LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

When do you decide to give up on online dating?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th October 2011, 4:28 PM   #1
Established Member
 
fortyninethousand322's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 7,467
When do you decide to give up on online dating?

I know, I know. Online dating isn't the best place to be looking for dates, it's contrived, it's forced, it's best used as a backup plan, etc.

But, I am at my wits end with online dating. I've had my account reviewed by two different people, fixed some stuff on it, and cleaned it up. For whatever reason I'm just not getting any responses, it's been this way for over a year now. Some of the women have at least looked at my profile before not replying but most don't even do that.

I don't know, is online dating really that big of a joke? Should I just say "the hell with it" and end my involvement in it?
__________________
Time is a flat circle.
fortyninethousand322 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:35 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 48,625
If you don't feel like doing it, don't. That's my rule of thumb. I did a lot of it back in the 90's before getting married and dabbled for a couple months last year and, not feeling like it anymore, closed it out and forgot about it.

I don't think it's a joke; it's a legitimate tool to meet people. Big wide world out there and all kinds of people in it. OLD is a reflection of that.

If you're burnt out, try something else or, like I'm doing, do nothing.
carhill is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:42 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Africa Hot
Posts: 640
I've done it on and off for years. Never met anyone I connected with on a real level. Many were married, but seperated and just "seeing what's out there". Many had tons of baggage, ex-wives, girlfriends, kids (one guy had 6 - eek!)

I met some looking to cheat. I met some I'd never even consider dating. I met guys who were rude or drunks.

Needless to say - I never met one I had any type of long-er term dating with. I met guys just looking for sex. And mostly I met a bunch of serial daters who just used it as another way to meet women but not really have a relationship with.

As someone who's been single since 2000, and has tried pretty much every dating site there is...I can say I won't spend any more money on them unless I'm just looking to meet random people.

Have you tried a singles group? I know they have them out here...I think they're nation wide.
azsinglegal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:43 PM   #4
ptp
Established Member
 
ptp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Blue Dot
Posts: 2,800
Never tried OLD so can't really give advice , but 2 of my friends have had a similar level of success as you.

Don't know if that really helps, but at least you know you aren't the only one.
ptp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:44 PM   #5
Established Member
 
fortyninethousand322's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 7,467
I thought it was a legitimate tool to meet people, but when you only meet 1 person in 18+ months of trying to meet people it gets a little aggravating. You get to thinking like "wow, do all these women really not want to meet me, or at least exchange a few emails"?.
fortyninethousand322 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:46 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Africa Hot
Posts: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by fortyninethousand322 View Post
I thought it was a legitimate tool to meet people, but when you only meet 1 person in 18+ months of trying to meet people it gets a little aggravating. You get to thinking like "wow, do all these women really not want to meet me, or at least exchange a few emails"?.
What's happening exactly? Endless emails?

I always want to meet within the first few days of emailing with someone. I can tell almost immediately if we'll get along or not. And to see if I'm physically attracted to them.
azsinglegal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:48 PM   #7
Established Member
 
fortyninethousand322's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 7,467
Quote:
Originally Posted by azsinglegal View Post
I've done it on and off for years. Never met anyone I connected with on a real level. Many were married, but seperated and just "seeing what's out there". Many had tons of baggage, ex-wives, girlfriends, kids (one guy had 6 - eek!)

I met some looking to cheat. I met some I'd never even consider dating. I met guys who were rude or drunks.

Needless to say - I never met one I had any type of long-er term dating with. I met guys just looking for sex. And mostly I met a bunch of serial daters who just used it as another way to meet women but not really have a relationship with.

As someone who's been single since 2000, and has tried pretty much every dating site there is...I can say I won't spend any more money on them unless I'm just looking to meet random people.

Have you tried a singles group? I know they have them out here...I think they're nation wide.
Well it's okucpid and plentyoffish that I have accounts on. Both are free so I'm not wasting any money. And I'm only 23 so I have no kids, I'm looking for a relationship and I have no baggage (never actually been in a relationship to have baggage).

I don't know about a singles group. I looked online on meetup for one (as well as other groups that I'd be interested in). Most are about 45 minutes to an hour away from where I live so it's tough to work up motivation to actually go to any of them.
fortyninethousand322 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:51 PM   #8
Established Member
 
fortyninethousand322's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 7,467
Quote:
Originally Posted by azsinglegal View Post
What's happening exactly? Endless emails?

I always want to meet within the first few days of emailing with someone. I can tell almost immediately if we'll get along or not. And to see if I'm physically attracted to them.
Yeah that's what I would like to do, exchange about 2 emails then meet up. But literally no woman will respond to an email that I write. The last response I got was back in March and it was a girl who deleted her account the next day. One girl met up with me twice back in February and then quickly disappeared. Otherwise...zilch.
fortyninethousand322 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:52 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 48,625
I would opine that, for people who live in cities, there are enough other options to obviate the time and expense of OLD. I noted that when much younger and living in a moderate sized city. Out here in the boonies, all the women appear to be married so OLD helps cast a wider net without investing a ton of money into travel expense. As an example, I met my exW OLD and she lived sixty miles away.

If I lived in a city I'd do community involvement stuff and socialize more and meet women that way. Friends still set me up occasionally but no fruit and no frustration. Life goes on.

OP, back when I OLD'd, I was lucky to get one response out of ten sincere, topical, heartfelt approaches, with a bit more luck with women internationally. That's how it was. Normal. That's what got me started dating internationally, simply because I found I could actually have a discourse with someone. Something for everyone.

You'll find your path. Maybe OLD just isn't it.
carhill is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:54 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Mrlonelyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 4,952
It's like azsinglegal said. There are sooooo many people involve with OLD who don't treat it as seriously as someone who really wants a RLship thinks they would. By which I mean it's just a online game, a place to get free sexy chat without paying, a place to get validation that they still have it etc.

I have tried OLD all kinds of ways before. The best option for finding an RLship in my opinion is just to go through life and let it happen when it happens. If you are in a place where there aren't a TON of singles then change scenery to a place where there are some. Living in a town or city neighborhood with plenty of available people does way more for you than online dating ever will.
Mrlonelyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:56 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Africa Hot
Posts: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by fortyninethousand322 View Post
Well it's okucpid and plentyoffish that I have accounts on. Both are free so I'm not wasting any money. And I'm only 23 so I have no kids, I'm looking for a relationship and I have no baggage (never actually been in a relationship to have baggage).

I don't know about a singles group. I looked online on meetup for one (as well as other groups that I'd be interested in). Most are about 45 minutes to an hour away from where I live so it's tough to work up motivation to actually go to any of them.
Well, I can tell you right now it's the sites your on. If you want to meet someone who might actually MEET you try match.com or chemistry.com.

From what I know the two you're on are mainly to meet people for sex and that's it. I know paying might seem like a PITA but you might have better luck. I met people from match.com and yahoo.com but nothing ever panned out as far as a relationship. I also didn't present myself in the best light on both of those sites, I went for funny/sarcastic and most men don't want someone who's a total smartass (oops).

I live an hour from my job. 45 min is NOTHING if you want to actually get off your toosh and meet people. Seriously, what do you have to lose? A couple hours of your time at most. I live in a pretty rural area so anywhere I go is a 40-45 min drive.

Take a chance. How will you know unless you try? You're much younger then me so maybe you might have better luck. Have you checked out local colleges and events? Google "singles groups" in your area and see waht's out there.

How about the gym? Do you work out? I know mine is packed with folks your age looking to meet up. There are lots of things you can do if you do the legwork.
azsinglegal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 4:58 PM   #12
Established Member
 
fortyninethousand322's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 7,467
Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill View Post
I would opine that, for people who live in cities, there are enough other options to obviate the time and expense of OLD. I noted that when much younger and living in a moderate sized city. Out here in the boonies, all the women appear to be married so OLD helps cast a wider net without investing a ton of money into travel expense. As an example, I met my exW OLD and she lived sixty miles away.

If I lived in a city I'd do community involvement stuff and socialize more and meet women that way. Friends still set me up occasionally but no fruit and no frustration. Life goes on.

OP, back when I OLD'd, I was lucky to get one response out of ten sincere, topical, heartfelt approaches, with a bit more luck with women internationally. That's how it was. Normal. That's what got me started dating internationally, simply because I found I could actually have a discourse with someone. Something for everyone.

You'll find your path. Maybe OLD just isn't it.
Yeah that's what I had heard is the typical response rate. I'm running at about 1% by last calculation.

My hope using OLD was to hopefully meet a few people maybe go on a few dates get rid of some of my shyness you know get a little confidence so that I could do better in the other avenues of meeting women. Or, I figured maybe I'd get lucky and meet someone nice on there too, but I wasn't expecting to.
fortyninethousand322 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 5:02 PM   #13
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 33,709
Quote:
Originally Posted by fortyninethousand322 View Post
I don't know, is online dating really that big of a joke? Should I just say "the hell with it" and end my involvement in it?
i gave up on online dating when i figured out it was a major scam
__________________
"I'm learning to fly...but I ain't got wings"

- Tom Petty
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 5:02 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Africa Hot
Posts: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by fortyninethousand322 View Post
Yeah that's what I had heard is the typical response rate. I'm running at about 1% by last calculation.

My hope using OLD was to hopefully meet a few people maybe go on a few dates get rid of some of my shyness you know get a little confidence so that I could do better in the other avenues of meeting women. Or, I figured maybe I'd get lucky and meet someone nice on there too, but I wasn't expecting to.
How are you presenting yourself? As desperate and want a girlfriend? or a happy-go-lucky guy who's happy in his life but looking for someone to hang out with?

If it's the first - then you need to do the latter. Women want boyfriends but we don't want deseperate boyfriends. We want confident and a man in control of his life.

You're 23. You are a man, present yourself as such. Don't put in anything negative or that could be percieved in a bad light. If you're saying you are shy, take that out immediately.
azsinglegal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2011, 5:06 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 19,330
Dude, ask yourself why a woman in your age range would even use online dating.
somedude81 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ready to give up online dating lolo1234 Dating 1 27th April 2011 9:22 PM
Question about online dating and give ur number OCCDAVE Dating 8 10th April 2011 12:11 PM
When did you decide to give up with online dating? EyeAlone Dating 33 19th October 2010 6:04 PM
When do you decide to give up dating? greatgirlfriend Dating 35 15th February 2010 11:22 AM
How do you decide how many rep points you give out to someone? Pyro LoveShack.org Questions and Comments 12 10th February 2006 4:41 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:03 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.