types of women that you have interaction with, then it shows me that you are myopic in your view and with whom you are hanging out.

 

I have girlfriends who race cars, run marathons, slaughter pigs, write books, make cheese, and play music. Not a single one of these women are into clubs or bars. Only the woman who slaughters pigs drinks a lot but that is because she makes wine and it is her profession. Personally, I hate shopping.

 

I am willing to bet it is more about attitude -- yours -- and how you are looking at the world in general with such a huge chip on your shoulder which is keeping you from presenting a positive disposition which any person (man or woman) finds appealing and attractive.

 

Common interests will have no bearing if the woman has no attraction to you. If you are not good looking, are generally boring and lack confidence and social skills and have virtually no experience with women in your 30s, you are quite frankly ... f@cked. And that seems to describe the OP in a nutshell.

 

He needs to broaden his horizons and get some friends.

[quietGuy13]

To the person who said

 

"

Originally Posted by CarrieT

You guys that keep posting that all women are the same and that women expect to be entertained are seriously dating the wrong women - or believe that women are as shallow as the posters seem to be.

 

Women - just like men - came in all different varieties; those that are shy, like simple hobbies, and don't care about dancing, clubs, or shopping. If these are the only types of women that you have interaction with, then it shows me that you are myopic in your view and with whom you are hanging out. "

 

Yeah what I was trying to say is that MOST WOMEN are social.

Time and time again for example, i keep seeing Women at work, in schools, etc go with the talkative or loud or playboy guys NO MATTER if they're shy themselves. They just love those loud guys or talkative guys.

 

"Common interests will have no bearing if the woman has no attraction to you. If you are not good looking, are generally boring and lack confidence and social skills and have virtually no experience with women in your 30s, you are quite frankly ... f@cked. And that seems to describe the OP in a nutshell.

 

He needs to broaden his horizons and get some friends."

 

Yeah and not even 1 woman is attracted to me and yes I'm not good looking and don't have social skills. I told you I have speaking disabilities. So i'm not gonna turn into a great talker magically.

 

That sucks that i'm f@cked. I've been seeng alot of girls that im attracted to, all the time when i go to downtown and i go everyday cause i started doing some thing recently related to job searching.

 

And it sucks It just makes me feel so bad when i see these girls. Cause i know i'll never have one as my girl:lmao:

[Oxy Moronovich]

You guys that keep posting that all women are the same and that women expect to be entertained are seriously dating the wrong women - or believe that women are as shallow as the posters seem to be.

 

Women - just like men - came in all different varieties; those that are shy, like simple hobbies, and don't care about dancing, clubs, or shopping. If these are the only types of women that you have interaction with, then it shows me that you are myopic in your view and with whom you are hanging out.

 

Why is it whenever a guy mentions the shallow behavior of women he gets the whole, "You're just meeting the wrong women" comment. 99% of all men could say women are shallow and still women would say men are meeting the wrong women.

I have girlfriends who race cars, run marathons, slaughter pigs, write books, make cheese, and play music. Not a single one of these women are into clubs or bars. Only the woman who slaughters pigs drinks a lot but that is because she makes wine and it is her profession. Personally, I hate shopping.

 

I am willing to bet it is more about attitude -- yours -- and how you are looking at the world in general with such a huge chip on your shoulder which is keeping you from presenting a positive disposition which any person (man or woman) finds appealing and attractive.

Here's another typical response to criticism women make: "I'm not like that. And none of my friends are like that. So what you're saying about women isn't true."

 

Women are not swayed by intellectualism. If they were then geeks and nerds would be alpha males. A man needs to have charm or be entertaining to get women.

[oaks]

So how and where do i meet women, it seems all the things they do include a bunch of people, which are things i don't like.?

 

Have you really never asked this question before in this forum? It seems very familiar...

 

Anyway, broadly speaking, if you aren't meeting women then you need to change something. They aren't going to knock on your door. Options include:

 

Your therapy group.

Self-help groups for people with similar health issues to you.

Enthusiast/fan groups for your hobbies. (I don't believe that your hobbies are exclusively male-only, unless your hobby is masturbating, but even then...)

Conventions/exhibitions relating to your hobbies.

Get some new hobbies. Try something new for 6 months, then put that to one side and try another one. You might learn some interesting crafts/skills along the way, as well as perhaps meeting people.

In line at the grocery store.

Online dating.

[bean1]

You sound like my husband Hates travel, loves video games, goes to the grocery store at 8am on a Sunday to avoid society....

 

However, he had to go outside his comfort zone to find women. Unless you put an advertisement in a paper with your address, how are they even supposed to know you exist?

 

I was very social, very into the bar scene/restaurants/movies/travel, but we met through online dating based on one of our more solo hobbies (weightlifting) and yes, he had to venture through the restaurant scene for a few weeks to woo me.

 

Now, we stay at home pretty much every night (easy enough with a toddler), watch our nerdy shows (Futurama), and haven't been to a bar/club in about 3 years.

 

My point is this - just because you need to go out of your comfort zone to find a woman does not mean you need to stay there! There are plenty of girls doing the same thing in order to meet a guy just like you.

 

Good luck

[Els]

Why is it whenever a guy mentions the shallow behavior of women he gets the whole, "You're just meeting the wrong women" comment. 99% of all men could say women are shallow and still women would say men are meeting the wrong women.

 

Why is it that you refuse to believe that you could be wrong about what 'all women are like'? 99% of all women could tell you that they're not like that and still you would claim that all women are shallow.

[jobaba]

"Common interests will have no bearing if the woman has no attraction to you. If you are not good looking, are generally boring and lack confidence and social skills and have virtually no experience with women in your 30s, you are quite frankly ... f@cked. And that seems to describe the OP in a nutshell.

 

He needs to broaden his horizons and get some friends."

Yeah and not even 1 woman is attracted to me and yes I'm not good looking and don't have social skills. I told you I have speaking disabilities. So i'm not gonna turn into a great talker magically.

 

That sucks that i'm f@cked. I've been seeng alot of girls that im attracted to, all the time when i go to downtown and i go everyday cause i started doing some thing recently related to job searching.

 

And it sucks It just makes me feel so bad when i see these girls. Cause i know i'll never have one as my girl:lmao:

 

Yup. That's the way of the world. I've barely had women be physically attracted to me either. But I've managed to get some.

 

Nobody cares about guys like you and I. They want to see you just crawl off and die. But I can help you if you're serious about getting a woman. PM me or continue to post here.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Why is it that you refuse to believe that you could be wrong about what 'all women are like'? 99% of all women could tell you that they're not like that and still you would claim that all women are shallow.

It's true. All women are shallow. I talk to older women and younger women. The conversations are all alike. Women are never wooed by intellectualism. Men can never stimulate women mentally. It's impossible. Men can only stimulate women emotionally.

 

The point is that your girlfriends are married or have boyfriends, they can "be themselves" and it "just happens". For guys, we have to go out and ask every woman out before they say yes, and the undeniable fact is that most women indeed have the same interests.

 

This is pretty much the truth. Guys find the whole process of getting to know women boring because it's empty. If you've spoken to one woman, you've spoken to them all. Some women are bad, some are good. But deep down they're all the same.

 

A guy needs one or two things to get women: be charming or be entertaining. Since only the minority of men have charm, the rest of us can make up for it by being entertaining. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Alpha males and nice guys both have one thing in common: they know women are all the same. The only difference is that nice guys lament this fact while alphas accept this fact.

[iris219]

Have you tried to find programs in your area that work with developmentally disabled individuals? I have a friend who works for a company that provides services for such individuals. They have dances and bowling once a month for their clients so they can meet and interact with similar people. My friend's clients make friends and find dates at these events. Would a program like this appeal to you?*

[ditzchic]

Why is it whenever a guy mentions the shallow behavior of women he gets the whole, "You're just meeting the wrong women" comment. 99% of all men could say women are shallow and still women would say men are meeting the wrong women.

 

 

 

Pareto principle. 80% of the men are chasing 20% of women. The top 20% of women who don't really need to develop any kind of interests or personality to get chased. Men want the shallow women. Why? Because shallow women are hot. They have lots of friends, lots to do, on the outside they look like a great catch. Until you get to know them realize it's a shallow facade.

 

If you're lucky enough to land a good looking woman with a lot going on who happens to run deep, you decide she's too much work. And the not so fortunate looking one's who run really deep never even get talked to.

 

I'm not saying women are any better. We run into the same problems. Our human nature will shoot us in the foot everytime. That's why no one ever said finding that someone special was easy.