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Dating a younger girl...I need !!!

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Old 21st September 2011, 12:08 AM   #1
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Dating a younger girl...I need !!!

Okay so here goes...I am using this as a vent session as well as looking for advice

Okay so about me a little first. I am 28 years old, a 9 year militaryveteran, just got hired on the fire department, finally finished my first degree (only an associates) and have my life together as far as bills, credit and all that stuff goes. One caveat is that I am divorced. My ex-wife cheated on me about 2 1/2 years ago and had a child with that guy...I thought he wasmine for about 2 months. I AM OVER IT I PROMISE!!!

I was separated for about 9 months before the divorce was final which was about a year ago. I have dated a handful of women since then but I didn' treally click with any of them.

Okay enough about me so here is my question.

I met a girl at a motorcycle shop where I get my accessories. We flirtedback and forth a little every time I went in there. After about 2 months she switched jobs and started working at Hooters...yes I know....when I found out I got mynew job I went up there to celebrate. We talked and hung out for a few hours and when I left I sent her a Facebook message to call me sometime, we have talked every day since (by talk I mean mostly text or in person)

At first it started off slow i.e. lunch, baseball game, hung out at hooters2 - 3 times. I made a conscience effort to not sleep with her until the third date because that has been an issue in the past. Needless to say on date 3 we had sex.

This is the point where everything usually falls apart for me...females if you’re thinking it's the sex it's not because they always come back for more.

Anyways we start texting even more. Good Morning, Good Night, Babe, Honeyetc. We started riding motorcycles together with her group which really likes me, she says she has fun, we have been to dinner a few times etc.

We have been talking for a little over a month now and all of a sudden she is not texting as much. She still text everyday but just not good morning, goodnight, the random what are you doing. Is down to just 4-5 text a day with absolutly no meaning. We onlyhang out one maybe two days a week and we always have sex. She tells me to kiss her, cuddle with her etc.

I am starting to develop feeling for her so I asked her what we are doing and she says she likes me but generally avoids the question overall.

I have backed off on the text to only texting her when she text me. I'lladmit I do post the occasional pictures of our rides on her Facebook or comment on some of her Facebook post but other than that I let her text me when she feels like it. When she does I will wait 5-10 minutes before I respond as to not be too available.

With all that being said I HATE THE GAMES but I feel forced to play it these days.

The last caveat is that she is 19.

Not to make excuses or anything else butI FEEL or at least felt that she was a little more mature for her age than most girls. I have never dated a girl this much younger but for some reason out ofthe past 4-5 that I've dated in the past 1 1/2 years I connect with her the most.

Ahhhhhh that was exhausting to write. I am sure it's hard to read but this is the state of my mind right now. This girl has extremely flustered and confused me.

After re-reading that I actually feel like I am being kind of whiney. I guess what I really want to know is how to find out what she is feeling, how toget her to want to spend more time with me (which I want a lot) and really how to get to the point where she shows enough interest in me to where I can be confident where I/we stand.

I have the issue of confidence because every time I feel that I have something good the girl ends up leaving…..

I need advice!!! What's next? What do I do?

Last edited by a1cturner; 21st September 2011 at 12:14 AM.. Reason: Editing screwed it up
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Old 21st September 2011, 4:10 AM   #2
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Doesn't sound like she is that into you I'm afraid.
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Old 21st September 2011, 10:44 AM   #3
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Talk to her. Tell her what you've just told a group of strangers and find out where you both stand.
I never knew how much it could hurt to lose something I never really had...
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Old 21st September 2011, 11:16 AM   #4
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The girl is a 19 year old hooters waitress. What do you expect? Sounds like she enjoys the sex and attention but is not interested in a serious relationship.
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Old 21st September 2011, 11:57 AM   #5
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Enjoy it while you can. I see no issue dating someone 10 to 15 years younger than you. Just make sure though she shares the same values of you. Very important you do this otherwise you'll end up in the lost pit of girls who date old men and drop them!
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Old 21st September 2011, 12:11 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Feelsgoodman View Post
The girl is a 19 year old hooters waitress. What do you expect? Sounds like she enjoys the sex and attention but is not interested in a serious relationship.

I have nothing against age differences in relationships (as long as it's legal/appropriate), and have had successful relationships with men 7-12 years older than myself. However, the fact that she's a Hooters waitress, combined with the fact that she just doesn't seem to be overly interested in you in general, tells me that this is probably not heading down the relationship route. She enjoys the attention she gets from older men, knowing that she's young, attractive, and desirable to them. It sounds like you've been her flavour of the month, and now that she's tiring of you, she's most likely scoping out the next guy to shower her with attention.

Enjoy it for what it is (if you can, without getting emotionally attached), but stay realistic.

If you really want closure, ask her to be exclusive. It's not an unreasonable proposal after a few months or more of dating, and her reaction (while you probably won't like it) will be telling.
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