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Haven't heard from boyfriend in three days


gothowitz

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My boyfriend and I came home from a camping trip three days ago. As far as I know, everything went great. We didn't fight at all, and we had some really sweet moments together. He even thanked me for accompanying him to do a few things that he thought would bore me without complaining. The problem is, I haven't heard from him since he dropped me off at my place. No texts, calls, or emails. I don't know if it's just because he's been busy at work, or just exhausted, or not feeling well 'cause of his bad sunburn, or if he's mad at me 'cause of some reason I don't know about. What should I make of this? What should I do?

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What should I make of this? What should I do?

 

I'm guessing that he's just unwinding and having some 'me time' after an intense camping trip. Have you called him? Or is he posting on some other forum something like "it's been 3 days and she hasn't called. What's up with that?"

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We've been together a little over five months now. It's just weird 'cause he's never done this before. I texted him last night but he has yet to reply.

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My boyfriend and I came home from a camping trip three days ago. As far as I know, everything went great. We didn't fight at all, and we had some really sweet moments together. He even thanked me for accompanying him to do a few things that he thought would bore me without complaining. The problem is, I haven't heard from him since he dropped me off at my place. No texts, calls, or emails. I don't know if it's just because he's been busy at work, or just exhausted, or not feeling well 'cause of his bad sunburn, or if he's mad at me 'cause of some reason I don't know about. What should I make of this? What should I do?

 

 

You should first check and see if he's alive.

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I checked an he is alive haha! He texted me back yesterday morning to say that he'd been studying and that he's been nursing his sunburn. I told him I was glad to know he was ok and that I'd missed him. Haven't heard from him again since.

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STOP texting and CALL HIM!

 

I would've called if I'd gotten a little bit of an encouragement from his reply, any indication that he wanted to talk to me. But it feels like he doesn't want me around right now, and I think I should give him space.

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TheCoolest
I would've called if I'd gotten a little bit of an encouragement from his reply, any indication that he wanted to talk to me. But it feels like he doesn't want me around right now, and I think I should give him space.

 

Lol. You are overanalyzing this. I am sure he wants to talk to you. Just call him.

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Thanks for the advice guys. I guess I'm just afraid that he'll think I'm being too needy or clingy for intruding on his "me-time" especially after having spent four days straight with him last week. It just weirds me out that he can actually stand not talking to me for this long a time, not even wondering whether I'm still breathing or not. We've been together a little over five months, and he usually texts me everyday, even when he's at work, but this past week, nada, save for that one reply. I'm also scared that maybe he had a realization about our relationship while we were away together that's making him pull away from me. We spend quite a lot of time together, but it was our first time being together 24 hours a day for a number of days. He and his last girlfriend broke up about a month after they went away together, but that was triggered by a very negative experience during their trip. Like I said, he seemed to have as much fun as I did when we were together, but I can't help but be apprehensive that it's happening again, only to me this time. :(

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SnowandStars

This is odd behavior and I don't buy that after 5 months in a relationship, someone is too busy to at least send a quick text "Hey baby, miss you, really busy doing xyz, will call later" or something like that. If you were the type of couple that didn't do much calling/texting, I'd understand, but such a drastic change in contact...I dunno.

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I tried calling him just now but I keep going straight to voice mail. I don't know what to do anymore...

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Forever Learning

i hate to be a downer here, i really do, but i don't like the feel of this! please prepare yourself mentally just in case.

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I'm sorry but this is NOT normal! I agree that you need to start preparing yourself mentally for what might be coming. I don't see how he can go days without wondering how you're doing and the fact that he's putting you through that is so messed up. I'd be freaking out wondering if something happened to him! I mean if what he wants is some space after y'alls trip then he should have told you!

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our first time being together 24 hours a day for a number of days. He and his last girlfriend broke up about a month after they went away together, but that was triggered by a very negative experience during their trip. Like I said, he seemed to have as much fun as I did when we were together, but I can't help but be apprehensive that it's happening again, only to me this time. :(

 

 

First of all, sorry to hear. I feel your pain and wish you the best (whether that's him and you staying together or breaking up... the best will happen for you and him just trust that it will)

 

Secondly, this is why they say vacations change people. You don't "really know someone" until you spend some vacation time with them, for better or worse.

 

take care of yourself.

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I think this is relationship is over. It doesn't matter that he was sweet to me even just minutes before he dropped me off my house the last time I saw him. I'm not getting what I want from this relationship anymore and I have to start thinking of myself for once.

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SnowandStars

Wow, that is so messed up! So I guess that is 5 months just gone. Looking back, were there signs that you overlooked?

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QuestionsGuy

I am sorry to hear that. :(

 

It's a really aweful feeling when the person you love and want to be with suddenly seems to not care if you're alive or dead.

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There weren't any signs that I could say were pointing to his wanting to end our relationship. My family and friends have warned me though about red flags when it came to his personality and attitude. I just never thought that he'd end things this way, without any respect for my feelings. I guess he'd just been really good at acting as though everything was great when he was actually slowly pulling out of the relationship. I tried to be the best girlfriend i could be for him, often putting my own needs aside for his, and now I'm here all alone.

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Before you decide to break up with him, try to call him and tell him how you feel. If it goes to voicemail, leave a message telling him that you need to talk.

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Forever Learning
I am sorry to hear that. :(

 

It's a really aweful feeling when the person you love and want to be with suddenly seems to not care if you're alive or dead.

 

 

it is shocking when they suddenly give you the silent treatment when things were going well.

 

when you never hear from them again without any explanation, it shows they lack integrity and decency if they can't provide even a smidgeon of understand as to what went wrong.

 

its a sickening feeling when this happens, thats for sure.

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I agree with somedude, talk to him first before you decide to just end things over this.

 

But, this is a major red flag. One that I ignored in my last relationship, and one that you shouldn't ignore by any means. I can't tell you how many times I went days without hearing from him, and I just decided to give him his space each time. Days ended up turning to weeks without hearing from him (three times), and it absolutely killed the relationship..but I never really stood my ground, so I felt it was my fault. Don't make the same mistake, please.

 

But regardless, don't just go and assume that this is his way of ending things with you. Maybe he's thinking things through? Maybe he needs time by himself? Maybe he was overwhelmed from all the time you spent together? Who knows? Just talk to him before you make a drastic decision. But, definitely prepare for the worse.

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I do feel awful right now. I feel like I've tried so hard to be the best person that I could be for this relationship, but he doesn't even feel like I deserve anything more than being ignored. I understand that people need their space from time to time, and I respect his need to be alone, but I just never thought that he'd put me through this. If he truly cared, wouldn't he have at least reassured me that I had nothing to worry about? We had been able to talk through other issues before, and I honestly thought that this relationship was moving forward.

 

I've decided to give it a few more days, see if he'll bother to talk to me about what's been going on. If not, I'll pull the plug myself. Sucks that I'll have to go to his place and pick up a couple of things.

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I'm guessing that he's just unwinding and having some 'me time' after an intense camping trip. Have you called him? Or is he posting on some other forum something like "it's been 3 days and she hasn't called. What's up with that?"

 

^^

This

 

 

Just call him. What great pain will that cause?

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I did call, 3x yesterday, but I went straight to voice mail. Then I sent a text to tell him that I was wondering what was going on, that it was bothering me that we hadn't talked for almost a week, and that I felt like I didn't exist to him anymore. Still, nothing.

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I did call, 3x yesterday, but I went straight to voice mail. Then I sent a text to tell him that I was wondering what was going on, that it was bothering me that we hadn't talked for almost a week, and that I felt like I didn't exist to him anymore. Still, nothing.

 

Does he have a Facebook that he has been active on? An e-mail you could send a message to? Could you stop by his place? Obviously his phone is off for one reason or another, so find another way of communication.

 

But. This is starting to look more and more to me that he may be with someone else or doing something that he shouldn't be doing. Which is even more reason to get to the bottom of it. Trust me, I understand your frustration more than you'd believe. I ended up going by my ex's place (after no word for two weeks), just to find out that apparently he got involved with the law, and had been laying low for a while, so that he didn't get caught and because his nerves were making him too sick to move. It was a horrible excuse (and I was going to dump him, but he swore to never do it again), but it did ease my mind. Sitting around waiting and plotting to breakup with him isn't doing that..so do something else or move on.

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Oh, and don't turn into this girl

 

That video is what helped keep me sane while waiting for my ex to get in touch with me. Just keeping in mind that it could be anything, and that it could be an honest reason. I find it funny...but that may just be me.

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