Jump to content

Girlfriend kissed another guy when she was drunk,


falcons7171

Recommended Posts

My girlfriend of 1 year and 8 months was at a party just a get together of her and girls, and she never drinks and she drank that night and I fell asleep around 2 at home, and I guess at this thing only 1 guy came over which was one of her old friends and everyone else was friends with him too, and she doesnt remember anything but she has stories from the guy that kissed her and a friend that seen it happening. Everyone was going to bed and they were in the basement on a bed on the floor and her friend passed out on the couch right by them, and only her and him were awake and her friend that was someplace else, and when they finished watching the movie I guess he kissed her and she made out with him for 5 minutes then stopped and puked on the floor next to the bed, and they slept on that bed together not touching or anything after, also at the time they were kissing her friend that seen didnt do anyything she was just surprised and just didnt do anything, I woke up and texted her then after my 1st text she called and told me and I was broken and felt so betrayed because all the time she says I don't trust her and that I should and when things start going fine she messes it up. She also found out from the guy that after the 5min of making out she stopped and said he tasted gross and was the worst kisser and then puked and for the rest of the time after she was making fun of him and how he can't kiss. Like what could have caused her to do so, and the guy went for the kiss, and it blows my mind that she went with it. She said she drank too much and doesn;t remember a thing so the story is from the guys side and friend which sucks, can somebody please give some advice.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Is this the first time this happen with this girl of 1 year. Do you love her or does she love you? The issue here is trust? She goes to a party and got drunk and kissed another guy maybe she thought was you, but then soon realize it wasn't you. Could be an accident. How come you weren't with her at this party? You could give her a second chance it's up to you really. How you feel about this going to be on you. Kissing it nothing if she did more then you have to worry about it. Then you couldn't trust her again. If she did it once she'll do it again if she's drunk.

Link to post
Share on other sites
My girlfriend of 1 year and 8 months was at a party just a get together of her and girls, and she never drinks and she drank that night and I fell asleep around 2 at home, and I guess at this thing only 1 guy came over which was one of her old friends and everyone else was friends with him too, and she doesnt remember anything but she has stories from the guy that kissed her and a friend that seen it happening. Everyone was going to bed and they were in the basement on a bed on the floor and her friend passed out on the couch right by them, and only her and him were awake and her friend that was someplace else, and when they finished watching the movie I guess he kissed her and she made out with him for 5 minutes then stopped and puked on the floor next to the bed, and they slept on that bed together not touching or anything after, also at the time they were kissing her friend that seen didnt do anyything she was just surprised and just didnt do anything, I woke up and texted her then after my 1st text she called and told me and I was broken and felt so betrayed because all the time she says I don't trust her and that I should and when things start going fine she messes it up. She also found out from the guy that after the 5min of making out she stopped and said he tasted gross and was the worst kisser and then puked and for the rest of the time after she was making fun of him and how he can't kiss. Like what could have caused her to do so, and the guy went for the kiss, and it blows my mind that she went with it. She said she drank too much and doesn;t remember a thing so the story is from the guys side and friend which sucks, can somebody please give some advice.

 

This isn't true.

 

Also, why would the guy she kissed tell her after that she'd told him he's a crap kisser? She probably did say it but that's because she can remember, no guy would tell a girl he kissed 'you said I tasted gross and I was the worst kisser ever'.

 

She can remember what happened and she's trying damage limitation. End it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry, I don't have any advice. I'd be shook up if my SO did that and would think that doing this while drunk just shows that this is something under the surface all the time. There is no "the alcohol made me do it". I don't understand all you aid so I can' say any more about how to deal. It just ain't good.

Link to post
Share on other sites
She also found out from the guy that after the 5min of making out she stopped and said he tasted gross and was the worst kisser and then puked and for the rest of the time after she was making fun of him and how he can't kiss.

 

If he was so horrible, she certainly wouldn't make out with him for 5 minutes.

 

She's trying to soften the blow. Up to you, I would bail though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why isn't the boy friend with his girl at this party? How your going to let her go to a party and get drunk with guys trying to hit on her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sorry, I don't have any advice. I'd be shook up if my SO did that and would think that doing this while drunk just shows that this is something under the surface all the time. There is no "the alcohol made me do it". I don't understand all you aid so I can' say any more about how to deal. It just ain't good.

 

Agreed. If you can't behave you shouldn't be drinking.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Yes we love eachother and at the beginning of the night she said it was only girls there and so I didn;t want to go cause it was just them hanging out drinking then that 1 guy just showed up later on. Also everytime she drinks I say don't drink too much because I don't want you to blackout cause something might happen, like what just happened. So she said shes never going to drink and I asked why she didnt go to this party lastnight and she said she doesnt trust herself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Why isn't the boy friend with his girl at this party? How your going to let her go to a party and get drunk with guys trying to hit on her.

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yes.

Link to post
Share on other sites
So she said shes never going to drink and I asked why she didnt go to this party lastnight and she said she doesnt trust herself.

 

She lacks self-control and isn't afraid to admit it.

 

Cards really uncover her persona. Really, her kissing this guy is a blessing, you find out sooo much about her, you can make pretty well informed decision.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes we love eachother and at the beginning of the night she said it was only girls there and so I didn;t want to go cause it was just them hanging out drinking then that 1 guy just showed up later on. Also everytime she drinks I say don't drink too much because I don't want you to blackout cause something might happen, like what just happened. So she said shes never going to drink and I asked why she didnt go to this party lastnight and she said she doesnt trust herself.

 

 

That's what girls can't go to girls parties to get drunk and have a guy show-up so she can flirt with him while she's so drunk. She's going to do it again and again. She can't go without for now on to these parties.. If you do let her go she's do it again. Or she should quit drinking beer. One or the other.

Link to post
Share on other sites
So she said shes never going to drink and I asked why she didnt go to this party lastnight and she said she doesnt trust herself.

 

First off, she's totally LYING about "not remembering anything." I suspect the only reason she's told you anything is because she's afraid that her friend who was in the same room who saw them kissing might tell someone who might tell you. It's called damage control.

 

Secondly, does it even make a lick of sense that a guy is going to have a 5 minute make-out session with a girl and then tell her (or anyone!) that she claimed he couldn't kiss/tasted gross? That's all crap that SHE made up.

 

Now the fact that she claims to be avoiding parties because she doesn't "trust herself"...........that's kind of a big red flag, don't you think? How can you trust her when she apparently doesn't even trust HERSELF to behave and be committed/loyal only to you?

Link to post
Share on other sites

The young lady is a good story-teller. Who 'never drinks' and then gets drunk one night and kisses a man and sleeps with him in a bed apparently at her own home? From the tone and details of the story, it sounds like some parents need to get involved. Anyone there of legal drinking age?

 

Here's some apparent inconsistency:

Also everytime she drinks I say don't drink too much because I don't want you to blackout cause something might happen, like what just happened. So she said shes never going to drink and I asked why she didnt go to this party lastnight and she said she doesnt trust herself.

 

Which is it? She never drinks or 'everytime she drinks'?

 

Think of alcohol as sodium amytal. It functions, in part, as 'truth serum'. Her behaviors while drinking are a true representation of part of her personality. Up to you whether that part, or the part which impels you to caution her about drinking to blackout, is healthy for you in a LTR. Good luck :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I definitely agree with basically everyone in this thread. The story just doesn't make much sense to me,I think she's trying to jerk you around. I've only been blackout drunk once, I still remember bits and pieces. It's more like a kind of foggy memory, not a total gap... In my situation at least.

 

I'd look at it this way. She was at this party and a guy was flirting with her, you were the last thing on her mind. She kissed this guy then went to bed with him instead of calling you.

 

I honestly believe these types of situations tend to recur.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was 19 I was in a similar situation. GF of 2 years. Same stuff, I may as well have just written what you wrote there. Circumstances were different but the events were the same (minus the puking and sharing a bed).

 

I broke up with that girl not because another dude kissed her. But because she let him keep kissing her rather than say no and push him away. There is a huge difference between those two actions. There were other smaller issues(unrelated to drinking or other guys) that led to this but this was where the line crossed for me.

 

At parties she will be hit on by drunk dudes. Dudes that, due to alcohol, are probably bold enough to just dive in for a kiss like that. I've seen it many times. Younger girls are not that experienced with this kind of behavior and don't often know how to react to it when they are drunk themselves.

 

The alcohol does inhibit your ability to make decisions and if you drink enough makes you not remember events. People are naive for saying otherwise. The issue is people also think it makes you immune from responsibility. It does not.

Link to post
Share on other sites
When I was 19 I was in a similar situation. GF of 2 years. Same stuff, I may as well have just written what you wrote there. Circumstances were different but the events were the same (minus the puking and sharing a bed).

 

I was thinking the same... when I was a teenager something very similar happened. I'm guessing the people in this story are of a similar age.

 

Drunk teenagers do stupid things. That doesn't make it "okay" but there doesn't need to be a deep analysis of why.

Link to post
Share on other sites
She said she drank too much and doesn;t remember a thing so the story is from the guys side and friend which sucks, can somebody please give some advice.

 

Do your best to make sure you've got the full story. Talk to the friend who saw it. Some people have already pointed out inconsistencies. If she's lying when sober I would consider that worse than making out with a guy when drunk.

Link to post
Share on other sites

For those of you who asked him why he wasn't there watching over her at this party, it is not his job to babysit her. Nothing is accomplished by him constantly trying to look over her and making sure she is on the right track and staying with him, that is her job to remain in line and be faithful.

 

If it was me I would end it at least for a while. If she was into the relationship she wouldn't of cheated on you by making out with this guy for 5 minutes, even if she was drunk. Also, as pointed out by others, she seems to be lying to you a little to try to lessen the blow of cheating on you. You have to act and punish her actions or you will lose respect in the relationship. I would break it off by telling her that she needs to take some time to herself and find out what she really wants in a relationship, because obviously something is wrong if she is going to cheat on you like that. This lets her realize that you are not going to sit by and accept such actions from someone you were committed to, and that you want her to step back from the relationship and find out what really is important to her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...