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Fear of only sleeping together


RRKaizen

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I wrote this memo before discussing the situation with my girlfriend. She does not allow me to sleep over and in her bed because she is afraid we'll lose out on passionate raw sex once we have it. I think it's BS but I feel bad insisting that we sleep together. Two more possibly important facts. We actually did sleep together I'm her bed a year ago when we were not dating. Got close to sex but still no. We've been dating for 1 month or so but have known each other for 4 years. She knows I am crazy about her.

 

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This whole fear of sleeping together and not having sex because "it will ruin the passion of sex in the first phase of a relationship...*

 

A) Making me think you don't want sexual intimacy.*

B) I don't have much time with you all week. I am only in town on weekends. Sleeping with you and waking up with you would double our time together. It would also allow me to sleep better.

C) I am really not worried about sex... Between you and Erica the circumstances are very different. I am not Max. Frankly, I really don't care to compare our relationship with theirs. At all. I don't see why I have to see my girlfriend for only a few hours every weekend because Max has traditional, boring sex.

D) You're putting a ton of pressure on the sex. If for some reason, it's*

not right the first time, I have a fear I'll never sleep next to you...

E) I need intimacy and an emotional connection before having sex...

F) Your parents are not home. By the time they get back I would theoretically be able to sleep with you but they'll be home so I won't be allowed.

G) Rawness and passion fizzles without an emotional connection.

H) We already cuddle on the couch or on the floor. What's the difference with your bed? "I'll never want you to leave" is not really valid...

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