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Facing a Big Dilemma


dassme

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Hello everyone! It's me again and I have another question to post on this forum. Not too long ago I posted a question about dating someone older than you and the responses I received were positive and helpful. This time around I'm in a bit of a dilemma and I really need advice on this one too.

 

During Christmas Day, I met my GF's parents for the very first time. Everything went well and from what I was told from my GF, they liked me very much. Just yesterday, I brought my GF home to my parents and the were talking to her normally. Conversation went very well and I felt a bit of relief when I saw my dad and mom laughing with her on different topics of conversation.

 

Today was a different story with my parents. They were asking me questions which made me feel like I was a kid. I'm 29 years old turning 30 very soon. My GF is 38, recently divorced and has two children. My mom said something which really caught me off guard and hurt me a little bit. In a few years my parents are retireing and I think they're moving back home. ( To their native country) All I want is for my parents to respect my decisions and stop being controlling. I know they're doing what most parents would do in this type of situation but I'm an adult and I want to be left alone and do what I feel is right.

 

I feel like I'm in limbo right now. I need some insight on this one!!! Really!!!

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I would tell my parents that it isn't about if they like her or not. It is about if I liked her. It is my life and my emotions on the line here.

 

They have lived their lives, they have made their choices and they have broughtme up to be able to be independant and make my own choices.

 

They need to back off and let me live the life they gave me and realise that just because they gave life to me, does mean they can live it for me.

 

Good luck, I am so thankful my parents, while annoying let me make my own choices in life.

 

Kat

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waitingfordecember

Tell your mom that her comment was unappreciated and hurtful. Ask her what made her say it.

 

I've been in the same situation. Not the age one per se, but when I bring a boyfriend home (I'm a bisexual male) my mother often tears them to pieces and says numerous hurtful things. She maintains she supports "Who I am" but often actions speak louder then words.

 

I've stopped talking to my parents about my choice in relationships. I bring things up occasionally, but in the end it's really none of their business. To say the hurtful things shes said, she has lost the privlidge of knowing about my love life. Until she can come to terms truly with my sexuality and choice of partners, then she'll be left in the dark.

 

My advice for you is to do the same.

 

First, confront her about your issue. If she is rude, abrupt or not understanding then I guess my advice would to be to cut her out of the loop. Atleast for now.

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You need to be honest and open with your parents, as you are an adult. They might be nervous about this girl for you, but sometimes you need to fall on your face to learn things. Not saying she is bad for you, but they may think so.

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