College teacher and his student's romantic relationship

[nana841121]

Say, a single 26-year-old guy who just achieved his

 

PHD and became a lecturer in an university. one of his students who is a 18-year-old freshman chased him.

 

he accepted , and broke up with his GF, and got together with this student.

 

Do you think it's against the teacher's ethic ?

 

I need advice and poll , please

[musemaj11]

He should get fired and the girl should be expelled.

[fishtaco]

That is against the rules at most schools.

 

I won't say "should" like musemaj11, so I'll say most likely, he'll get fired and she'll get expelled. Unless they have high level connections within the organization that can save them.

 

For better or for worse, ethics < laws < old boy's club.

[nana841121]

yes. that man is twisted and festsered inside.

 

He is a smart guy who got his doctor degree at a young age.

 

But he is a moron.

 

he has two affairs with girls who have BF

 

the worst part is he doesn't think he is wrong.

[one goal]

He should get fired and the girl should be expelled.

 

Why should the girl be expelled? That's just like saying I should be expelled for trying to go out with the hot teacher. That's stupid.

[denise_xo]

Why should the girl be expelled? That's just like saying I should be expelled for trying to go out with the hot teacher. That's stupid.

 

You should be expelled.

[nana841121]

Not trying, they are together now.

[windows]

Smart in the head doesn't count for a lot of emotional intelligence or common sense.

There are millions of stupid men in the world just as there are stupid women.

There's no changing that. All you can do is try to avoid the trainwreck that's passing by.

[makelemonade1974]

I teach at a university and I'll say that this sort of thing happens quite a bit. As the two people you speak of are generally close in age - I consider 18 and mid-20's to be pretty much on the same page in a lot of ways - it is understandable. I don't think he would get fired even were his department head to find out about it, although he might get reprimanded. Is the student currently in his class or is she a former student? With a former student, there is no way he would get in trouble. The issue is whether or not her grade was affected by their sexual relationship - there might be some sort of review or something.

 

I know all sorts of people that have slept with students - even one Prof who married one of his grad students. Grad students and Profs occasionally get involved, although it is frowned upon, but they do often drink together socially. Personally, I think being involved with an 18-yr-old is akin to child molestation, as most of my 18-yr-old students are so naive and young. All these people are technically adults though, so such things happen.

 

I think maybe you should examine your own motives. I think I may have read about this story on another thread - this man is your ex-boyfriend? I wonder is it really going to make you feel better to ruin his career? People work really hard to get PhD's - we're talking 9-11 years of training from start to finish. I'm working on my dissertation right now and I've been in college for 9 years. It is a dog-eat-dog competitive publish or perish environment, and this guy has probably worked his butt off just to get a lecturer position. I'm sure he is hoping for a tenure-track job eventually and your move in reporting him would threaten that and make the last 9-11 years of his life a waste. Do you really want to do that for revenge?

 

Part of why the disciplinary procedures for such behavior are so lax is because PhD's have invested so much time into their careers. These people are both adults. Ethical or unethical, in my opinion, it's none of your business.

[irc333]

You an adjunct or full time? Wouldn't mind having you as a teacher. ;-)

 

Most young teachers tend to be adjuncts, while the remain staff, well, let's say that person has to retire or die before they hire on someone else. lol

 

I don't I've witnessed this myself, but you do rarelysee a YOUNG teacher at a college, and I wouldn't put it past them to fraternize with their student.

 

But better wait until after the semester is over. lol

 

I teach at a university and I'll say that this sort of thing happens quite a bit. As the two people you speak of are generally close in age - I consider 18 and mid-20's to be pretty much on the same page in a lot of ways - it is understandable. I don't think he would get fired even were his department head to find out about it, although he might get reprimanded. Is the student currently in his class or is she a former student? With a former student, there is no way he would get in trouble. The issue is whether or not her grade was affected by their sexual relationship - there might be some sort of review or something.

 

I know all sorts of people that have slept with students - even one Prof who married one of his grad students. Grad students and Profs occasionally get involved, although it is frowned upon, but they do often drink together socially. Personally, I think being involved with an 18-yr-old is akin to child molestation, as most of my 18-yr-old students are so naive and young. All these people are technically adults though, so such things happen.

 

I think maybe you should examine your own motives. I think I may have read about this story on another thread - this man is your ex-boyfriend? I wonder is it really going to make you feel better to ruin his career? People work really hard to get PhD's - we're talking 9-11 years of training from start to finish. I'm working on my dissertation right now and I've been in college for 9 years. It is a dog-eat-dog competitive publish or perish environment, and this guy has probably worked his butt off just to get a lecturer position. I'm sure he is hoping for a tenure-track job eventually and your move in reporting him would threaten that and make the last 9-11 years of his life a waste. Do you really want to do that for revenge?

 

Part of why the disciplinary procedures for such behavior are so lax is because PhD's have invested so much time into their careers. These people are both adults. Ethical or unethical, in my opinion, it's none of your business.

[makelemonade1974]

I'm what's called a "Graduate Teaching Associate" - I teach freshman courses in exchange for a stipend and free tuition. I'm an ABD (all but dissertation) PhD student.

 

Adjunct is the worst possible position you can get. If this guy's a lecturer, he's probably got a contract w/ health benefits and decent wages (not good, but decent)

[irc333]

I'm what's called a "Graduate Teaching Associate" - I teach freshman courses in exchange for a stipend and free tuition. I'm an ABD (all but dissertation) PhD student.

 

Adjunct is the worst possible position you can get. If this guy's a lecturer, he's probably got a contract w/ health benefits and decent wages (not good, but decent)

 

 

Worst? Why is that? I think some people do it as a 2nd job or something though.

 

We had this woman that was quite pretty actually, probably mid 30's (I was mid 20's)...conservative type, she taught a business communications course, but she did have a regular job though.

[makelemonade1974]

She's probably a part-time adjunct. Adjuncts are paid by the course - and it's often terrible pay. The more courses you teach, the more money you make. Imagine teaching 4-5 courses in a semester. I teach 2 and grade something between 150 -200 formal papers over the course of the semester (not including homework assignments), depending on the class. Smart people design the courses so the grading load is not as tough - they read fast, etc. but either way it's hard work.

[one goal]

I teach at a university and I'll say that this sort of thing happens quite a bit. As the two people you speak of are generally close in age - I consider 18 and mid-20's to be pretty much on the same page in a lot of ways - it is understandable. I don't think he would get fired even were his department head to find out about it, although he might get reprimanded. Is the student currently in his class or is she a former student? With a former student, there is no way he would get in trouble. The issue is whether or not her grade was affected by their sexual relationship - there might be some sort of review or something.

 

I know all sorts of people that have slept with students - even one Prof who married one of his grad students. Grad students and Profs occasionally get involved, although it is frowned upon, but they do often drink together socially. Personally, I think being involved with an 18-yr-old is akin to child molestation, as most of my 18-yr-old students are so naive and young. All these people are technically adults though, so such things happen.

 

I think maybe you should examine your own motives. I think I may have read about this story on another thread - this man is your ex-boyfriend? I wonder is it really going to make you feel better to ruin his career? People work really hard to get PhD's - we're talking 9-11 years of training from start to finish. I'm working on my dissertation right now and I've been in college for 9 years. It is a dog-eat-dog competitive publish or perish environment, and this guy has probably worked his butt off just to get a lecturer position. I'm sure he is hoping for a tenure-track job eventually and your move in reporting him would threaten that and make the last 9-11 years of his life a waste. Do you really want to do that for revenge?

 

Part of why the disciplinary procedures for such behavior are so lax is because PhD's have invested so much time into their careers. These people are both adults. Ethical or unethical, in my opinion, it's none of your business.

 

See? It wasn't inappriopriate to ask my teacher out.

[EasyHeart]

I've worked as an adjunct professor. I definitely didn't do it for the money!!!

[makelemonade1974]

Yeah easyheart did it for the ladies. Hey easy - run over to the breakup board and see what stupid crap I've done now. I'm an impulsive train wreck.

[EasyHeart]

Yeah easyheart did it for the ladies. Hey easy - run over to the breakup board and see what stupid crap I've done now. I'm an impulsive train wreck.

Ummmm, no. If you knew what I taught, you would realize how funny that is. My classes were definite sausage-fests!

[AzaleaBelle]

While in college, I dated one of my former instructors. He was 27, I was 22. We ended up dating for three years. I don't think that he should have been fired. I certainly shouldn't have been expelled. Like Lemonade said, they are both adults.

 

From what I understand, at my University teaches could only be reprimanded for engaging in a sexual relationship with one of their current students. That was more about favoritism than anything else.

[EasyHeart]

Don't most schools have written policies on this sort of thing. It seems like it should come up fairly often.

[Mrlonelyone]

Let's just say that dating a lower ranking person is never a good career move.

 

That is so in any business. It may not get one fired. However getting promoted may not be as forthcoming.

[one goal]

While in college, I dated one of my former instructors. He was 27, I was 22. We ended up dating for three years. I don't think that he should have been fired. I certainly shouldn't have been expelled. Like Lemonade said, they are both adults.

 

From what I understand, at my University teaches could only be reprimanded for engaging in a sexual relationship with one of their current students. That was more about favoritism than anything else.

 

Agree. Then why are others telling me that it is wrong to ask my teacher out?

[AzaleaBelle]

Agree. Then why are others telling me that it is wrong to ask my teacher out?

 

I'm not gonna play under your bridge.

[makelemonade1974]

I'm not gonna play under your bridge.

 

I love this one. Fabulous.

[Mrlonelyone]

Agree. Then why are others telling me that it is wrong to ask my teacher out?

 

Because in your case the woman wasn't interested.

 

You have to bear in mind the way many of the people here think, in general and not just about situations of a teacher and a student.

 

If a man comes onto a woman in any way at all... and she is interested then he's a player and a great wonderful guy who should be emmulated.

 

While if another man comes onto a woman and she's not interested in his advances then he's a creepy, stalkerish, perverted potential child molester ... etc. You get the idea.

 

If you had did what you did and the teacher had accepted your advances and screwed your brains out you would be a god. Since she rejected you people feel a need to jump on the dog pile and shame you a bit more.

 

(Did you know some lonely guy here said he was going to kill himself. Was berated and shamed to no end. Then disappeared from here. If some here will do that....)

[one goal]

Because in your case the woman wasn't interested.

 

You have to bear in mind the way many of the people here think, in general and not just about situations of a teacher and a student.

 

If a man comes onto a woman in any way at all... and she is interested then he's a player and a great wonderful guy who should be emmulated.

 

While if another man comes onto a woman and she's not interested in his advances then he's a creepy, stalkerish, perverted potential child molester ... etc. You get the idea.

 

If you had did what you did and the teacher had accepted your advances and screwed your brains out you would be a god. Since she rejected you people feel a need to jump on the dog pile and shame you a bit more.

 

 

Agree. In a way its partially the teachers fault because she's single and wouldn't give me a chance, plus she ignores me sometimes and is snappy at times now at me. It's not fair how she judged me like this thinking I'm a bad guy.