thatcatlady67 Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 I have worked at the same job as this guy for over three years. I am 43 and he is 62. I have been single for over 2 years, and he has never been married. He made his interest in me known this past Valentine's Day, but we have gone on just one date, a couple of weeks ago. It went as well as can be expected, though he was extremely nervous! After the date he gave me an awkward hug. I am starting to develop special feelings for this guy. He is on vacation until next week and I can hardly wait to see him. My question is this: how do work romances usually turn out under these circumstances? If this progresses, what is the best way to handle it at work? This is new territory for me, both with a work setting and with a guy 19 years older than me. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 I avoid dating people at work because I don't like being the subject of gossip. Others have no problem. I'm wondering why he is unmarried at 62. Maybe he's a virgin. Maybe he's in the closet and lonely. Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 It can turn out well or turn out badly so I guess the answer is "it depends." Someone at my workplace started dating a man in another department. He had been a bachelor his whole adult life. He was 50. She was in her early 30s. They eventually married. When they were first dating, they tried to hide it, but it was so obvious to everyone else even though we're a large organization. Do you work for the same section/department? Or are you in the same organization, but different areas? I would think the latter is better than the former. Link to post Share on other sites
alexlakeman Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 Was he gay before? Just lived with a long term woman? Why hasn't he been married? That would be my first question..But you might know that already and the reason is fine with you... I dated someone for 3 years, 2 of which we worked in the same department; that's how I met her. She worked for my colleague, so having the dating discovered would have been very bad due to conflict of interest .. I feel it worked fine b/c we were both mature...Some of the females had suspicion that we "were an item", b/c of interacting more with me than usual after a while, but NOTHING concrete. In fact she was in an accident 2 yrs into the relationship and I had to be the one to call her boss / my colleague and my boss to tell them she was in the hospital and my boss said he never even remotely suspected it, that I was very professional, and that was fine that way.. When we broke up I wasn't there any longer, so depending on how the break up is , will depend how awkward it will be. In my case, I am sure it would have been fine, as we broke up as civilized adults... Link to post Share on other sites
glitteronthehighway Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I dated my direct coworker--same title and all, we were two of four in our department in a small company-- for six months and no one knew. I confessed to my boss a few months after the breakup and he said we deserved Oscars for our performance. We opted to not make it known because of office politics. Not sure if you're looking to move up in the company, but if you're a woman--you'll get all the scrutiny in a situation like this. Be careful! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatcatlady67 Posted August 20, 2011 Author Share Posted August 20, 2011 Thanks for all your advice. My gentleman friend, I believe, has Asperger's Syndrome. This isn't a dealbreaker for me, just something new and different. Regarding the dating a co-worker part, I don't think that will be an issue with the higher-up people. There is a married couple in our department, who met on the job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatcatlady67 Posted August 20, 2011 Author Share Posted August 20, 2011 No, he is definitely not gay..If he was gay, why would he want to date a female? Link to post Share on other sites
nandesuka Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Just be sure it isn't against company policy to date. You two are equals, right? Ie: you're not subordinate to him or him to you? Also, do either of you plan on moving up in jobs and beginning superior to each other? That would have issues and may require relocation to another section/department/job depending on policy. Just remember to keep your personal life to yourselves. Don't bring your arguments to the workplace. And if you fight, don't make your coworkers take sides, that's not cool and can make for some uncomfortable situations at work... And FYI, sex at work is a big no no! Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Are you sure you want to date someone that much older than you? Think about what will be in 10 years from now.. or 20... Link to post Share on other sites
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