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Have I blown my chances with the girl who liked me?


NotInTheRoom

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NotInTheRoom

I've been flirting with a girl pretty heavily over the last three months online after we met in person through an extracurricular club at uni. She made is pretty clear she liked me a lot, and I hinted just as much back. I've never had a proper girlfriend before though (I'm 21) so we only had one "date" in this time which her friend came along too, but the girl was really apologetic about this and said we should do something together alone. She's been out of the country for a few weeks, I've had exams when she got back etc., so we haven't seen each another that much. Anyway, in person I find that I was struggling to speak to her that well, my social anxiety which I've mostly gotten under control came into play more than usual. She already told me she's similarly flustered around people she likes. Anyway, the other week there I texted her when we were both at a club asking her to talk to me outside. I was drunk and planned to ask her out. Stupid move #2 (not making a move earlier is stupid move #1). She said no because it she was having a great night and it sounded serious. To be fair, I didn't word it in a cheery way which would have made her think it was anything good, so that made sense. Then #3. She asked me, a week later, what I had wanted as if she was surprised I hadn't brought it up again on my own. Personally I'd decided not to ask her out now cos clearly I wasn't really ready. Anyway, I acted like a fool and said I didn't ask her out cos I was "strange" and I ended up being really negative and clearly insecure in that conversation. What's worse is her entire reaction at first probably hinted at the idea she'd have said yes (she responded with "I'm strange too"). But I don't know where I stand now. She basically didn't take the bull****, told me I need to get over the crap that holds me back before asking anyone out and told me that I'm not a bad person at all and need to realize that. She also did say that she was disappointed in my behaviour, and called me overly dramatic and immature.

 

 

 

 

 

So. I agree with everything she said. I used to be so socially dumb, and this year I've made so much progress... until recently with her. The end point of our conversation was that I said I agreed and would talk to her later when I was in a better mood and not on such a downer, when I had pulled myself together, really, and she said I should just improve for my own sake, and do what I want to do. I'm now not sure if I've blown my chances with her and she reassured me like that, whilst remaining firm, as a friend or if she's still open to me as a potential romantic interest but I've just damaged my chances for now. How long should I wait before getting back in touch etc.? She's gone for the summer in 2 weeks, and I'm out of the country in 3. Any advice on what my next move should be?

 

I can give more info if you guys want it.

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utterer of lies

Look, its very simple. Just tell her what you wrote here (in very short):

 

"I like you and would like to go out on a date with you."

 

 

That's it.

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Scott Free

Wow man just do yourself a favor kick back and relax, shoot you are only 21 that is still a young age. Take a breath- If you like her, and she likes you, well that will maybe work itself out in time. You will see her again, maybe give her a call before you or her leave...To say hi or just to wish her well, and let her know you were thinking of her. Tell her lastly that you wanted to tell her (apologies if she had gotten the wrong impression of you as you stated inebriation was part of the night for both of you, drunk isnt the best way to make an impression.) and good bye....then let the chips fall where they may....Also its best to let her start out any path of conversation after, if she wants to? leave her with a good taste in her mouth, and maybe she will want it again....this is not guaranteed. However in my defense you will meet the girl(s) of your dreams a few more times in the future im sure.

Good case scenario, you've gained yourself a lesson. Just be yourself and some one will notice you, but not while you are in front of your computer screen. Get out there and have some fun, you need it! Worst case scenario:you have 20 plus years of potential dating, if needed. Good luck presently! Cheers

Edited by Scott Free
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