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Are guys seriously lacking confidence lol?


Sweetheartt

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Sweetheartt

For real :rolleyes: Im noticing this w/ so many guys nowadays its awful! Okay, Im at the mall w/ my friend just 2 of us right? And a group of guys would just call out something lame like "hey bella or mami whats cooking?" and then a laugh. Boo-hoo! Then if Im on line getting food or w/e and its a cute guy there, he'll stare at me & then look away when I look at him :o & that just sucks! Im not even gonna get on that creepy neighborhood guy :eek:. Whats going on fellas? Wheres your confidence at??

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Scared away due to too many rejections.

 

Also being raised by single mothers may have something to do with confidence not developing.

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Eddie Edirol
For real :rolleyes: Im noticing this w/ so many guys nowadays its awful! Okay, Im at the mall w/ my friend just 2 of us right? And a group of guys would just call out something lame like "hey bella or mami whats cooking?" and then a laugh. Boo-hoo! Then if Im on line getting food or w/e and its a cute guy there, he'll stare at me & then look away when I look at him :o & that just sucks! Im not even gonna get on that creepy neighborhood guy :eek:. Whats going on fellas? Wheres your confidence at??

 

If the guy is staring at you that you think is cute, why dont you just talk to him? Wheres your confidence at? Dont expect anyone to do what you will not do.

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Desensitized
If the guy is staring at you that you think is cute, why dont you just talk to him? Wheres your confidence at? Dont expect anyone to do what you will not do.

 

^^this. ^^^^^^^^^^^^

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If the guy is staring at you that you think is cute, why dont you just talk to him? Wheres your confidence at? Dont expect anyone to do what you will not do.

 

 

I agree. OP if you are interested in the guy and he is looking your way, strike up a conversation.

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If the guy is staring at you that you think is cute, why dont you just talk to him? Wheres your confidence at? Dont expect anyone to do what you will not do.

 

lol i know right. i love how the guy should have all the confidence. are women incapable or?...

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I agree. OP if you are interested in the guy and he is looking your way, strike up a conversation.

 

I agree since women really dont have to risk anything. by starting a convo with a guy on something in your surroundings or anything it gives the guy a chance to take it further if he's interested. he could ask for a number or a email and move it along. when a man has to start the convo we risk the strong possibility of the girl locking up just because.

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For real :rolleyes: Im noticing this w/ so many guys nowadays its awful! Okay, Im at the mall w/ my friend just 2 of us right? And a group of guys would just call out something lame like "hey bella or mami whats cooking?" and then a laugh. Boo-hoo! Then if Im on line getting food or w/e and its a cute guy there, he'll stare at me & then look away when I look at him :o & that just sucks! Im not even gonna get on that creepy neighborhood guy :eek:. Whats going on fellas? Wheres your confidence at??

 

this coming from the person who rejected someone who DID approach her that she was attracted to, because she lacked the confidence to talk to a stranger by herself without a bunch of friends hanging around.

 

hi pot, i'm kettle, i see we're both black.

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For real :rolleyes: Im noticing this w/ so many guys nowadays its awful! Okay, Im at the mall w/ my friend just 2 of us right? And a group of guys would just call out something lame like "hey bella or mami whats cooking?" and then a laugh. Boo-hoo! Then if Im on line getting food or w/e and its a cute guy there, he'll stare at me & then look away when I look at him :o & that just sucks! Im not even gonna get on that creepy neighborhood guy :eek:. Whats going on fellas? Wheres your confidence at??

 

lol if this isnt a case of the kettle and th pot....

 

Why dont you step up?

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Eddie Edirol
this coming from the person who rejected someone who DID approach her that she was attracted to, because she lacked the confidence to talk to a stranger by herself without a bunch of friends hanging around.

 

hi pot, i'm kettle, i see we're both black.

 

OMG really? So she wants the guy to overcompensate for her not being able to have a conversation? Seriously sweetheartt. You must grow up a lil. Or at least admit that you have to get over the fear of rejection.

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Ross MwcFan
If the guy is staring at you that you think is cute, why dont you just talk to him? Wheres your confidence at? Dont expect anyone to do what you will not do.

 

Yeah, girl. Where's your confidence at?

 

:p

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If the guy is staring at you that you think is cute, why dont you just talk to him? Wheres your confidence at? Dont expect anyone to do what you will not do.

 

I came here to post the same thing, but you beat me to it.

 

That being said, a guy might not approach you for other reasons than confidence. For example some time ago I was waiting somewhere and a girl was looking at me a lot of times. She stood in front of me and turned her head and waist and looked me straight in the eyes for over 3 seconds. She did this repeatedly and not only on the spot where we were standing. I wasn't afraid at all and looked straight back into her eyes for as long as she held her gaze.

When I didn't say anything and didn't approach and she left she turned around one more time with a sad look on her face, as if she meant to convey: "Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you approach and engage? Am I not pretty enough?".

 

Why didn't I strike up a conversation with her, why didn't I approach? Because there's another girl I've been wanting to ask out. However I haven't seen the girl that I wanted to ask out for a while and I'm not sure if I ever will see her again, she might be on a vacation, I have no idea. So because the fact that she might still be on a vacation I didn't approach the girl waiting in front of me. I don't go around fooling with other girls when I seriously want to go for someone already.

 

However, if the girl I have been wanting to ask out doesn't reappear and I see that girl that gave me "the looks" again, then I'll approach her in order to get to know her.

 

So my point is, just because a guy that looks at you doesn't hit on you, that doesn't mean he lacks the confidence to do so. You don't know what motives he has for either not hitting on you or even when he does hit on you. You don't know what's going on in his mind.

Edited by Nexus One
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OMG really? So she wants the guy to overcompensate for her not being able to have a conversation? Seriously sweetheartt. You must grow up a lil. Or at least admit that you have to get over the fear of rejection.

 

yeah she made a thread about running into a guy she met jogging or something who asked her out and she instantly hit him with "lets be friends and hang out" as a reponse in their first conversation.

 

to his credit, he said no.

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Sweetheartt
this coming from the person who rejected someone who DID approach her that she was attracted to, because she lacked the confidence to talk to a stranger by herself without a bunch of friends hanging around.

 

hi pot, i'm kettle, i see we're both black.

 

I never exactly said I was into him ok, I said he was kinda attractive but I didnt know him to just be going out with him on the spot, duh, get a clue.

 

I do get older guys approaching and trying to hit on me but theyre way too old like 35-45 lol. I prefer like 21-30 since Im only 19. Im not trying to be a wife to no man right now :laugh:

 

I just think guys are scared to go for what they want & then be bitter by not giving it a go. Lots of bitter guys in here. Seriously fellas grow a pair and just do it! Whats the worst that can happen huh? If a guy I dont like tries to ask me out like that creepy loser around the way Im gonna be nice about it & just say Im not looking for anything right now, I gotta bf, yada yada. Im not gonna scream at u for trying lol.

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Eddie Edirol

I just think guys are scared to go for what they want & then be bitter by not giving it a go. Lots of bitter guys in here. Seriously fellas grow a pair and just do it! Whats the worst that can happen huh?

 

Arent you being bitter for posting why guys wont ask you out?

 

Ill ask you again, when are you going to grow a pair and start asking out the guys that you like? Dont expect people to do what you are too scared to do.

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I never exactly said I was into him ok, I said he was kinda attractive but I didnt know him to just be going out with him on the spot, duh, get a clue.

 

I do get older guys approaching and trying to hit on me but theyre way too old like 35-45 lol. I prefer like 21-30 since Im only 19. Im not trying to be a wife to no man right now :laugh:

 

I just think guys are scared to go for what they want & then be bitter by not giving it a go. Lots of bitter guys in here. Seriously fellas grow a pair and just do it! Whats the worst that can happen huh? If a guy I dont like tries to ask me out like that creepy loser around the way Im gonna be nice about it & just say Im not looking for anything right now, I gotta bf, yada yada. Im not gonna scream at u for trying lol.

 

i'm not the one who needs a clue, dear. high school is over, you meet people by meeting them.

 

there's no other way.

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Eddie Edirol
i'm not the one who needs a clue, dear. high school is over, you meet people by meeting them.

 

there's no other way.

 

 

There is one other way....she wants to meet people by osmosis and glitter.....

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Cracker Jack

The worse that can happen is she can embarrass the hell out of you in front of tons of people. Of course, I'll admit that it's a lame excuse to not give it a try, but it's one of my fears.

 

I remember when this girl (I was listening, and his approach was in no way inappropriate. He just said hi and asked for her name) rejected this guy badly. She yelled "Hi! Why are you talking to me? You have a lot of nerve approaching me looking like that! Go away!" Ouch.

 

I've seen many more vicious rejections--but those usually make me think twice before approaching, which usually stops me altogether. I know it's bad to not take a chance, but it's hard. I don't want to get rejected soundly, nor do I want to eat mace (Extreme example) just because of an approach.

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fortyninethousand322
I never exactly said I was into him ok, I said he was kinda attractive but I didnt know him to just be going out with him on the spot, duh, get a clue.

 

I do get older guys approaching and trying to hit on me but theyre way too old like 35-45 lol. I prefer like 21-30 since Im only 19. Im not trying to be a wife to no man right now :laugh:

 

I just think guys are scared to go for what they want & then be bitter by not giving it a go. Lots of bitter guys in here. Seriously fellas grow a pair and just do it! Whats the worst that can happen huh? If a guy I dont like tries to ask me out like that creepy loser around the way Im gonna be nice about it & just say Im not looking for anything right now, I gotta bf, yada yada. Im not gonna scream at u for trying lol.

 

I don't think you fully understand the psychology of guys who don't approach women. At some point if you get rejected enough or over a long enough period of time you start to think that there's no point to trying anymore because you must be doing something subconsciously that's turning off women. Since we can think of much better things to do with our time than get rejected yet again, we figure why bother with it.

 

Now if a girl were to just say hi, I'd probably start up a conversation. Perhaps you could try that. What's the worst that could happen?

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I don't think you fully understand the psychology of guys who don't approach women. At some point if you get rejected enough or over a long enough period of time you start to think that there's no point to trying anymore because you must be doing something subconsciously that's turning off women. Since we can think of much better things to do with our time than get rejected yet again, we figure why bother with it.

 

Now if a girl were to just say hi, I'd probably start up a conversation. Perhaps you could try that. What's the worst that could happen?

 

thats true but nothing ventured nothing gained right? anyway, I read over some of sweetheart's threads and it does seem that the neighbor came on too strong without properly engaging her in conversation to get to know her better.

 

her offering friendship was actually a typical female response in letting him down gently. I've been a victim of that in the past, so what I try to do now is engage her in a familiar setting like a store I shop often or maybe in a movie theatre I always go, you get the picture. play it safe.

 

but I do think sweetheart and many other women can lessen the pressure on a man by at least saying something first, but usually when it comes to the attractive younger women today, they dont feel they have to. I think its the lesser attractive females that might give it a try as they get older.

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I just think guys are scared to go for what they want & then be bitter by not giving it a go. Lots of bitter guys in here. Seriously fellas grow a pair and just do it! Whats the worst that can happen huh? If a guy I dont like tries to ask me out like that creepy loser around the way Im gonna be nice about it & just say Im not looking for anything right now, I gotta bf, yada yada. Im not gonna scream at u for trying lol.

 

 

You still havent answered our question

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I wonder if these boys grew up with fathers in the home. That seems to be the crux of a lot of masculinity problems these days. Boys aren't taught how to be men.

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I wonder if these boys grew up with fathers in the home. That seems to be the crux of a lot of masculinity problems these days. Boys aren't taught how to be men.

 

Spot on, FitChick. I've noticed that trend. What say you, men? Do you think a strong male role model was absent and this contributed to your lack of confidence?

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