watermelonjuice Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 It appears that my female friends are slowly getting paired up, leaving me in the single stands. Even the most unlikely female friend just got a boyfriend through online dating. Each time a female friend suggests a holiday destination to me, that we should totally go on that trip sometime down the road, they meet a guy midway and go on a trip with them instead. When do you start to realize it's not going to happen to you, wish your female friends all the best and you carry on walking alone? How many others have had similar experience? Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 When do you start to realize it's not going to happen to you, wish your female friends all the best and you carry on walking alone? In the moments of self-doubt. On the bad days. On the good days, anything and everything is possible. As long you are still breathing, there's no cut-off date for these things. You don't need to decide that it's not going to happen to you. But you can decide not to make it a huge part of your life where you invest a lot of emotional energy into the "what's wrong with me?" mindset. Then wish your female friends well and have a great time making the most of not being beholden to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watermelonjuice Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 In the moments of self-doubt. On the bad days. On the good days, anything and everything is possible. There's no cut-off date for these things. You don't need to decide that it's not going to happen to you. But you can decide not to make it a huge part of your life where you invest a lot of emotional energy into the "what's wrong with me?" mindset. Then wish your female friends well and have a great time making the most of not being beholden to someone. I pride myself in being independent. But there are moments like this when I really doubt. A friend just happily told me about her upcoming trip with new guy, adding to how bad I already feel. Sometimes it gets scary thinking how I may end up with no more single friends. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I pride myself in being independent. But there are moments like this when I really doubt. A friend just happily told me about her upcoming trip with new guy, adding to how bad I already feel. Sometimes it gets scary thinking how I may end up with no more single friends. When you get to a certain age, it's actually quite normal for most people to be in a couple or have a family - though factors like geographical location make a difference. I suggest doing more social activites like joining Meetup groups to make more friends and find new activity partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watermelonjuice Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 When you get to a certain age, it's actually quite normal for most people to be in a couple or have a family - though factors like geographical location make a difference. I suggest doing more social activites like joining Meetup groups to make more friends and find new activity partners. I've done that and even tried online dating. But dating is so hard! Just really sad now. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) Don't be sad! Continue doing those things and filling your life up with people and activities. Things that make you happy, fill you with joy and make you smile. I found that whenever I'm coupled up I always look back with fondness at my time as a singleton and wish I'd done more. It's too easy to get complacent while in a relationship, depending on your partner as a ready-made social life. Edited September 30, 2011 by january2011 Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 It appears that my female friends are slowly getting paired up, leaving me in the single stands. Even the most unlikely female friend just got a boyfriend through online dating. Each time a female friend suggests a holiday destination to me, that we should totally go on that trip sometime down the road, they meet a guy midway and go on a trip with them instead. When do you start to realize it's not going to happen to you, wish your female friends all the best and you carry on walking alone? How many others have had similar experience? I came to that point when I had gotten burned too many times with women who had massive baggage. I finally came to the point that I saw dating as a constantly horrible experience, and thus I should not keep walking into horrible experiences. Granted I met a great women a few years later, but it only happened when I back-burnered the idea of finding someone and just lived my life for me. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 It appears that my female friends are slowly getting paired up, leaving me in the single stands. Even the most unlikely female friend just got a boyfriend through online dating. Each time a female friend suggests a holiday destination to me, that we should totally go on that trip sometime down the road, they meet a guy midway and go on a trip with them instead. When do you start to realize it's not going to happen to you, wish your female friends all the best and you carry on walking alone? How many others have had similar experience? Well, I'm a guy but I've sort of had a gut feeling for a while now that it would never happen for me. I haven't completely concluded that it's hopeless though. There are a few friends of mine that if they ever get a girlfriend and I'm still single I will most likely conclude that it's over. Ironically, this used to bother me. Now, not so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 It's so painful and hard to want to meet someone and to deal with the blind alleys along the way. I was exactly like GrkBoy. I had a horrible road with dating and decided to live life my way. I decided to romance myself and took myself on a trip to Berlin for New Year's. I was celebrating my 7th consecutive New Year's Eve as a single person. That adventure was incredible to do alone. I met so many people in the hostel and one time I got lost at the German border and a Polish couple helped me out. I met my boyfriend one month after I returned from the trip. Coincidence? I'm not sure. What I am saying is cultivate magic in your life. Woo yourself. Fall in love with life and your strong single self. Link to post Share on other sites
Author watermelonjuice Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 Thanks all. I guess it's because I've been mostly single for so long that I yearn for a proper relationship. I've done the wake up and smell the roses by myself, traveled alone, moved cities etc. Nothing has happened while some of my friends who professed that they're better off without men or that they aren't relationship material got paired up. And I look at myself and wonder what's wrong. Probably such feelings hit me stronger on weekends when I don't have a great social life planned. I used to have to pick social invites because there are just too many but now as there are fewer single friends left, it's just different. Sometimes I just want to go hide or somewhere where nobody knows me and just not have to bother with all these. Link to post Share on other sites
laotzu Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author watermelonjuice Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 Mid 30s. (Just to add more words.) Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Sometimes I just want to go hide or somewhere where nobody knows me and just not have to bother with all these. If only it were that easy! We might be able to hid from other people, our responsibilities, etc. But we can't hide from our thoughts unless we fill our head with something else to keep our mind occupied. Link to post Share on other sites
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