Is this domestic Violence?

[Untouchable_Fire]

I just saw this clip on CNN.

 

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c2#/video/showbiz/2011/11/29/drew-kardashian-marriage.hln

 

The commentators are just absolutely freaking out, but I don't see the big deal. Sometimes you get mad and just snap. I've learned to control that stuff because it's very possible I could hurt somebody... but Kim Kardashian couldn't hurt me if she tried.

 

Do you guys think this is domestic abuse?

[D-Lish]

She's a fricken moron, stupid as a brick (except a brick is more useful).

 

Yes, it's technically abuse, she lashed out at him physically. If he'd done the same, everyone would be freaking out- it is a bit of a double standard.

 

Just because she punches like a girl doesn't make what she did okay.

[dasein]

With a camera there and the "reality tv" vibe to egg people into acting out to get ratings and boost their brand? No, not domestic violence. If the camera wasn't there and that was a normal non reality tv couple? Yes, absolutely domestic violence. Hell for all we know they did 5 takes of it LOL.

 

I've seen that look in the eyes before and there's nothing playful or harmless about it. If he had his back turned and she had a shoe, hair dryer, or wine glass in her hand, the results wouldn't look so harmless. It's the intent, not the end result, and the intent in that clip is unmistakeable. I don't really blame the talking heads for making a deal of it as their young audience needs to hear that message loud and clear, even if it's overdone. They are just rating whores themselves, after all, which is fine, it's the way they make a living.

[Woggle]

If the genders were reversed nobody would dispute. I think he dodged a bullet.

[Untouchable_Fire]

She's a fricken moron, stupid as a brick (except a brick is more useful).

Yes, it's technically abuse, she lashed out at him physically. If he'd done the same, everyone would be freaking out- it is a bit of a double standard.

Just because she punches like a girl doesn't make what she did okay.

 

She is media royalty... They paid like $26 million just to tape her wedding.

 

I don't think this constitutes domestic abuse any more than him stepping on her toe and breaking the nail. That probably hurt like hell... and she just snapped momentarily.

[D-Lish]

She is media royalty... They paid like $26 million just to tape her wedding.

 

I don't think this constitutes domestic abuse any more than him stepping on her toe and breaking the nail. That probably hurt like hell... and she just snapped momentarily.

 

Really?

 

She tantrumed and threw punches at him.

 

It's not taken seriously because she isn't capable of doing damage. The intent was still there- she demonstrated a lack of ability to maintain control.

 

Imagine if she stepped on his toe and he lacked the control to throw a punch at her?

 

If a bf of mine accidentally stepped on my freshly manicured toes, I wouldn't even think to punch him.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Really?

She tantrumed and threw punches at him.

It's not taken seriously because she isn't capable of doing damage. The intent was still there- she demonstrated a lack of ability to maintain control.

Imagine if she stepped on his toe and he lacked the control to throw a punch at her?

If a bf of mine accidentally stepped on my freshly manicured toes, I wouldn't even think to punch him.

 

Well if that is domestic abuse, then I have been the victim of more abuse than anyone I know. However, it isn't domestic violence.

 

If he shoved her after she broke his toe that wouldn't be domestic violence either.

 

I think DV requires a pattern and be focused on controlling the victim.

[AHardDaysNight]

Yes, it is domestic violence. She intended to hurt him...the fact that he was bigger, and stronger, than her, doesn't mean that it wasn't domestic violence!

 

Let me ask you this: if it was a wimpy little skinny guy taking a punch at a muscular girlfriend, and she grabbed his hand and twisted it, would it be considered the same? Yeah, he would probably get jokes about it...but since he's a man, it doesn't matter if he had the same punch as Kim's. He'd still be charged for assault!

[dasein]

I think DV requires a pattern and be focused on controlling the victim.

 

Doesn't take much of a pattern to pull a trigger or stab someone. Sure there's the pattern abuse, but there's also the passion/self control type abuse too.

[Jynxx]

Yes it is. No doubt about it.

 

And how can anyone not throw stuff at their TV when watching that annoying dude and that ADD chick on a major coke bender for 10 seconds?

[Star Gazer]

He didn't intentionally break her toe nail.

 

Look at her face as she winds up her punching arm. She was hoping to hurt him. Just because she didn't, and likely couldn't given the difference in their sizes, means nothing.

 

And man... Dr. Drew is HAWT.

[Els]

Yes, it is domestic violence. She intended to hurt him...the fact that he was bigger, and stronger, than her, doesn't mean that it wasn't domestic violence!

 

Let me ask you this: if it was a wimpy little skinny guy taking a punch at a muscular girlfriend, and she grabbed his hand and twisted it, would it be considered the same? Yeah, he would probably get jokes about it...but since he's a man, it doesn't matter if he had the same punch as Kim's. He'd still be charged for assault!

 

Well, to me, 'abuse' is not really the same thing as 'morally being in the wrong'. Intentions count in terms of morals, but the actual effect on the victim is the more important consideration when talking about 'abuse'. If a small child tried to punch his mom in a fit of rage, I would not call it abuse either. If a muscular woman punched a wimpy man and did significant damage akin to a man punching a woman, I would absolutely call it abuse.

[Wolf18]

Man I've gotten far worse. I've had girls throw punches at me, then bite my arm until it draws blood!! One day I was drunk and had this girl jump on my back in a rage when I wasn't expecting it, I grabbed her and threw her as far from me as possible (it was grassy so it's not like she was going to get hurt). Got a few boo boo's and suddenly I'm an abuser . Had another girl stop talking to me, she sucker punched me in the face because she was in a bad mood, so I threw a trash bag at her and she was covered in filth and said I was horrible I don't know if all women are like this or if I just have really bad luck. If you have a problem with something I say or do , tell me, but don't go to the hands that won't end well for anyone.

 

If you want equal rights, get ready for equal fights. A lot of women are used to doormats that will take the beating and ask for seconds, but some men who've had a hard life have a knee jerk to a punch in the face and women can get hurt. I hear men in the Balkans have a good cure for women who think they aren't accountable http://youtu.be/L6dn6jq-IwQ

[shayla]

I am more concerned by the rough way that he "played" with Kim. That is not a good sign at all. The way he kept talking about "fat" she is.

 

This is called power and control. I am not saying that Kim was right to punch him.

 

I am just saying that this happened in my marriage, and before I knew it, I was being physically restrained and covering up black eyes.

[AHardDaysNight]

I am more concerned by the rough way that he "played" with Kim. That is not a good sign at all. The way he kept talking about "fat" she is.

 

This is called power and control. I am not saying that Kim was right to punch him.

 

I am just saying that this happened in my marriage, and before I knew it, I was being physically restrained and covering up black eyes.

 

I don't know what you're talking about, since I don't watch trash like that.

 

The only part of this show I've ever seen was the short clip they showed in the video.

[AHardDaysNight]

He should have responded by kicking her in the vagina.

 

Then we'd all have something to gossip about.

 

That is an incredibly sick thing to say.

[blueskyday]

Yep, abuse. No doubt. Sickening.

 

Dr. Drew is right. We must keep our boundaries tight around abuse. It always starts out in some "small" way that we question whether or not it is abuse, and then it escalates as our boundaries move.

 

I don't even let my sons use language like "I raped you in that game." We must have a zero tolerance policy about abuse, whether verbal, emotional or physical.

 

Call it for what it is. Abuse. She's such a brat.

[blueskyday]

I'm talking about the use of the word "rape" in sports games. It's not acceptable under any circumstances to use that word in the context of overpowering someone in a sports game, or sexual game for that matter.

 

It is abusive and disrespectful to any woman (or man, or child) who has been raped.

 

I have been in abusive relationships, and through extensive group therapy. I've also studied psychology on the graduate school level.

 

I know what I'm talking about here. Language like that is a way to lower boundaries and disrepect women.

 

Once a woman is disrespected and objectified, abuse is the next step. Offensive languaging is often the first step to abuse.

 

Self-defense, by the way, is not abuse. If a woman kicks a guy in the testicles to get away from his abuse, then it's not abuse. It is self-protective.

Edited November 30, 2011 by blueskyday

[dasein]

I'm talking about the use of the word "rape" in sports games. It's not acceptable under any circumstances to use that word.

 

Good for you for training your children. When I was young, prepubescent, I used the word "rape" in public once without really knowing what it was, to describe a couple who were making out, something like "just rape her already." It created a family stink and I had to make an embarrassing apology to the people, who were not at all amused by my immature "joke." My parents didn't even know where I learned the word, nor did I, so they weren't to blame. Today, I imagine it gets tossed around in gaming whatnot, with all the media outlets I bet kids start hearing it at a very early age.

[blueskyday]

Thanks, Dasein! My boys had the same experience as you. They never really thought about it until their dad and I talked with them about it.

 

You are right. Those terms get thrown around and kids hear them early on. It's up to us parents to say, "Wait a minute. Do you understand what you are saying?"

 

Sounds like it made you think, too, and become a more sensitive man.

 

My ex husband (the kids' dad) was an abuser. He went through many years of therapy, and now sees that the programming he received growing up was all wrong.

 

He does not tolerate his sons using any derogatory terms about women.

 

He says that is what makes men grow up thinking women aren't human beings, but rather objects without any feelings or needs....and creates a good environment for possible abuse to grow..

[blueskyday]

Oh, I love men. I just don't like abusers.

 

I've raised thoughtful, sensitive sons who do well in school and treat people well.

 

They would never post the crap you just did.

[dasein]

Nah. Using the word "rape" in public as a joke or whatever is not cool. If for no other reason than that it is so inflammatory in ways other violent words aren't today. The couple in my experience weren't dry humping each other, just making out. Sure they were rude too, but my parents didn't care about them and their upraising, not their responsibility, they wanted to send a clear message to me.

 

I was upset and embarrassed, not traumatized, and do just fine with women thanks.

 

There are plenty of ways to trash talk in sports and games without using rape, though there is a point to what you are saying in that the same stigma that attaches to "rape" does not attach to "murder," "kill," "slaughter," "butcher," worse acts than rape. Regardless, there's no way to blame parents for training their children not to bandy about the word "rape." If nothing else, it's the same as teaching them not to scream "fire" in crowded theaters. There may be communities where tossing the word "rape" around isn't highly inflammatory, but I haven't experienced any.