Illiandra Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I am curious to hear about your experiences with red flags in the begining stages of dating. What are some things that signify the other person is A. insane, B. single for many reasons C. just looking to get laid? D. normal I have gone out on 3 dates with a gentlemen in his 30s, I got a text from him that said "I miss you wish you were here, im horny". Mind you we havent even hooked up yet ahhhhhhhhhh! should i run away... i do not want this guy thinking im a booty call, who sends that type of message especially when you havent been physical with this person yet? am i reading into this too much? or have a legitimate reason to believe this one is a write off? Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzari Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I am curious to hear about your experiences with red flags in the begining stages of dating. What are some things that signify the other person is A. insane, B. single for many reasons C. just looking to get laid? D. normal I have gone out on 3 dates with a gentlemen in his 30s, I got a text from him that said "I miss you wish you were here, im horny". Mind you we havent even hooked up yet ahhhhhhhhhh! should i run away... i do not want this guy thinking im a booty call, who sends that type of message especially when you havent been physical with this person yet? am i reading into this too much? or have a legitimate reason to believe this one is a write off? I would write him off. There's no excuse for that kind of behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illiandra Posted April 23, 2011 Author Share Posted April 23, 2011 i was thinking the same but my gf said the guy she was dating in the begining before they hooked up would say the same thing. ugh!!! i hate this dating bs stuff... its obvious every guy wants *it* but at least take time to get the know the person, see if theres chemistry, compability etc, (its funny me and this guy talked about how its so much better to get to know the person, and find the right one that you want to be with in a relationship past the sexual aspect of it) Link to post Share on other sites
Lilmisus Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 He probably meant to send that to his actual booty call, but accidentally s sent it to you. No, but really, that is a red sign I'd say because y'all aren't the level yet to be saying things along that nature, unless you hinted with your last date and last long goodnight kiss that the next time you'd see him he'd be getting some? A. Insane If he calls all of his ex's psychos and claimed people are following him. If he says he has to leave by a certain time in the night, or else the police will pull him over and arrest him for one reason or another (but not for DUI). If he lives a decent life but says that he will get killed in the next few years because "he can feel it." (All signs my ex showed...) B. Single for many reasons Doesn't call. Doesn't text. Doesn't open up the door. Doesn't ask how you're doing. Puts his friends before you. Says how he loves to be single. Says he hates having a girlfriend. You initiate all contact. When you're at his place, you fend for yourself with everything, including cleaning up after him. C. Just looking to get laid. Talks about sex constantly. Makes unrealistic promises about the future that just don't add up to where he is in life and where you're relationship is currently at. Tries to feel you up on the 1-3rd date. Sends you texts about being horny. D. Normal Minus the fact that there's no such thing as a normal guy, this guy would just be really into you, but not show signs of being desperate to get some and desperate to go out with you. He likes to spend time with you, tries to make time with you, but doesn't overdo it to the point where you wonder when was the last time he had female company that wasn't his mother. Knows when to make sexual comments, and when not to (meaning, not over text after a couple of dates in an inappropriate manner). And shows you and others much respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzari Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I guess it depends on what you like. I don't like men who are crude and vulgar. And 3 dates in? No way, I found the comment offensive. I like someone who has a bit more class. So we wouldn't get along and might as well end it now. Other women might feel differently. If a guy wants to let a girl know he wants her sexually, there are alot better ways to say it. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I guess it depends on what you like. I don't like men who are crude and vulgar. And 3 dates in? No way, I found the comment offensive. I like someone who has a bit more class. So we wouldn't get along and might as well end it now. Other women might feel differently. If a guy wants to let a girl know he wants her sexually, there are alot better ways to say it. I feel the same as Jazzari. Mind you, "I wish you were here, I'm thinking about you" is fine, even if there's some added wit and sexual undertones. But, actually, even if I'd been dating someone a long time and they sent me that text, it'd give me pause. To each their own. At the very least, it shows his manners are a bit relaxed. Most people would know better than to write that so early on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illiandra Posted April 23, 2011 Author Share Posted April 23, 2011 He probably meant to send that to his actual booty call, but accidentally s sent it to you. No, but really, that is a red sign I'd say because y'all aren't the level yet to be saying things along that nature, unless you hinted with your last date and last long goodnight kiss that the next time you'd see him he'd be getting some? i did not hint to him on last date that he would get some, i actually did quite the opposite. we talked about how at this point in our lives and (age wise) it is pointless to carry on random meaningless hook ups. we are both good looking people (not to sound vain or conceited we both used to model in our teens and early 20's) its easy for both of us to get laid especially in the city we live in. we both said we are lookng for something of more substance then just hooking up. A. Insane If he calls all of his ex's psychos and claimed people are following him. If he says he has to leave by a certain time in the night, or else the police will pull him over and arrest him for one reason or another (but not for DUI). If he lives a decent life but says that he will get killed in the next few years because "he can feel it." (All signs my ex showed...) B. Single for many reasons Doesn't call. Doesn't text. Doesn't open up the door. Doesn't ask how you're doing. Puts his friends before you. Says how he loves to be single. Says he hates having a girlfriend. You initiate all contact. When you're at his place, you fend for yourself with everything, including cleaning up after him. he calls and texts almost everyday, asking hows my day, whats going on etc. i barely txt him first and i never call him first. C. Just looking to get laid. Talks about sex constantly. Makes unrealistic promises about the future that just don't add up to where he is in life and where you're relationship is currently at. Tries to feel you up on the 1-3rd date. Sends you texts about being horny. he has been very respectful on all 3 of our dates and a true gentleman. perhaps this is his game haha!D. Normal Minus the fact that there's no such thing as a normal guy, this guy would just be really into you, but not show signs of being desperate to get some and desperate to go out with you. He likes to spend time with you, tries to make time with you, but doesn't overdo it to the point where you wonder when was the last time he had female company that wasn't his mother. Knows when to make sexual comments, and when not to (meaning, not over text after a couple of dates in an inappropriate manner). And shows you and others much respect. he is leaving next weekend for a family function and made a point to say he would love to see me before he leaves. as far as the text from him, i was slightly offended because we are def not at that level, it makes me think he just has one thing on his mind, ughhhhhh to men!!! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 My now ex would say sexy things in the beginning- but not vulgar things- and there's a big deifference. He would say he couldn't wait to kiss me again, or things along that line. I would question this guys motives as you haven't even had sex yet and he's saying such things! Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 My now ex would say sexy things in the beginning- but not vulgar things- and there's a big deifference. He would say he couldn't wait to kiss me again, or things along that line. See, now, that's cute, and a whole different thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Irishlove Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 He has no couth. I'd cut him off and find someone else. I don't know what happend on your date though. You could have been talking about sex which gave him the impression it was ok. It depends on how you handled yourself as well. But a normal dateable guy would not speak like that to a girl he was pursueing. (I just wanted to see the bunny) hehehe Link to post Share on other sites
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