Girls Always rather have Player type/Outgoing talker type guys than me

[quietGuy13]

I think my friend is just forgetting about me and now never contacts me.

 

But not just this friend, many others which i tried, eventually got tired of me cause i'm quiet/mute...uninteresting.. and not a good talker so they eventually disappeared.

 

Some other girls to who i tried to talk, they seemed uninterested since the beginning but i would see the same girls super happy with the Player type/outgoing type guys.

 

I'm not an outgoing talker type, so will i always be hated???

 

In All my jobs, all througout school, etc.. all the time the girls either went with the hot studs players, or loud outgoing jokers, or smart outgoing talkative nerds.. Never anyone was interested in me.

[Negative Nancy]

dude, i'm not on here often anymore, but whenever i come here, i see at least one whiney-ass thread from you, it's annoying.

 

seriously, you need to kick that attitude to the curb, it's not attractive and will not help you.

 

with how much you complain on here, i can see why no one would find that attractive - especially if you some of it spills over into real life as well.

 

focus on the positive, there must be something good about you, everyone has a unique set of skills and personality traits that may not make them attractive to everyone, but to some people.

[OnyxSnowfall]

dude, i'm not on here often anymore, but whenever i come here, i see at least one whiney-ass thread from you, it's annoying.

 

seriously, you need to kick that attitude to the curb, it's not attractive and will not help you.

 

with how much you complain on here, i can see why no one would find that attractive - especially if you some of it spills over into real life as well.

 

focus on the positive, there must be something good about you, everyone has a unique set of skills and personality traits that may not make them attractive to everyone, but to some people.

 

:lmao:

 

I agree with this =x

 

(I personally prefer introverted types of men. Seldom have I been attracted to an outgoing man [and that attraction has often been platonic]).

 

You need to learn to accept yourself and then to be true to it. It means more when someone wants you for you anyway... and they will. They may already, but are themselves insecure / too shy and you simply can't see it.

 

Besides, no one can make up for you not accepting yourself --- no amount of attention, prospects, flattery, recognition, etc, will truly quell that discord / emptiness. It can certainly distract you from noticing it... so think of it as a blessing that you've the opportunity to see clearer...

[rafallus]

Yes, people in general socialize easier with more outgoing type.

 

From now on, you have 2 choices:

1)Become more outgoing.

2)Refuse to change and deal with your misery.

 

In other words: put up or shut up.

[chucksagent]

The sad truth is many (not all) women like drama and excitement and have the inherant desire to change a man for the better. This is something jers, drug addicts, alcoholics, losers, all provide.

 

Therefore, if you are a good/down to earth (drug/alcohol free) man with a job, you will likely not meet a good girl until you're in late 20's early 30's (by now girls are getting sick of the mental and sometimes physical abuse, negligent treatment, lack of bank account (or funds therein), rehab trups, etc. These women have either dated enoug of these guys by now OR have already been married to the "jerk/player/loser" type and LIVED how bad it is.

 

Bide your time good sir.

[AHardDaysNight]

The sad truth is many (not all) women like drama and excitement and have the inherant desire to change a man for the better. This is something jers, drug addicts, alcoholics, losers, all provide.

 

Therefore, if you are a good/down to earth (drug/alcohol free) man with a job, you will likely not meet a good girl until you're in late 20's early 30's (by now girls are getting sick of the mental and sometimes physical abuse, negligent treatment, lack of bank account (or funds therein), rehab trups, etc. These women have either dated enoug of these guys by now OR have already been married to the "jerk/player/loser" type and LIVED how bad it is.

 

Bide your time good sir.

 

This is all too true. Young women, for the most part, are immature.

[Negative Nancy]

so are young men. dont tell me you wouldnt have picked the hot drama psycho airhead over the homely caring plain jane when you were 20.

 

i bet quietguy is one of the dudes who complains that no hot chick wants him, but he conveniently overlooks the chubby sweetie.

 

well sorry guys, but just like YOU dont wanna date fatties, we dont wanna date the boring, spineless unsuccessful men.

 

the day a man that complains on here is gonna date a fat homely woman is the day i will start to take threads like these seriously.

 

glass house...stones....etc.

[Negative Nancy]

The sad truth is many (not all) women like drama and excitement and have the inherant desire to change a man for the better. This is something jers, drug addicts, alcoholics, losers, all provide.

 

Therefore, if you are a good/down to earth (drug/alcohol free) man with a job, you will likely not meet a good girl until you're in late 20's early 30's (by now girls are getting sick of the mental and sometimes physical abuse, negligent treatment, lack of bank account (or funds therein), rehab trups, etc. These women have either dated enoug of these guys by now OR have already been married to the "jerk/player/loser" type and LIVED how bad it is.

 

Bide your time good sir.

 

the sad truth is that many men like hotness and excitement and have the inherent desire to date a hot woman, nevermind her other "qualities". This is something the hot drama queens and psychos all provide.

 

Therefore, if you are a good/down to earth (drug/alcohol free) woman with a sweet caring attitude, you will likely not meet a good man until ....never, because as opposed to girls who come to their senses in their late 20s, guys will always dig the hot mess (so many men cheat or leave the old used up hag of a wife for a younger model) because men value youth & beauty over anything else.

 

Bide your time good lady.

Edited September 19, 2011 by Negative Nancy

[AHardDaysNight]

dont tell me you wouldnt have picked the hot drama psycho airhead over the homely caring plain jane when you were 20.

 

Pot calling the kettle black.

[Woggle]

I seriously don't know any men who dig a hot mess. Most would give their right arm to find a woman who doesn't have ton of issues.

[AHardDaysNight]

I seriously don't know any men who dig a hot mess. Most would give their right arm to find a woman who doesn't have ton of issues.

 

Me too.

 

I try to stay clear of drama. Give me an average looking, drama free, girl, over a hot mess any day!

 

Problem is, most girls, even the average ones, go for hot messes (good looking players.) Including NegativeNancy. Which is why I called her a pot calling the kettle black.

[Woggle]

I really think this is what is behind the older women/younger man thing. Older women are more mature and don't have the drama addiction and younger men don't have the bitterness so it is a good match.

[Citizen Erased]

How shocking, that people prefer someone that actually approaches them, has things to say to them, can actually hold a conversation.

 

Those hussies, how dare they!

[rafallus]

How shocking, that people prefer someone that actually approaches them, has things to say to them, can actually hold a conversation.

 

Those hussies, how dare they!

It outrages me as well.

 

After I thought about it, I had to start breathing heavy because I felt an urge to punch something, because this is plainly messed up...

 

 

 

 

[AHardDaysNight]

And never mind all the guys that approach women, get rejected badly, over and over, and get a deep resentment of women.

 

How dare they even comment!

[motive2002]

Think of it along these lines:

 

Would you like an extroverted, flirty, always heavily social gf?

There are some women who would rather NOT have their man be player/outgoing types because it offers them more peace of mind.

 

I would dare say that most women would not want to compete for that type of guy. They'd be happier with their shy but wonderful boyfriend.

 

I think maybe your self confidence, along with your "picker" could use some adjustment. Just hang in there. Just because you haven't found that nice girl now doesn't mean it won't happen at some point.

 

But you know you gotta make some kind of move to get things rolling. That IS the one thing you should work on.

[AHardDaysNight]

No, I wouldn't. I'd like a homebody, just like myself.

 

Problem is, most homebody's tend to be unattractive, so I can either change myself and be someone else, or I can settle for someone who is physically unappealing.

 

It's a problem.

[Negative Nancy]

Pot calling the kettle black.

 

i guess so, huh

 

in my 20s i dated a hot tattoo artist (if i ever had to use men's scaling system, then he was a perfect 10 or even 11) and he kinda set the bar for what i find attractive, i think. his character wasn't the best, though - obviously, or we would still be together. or maybe i wasn't his perfect match, cos last thing i heard is that he's been married for a couple years now and has kids. so i guess people can change...but i wasn't part of it - oh well.

 

my boyfriend now has the good looks on the outside, but also is well-spoken and confident on the inside. so for me , no, i don't dig the hot messes if they bring nothing but good looks to the table. both of these 2 qualities are important: good looks AND a good personality (isn't that exactly what men want too?).

[Woggle]

With all due respect the guy in your avatar reminds me of Vanilla Ice.

[chucksagent]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! LOL. Trust me, men DO NOT want the hot mess type. Couldn't be further from the truth...NOW, men DO WANT hot women, that is a scientific facts that NOBODY can deny. It is written in our DNA - men are visual creatures.

 

Also, your argument as to "why" women choose these jerks and scumbags over nice guys in the DUMBEST thing I've ever heard. "Would you want the quiet introvert?!? blah blah blah" Well drugs makes you feel good, should you do drugs??? Robbin a bank is easy money, should you rob a bank??? Why the heck would you get into bed (literally and figuratively) with some loser JUST BECAUSE HE IS OUTGOING?!?! Have you all gone CRAZY!!!!????

 

Now, I must admit...sometimes a man WILL get into a relationship with a psycho...this usually happens because she is fake at first. BUT, a man will get out MUCH easier than a woman. i.e. My cousin, my mom, and my sister in law were ALL married, dating, and engaged to nutcases (my stepdad was crazy)...they ALL stuck around soooooooooo much longer after they knew they were crazy. Heck, even my uncle TOLD my mom when she was marrying him "Why are you marrying him, he's a fruit, he's honestly crazy." (they knew eachother through the community)...But women IGNORE red flags because of rose colored glasses...everyone knows this.

[quietGuy13]

I have seen tons of girls that look quiet/shy and they all love the loud player type guys. And i often see them with these guys.

 

So even those quiet girls love the Player types.

 

That sucks.

 

It's surprising cause I thought only Loud talkative/outgoing girls like the loud party/player outgoing type of dudes but apparently not. Seems that their like for player types is genetic or something.

 

For example, in my experience I always like foreign girls and try to talk to them. They not interested at all. Yet i often see them with loud party/player type black guys or brazilian guys and they become bf gf. Meanwhile i'm nice, and friendly and a good person and i treat them well, and I'm ignored.

[Lucky_One]

QuietGuy, it's nice to hear you say something positive about yourself for a change.

 

To be perfectly honest, after reading your posts here, I wouldn't date you either (assuming I was single and dating). You are always depressed, sick, in pain, worried about the oddest damn things, and only talk about wanting to date hot women.

 

I have in my life dated guys who were....a COO, an electrician, college grads, HS grads, rednecks, yuppies, metrosexuals, deaf, a lower-leg amputee, a guy with a big nose, a guy with a small penis, a guy with a huge penis, a father, a player, a contractor, a computer geek, a pilot, a forester, a soldier, a mechanical engineer, a chef. (Some of these guys wore multiple hats, btw!!) I am pretty, but I certainly don't consider myself hot, I am talkative or quiet depending on the situation, I am smart, I am open-minded.

 

All the women I know want to date a man who is positive and happy. There are lots of other things that can make a man more attractive, but the two BIGGEST things are a man who is relatively happy and has a positive personality. Everyone of the guys I listed above have those attributes.

 

Work on yourself. Go to your speech therapist. Apply for disability. Work on becoming independent. Learn to accept yourself for who you are.

 

And for god's sake, look past HOT. You would not notice me (a happy, open-minded woman who has dated men with disabilities) because I am not hot and because I am talkative. There are thousands of lonely women who would love a date with a man who treated them well and was sweet. Start hanging out at book stores. Go to poetry readings. Find meet-up groups in your area. Start swimming.

 

Sheesh.

[Cristian Luca]

WoW man, stop betting yourself that much.

 

If you realize one important thing about relationships is simply this:

 

For whatever kind of person you are there are many more that compliment you and love the way you are.

What that means is that however you are its OK!

 

You are not the talker guy. Who gives a crap. Just find a woman that loves guys that are quiet.

 

I am a talker but I've met a lot of women that didn't like that about me, even my own mother who tells me: "son, please learn to shut up". I just don't give a crap, that's who I am.

 

My mother is in a relationship with a guy that rarely talks and she told me that she was always attracted to men that rarely speak.

 

It's funny isn't it? You want what you don't have when what you have is what others want...

 

I'm developing my "quite" guy persona right now, I've met a wonderful girl that is a talker. She is amazing, so I just need to learn to be quiet most of the times.

 

Be proud man, learn to use your silence as a powerful tool in your masculine arsenal.

Edited September 20, 2011 by Cristian Luca