Arikel Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 So I have decided to end my relationship with my lying, cheating ex, but I haven't quite informed him of the fact yet as he's currently on a business trip (for which hes been trying to pick up chicks in online dating sites a few days prior to leaving) (posted the situation in breakup forums). Because he's on the trip for work and its quite important according to him, I don't want to go txt him a breakup yet and distract him. Although to be frank, I doubt he would be devastated, he'd just be angry instead. I guess I could wait till when I know he's back, txt him, end it, and start dating again. I dont want to meet him, I dont want to speak to him, I dont ever want to see him again. I don't want to get sucked into getting involved again. Considering that he's such a liar, and thinking back I dont even know what of who and how I thought he was is true (I'm serious), I don't really feel much after my decision. It could be that I'm still stunned and numbed by the latest discoveries, but I dont think I will break down and be devastated again. I'd like to start dating again, I feel like I've wasted almost a year on him (I'm 31 btw if it makes any difference), I just wonder if any relationship I would go into would just be a rebound. I dont feel like I mistrust men or that men are lying scum, I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush. I feel like I made a mistake with the ex, it was very unfortunate, I was too trusting and let love cloud my thinking. Maybe though I might expect the same things from this person (positive things) as the ex, so thats one reason to sort of take some time before moving on. How do you know when you're ready to date again? How do people know when the person they're interested in isn't in rebound? Link to post Share on other sites
youngskywalker Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I think you're right about not texting him a break-up message when he's away on business. If you can find the courage, meet with him when he gets back and tell him everything. Do the break-up and go strict no contact. As far as when it's the right time to start dating again.... my answer is as soon as possible. I've found it's much easier to heal when you're out in the dating world meeting new people. Rebounding is non-sense. Most new relationships fail because they aren't the right person for you; not because you're still broken over the ex. If the right person comes along then things will fall into place. Just expect that it's going to take some time to find the next love in life. Maybe it will be one week, maybe it will be a year. Just be confident that you've made the right decision in moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Arikel Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 Great advice youngskywalker! Thanks, it reassures me that I won't be wasting anyone's time just doing a rebound Link to post Share on other sites
youngskywalker Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 You seem confident in your decision to break up with this guy. If so, then I highly suggest going "no contact". Dump him and never look back... not even for a second. If you do that you'll heal faster than most. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Arikel Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 Emailed him the breakup email today. He will get it when he returns back here and checks his email. After thinking about when was the best time to send the letter, I decided to send the letter when it was best for ME. Now that I've officially done it and broken up, I feel so much freer. I've told my family about the breakup, though not the sordid details, and they're fully behind me. Now, I know you suggested that I go NC immediately, should I just block his emails, and not take his calls, or let him at least have his say once? It won't affect my decision in the least, and right now I don't think it will upset me as I know what type of person he truly is. But I am soft hearted, and it might upset me. I dunno though, do I just want some validation that he did care for me, or that I got through to him? Should I just NC? Link to post Share on other sites
WhyWontYouBe Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Emailed him the breakup email today. He will get it when he returns back here and checks his email. After thinking about when was the best time to send the letter, I decided to send the letter when it was best for ME. Now that I've officially done it and broken up, I feel so much freer. I've told my family about the breakup, though not the sordid details, and they're fully behind me. Now, I know you suggested that I go NC immediately, should I just block his emails, and not take his calls, or let him at least have his say once? It won't affect my decision in the least, and right now I don't think it will upset me as I know what type of person he truly is. But I am soft hearted, and it might upset me. I dunno though, do I just want some validation that he did care for me, or that I got through to him? Should I just NC? Yeah, Just go NC ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Now, I know you suggested that I go NC immediately, should I just block his emails, and not take his calls, or let him at least have his say once? It won't affect my decision in the least, and right now I don't think it will upset me as I know what type of person he truly is. But I am soft hearted, and it might upset me. I dunno though, do I just want some validation that he did care for me, or that I got through to him? Should I just NC? In that case I think you would be better off without having contact with him at all. Why let him say his final words? Would it matter? I think not.. You are no longer together, time to move on, for good. Link to post Share on other sites
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