aquaria127 Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 is it possible to get into a committed relationship if one party doesn't yet have their sh*t wrapped up. if they don't have their life together or not achieving their goals yet. maybe the person is really great and isn't a slacker, but isn't seeing the results of their work and dedication yet because of crappy circumstances? in this case would it be better to stick around and give them the benefit of the doubt instead of looking for someone different? Life is long. I know I haven't got it all down yet. But by a certain age maybe people should have some things going on? by this, I mean: Having a job, living in a place, finding reliable transportation, paying your debts and bills, making rules and following them ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 You have to be a little more specific here... How old is this person you're talking about? If he/she is like 17 with no job and doesn't have it together, that's kind of understandable but if you're talking about someone who's like 25 then those kinds of things DO matter. If you could be more specific, then I might be able to help you out more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aquaria127 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 I sometimes forget that I'm not being specific enough and that no one here knows me personally (that I know of). I'm 25, he's 24. he moved to LA about 2 months ago to get a job in the film producing industry. He just found a job calling potential investors and is trying to save money to get a regular place to stay. he's bouncing around between hotels, his grandma's house, his cousins and friends' places. He's renting a car, his parents are helping him pay for some gas and hotels on their credit card. I know he's not a slacker because he's produced a film that played at film festivals and won some awards, he's a college graduate, he founded a film festival. he's a good person and everything but right now his life is totally unstable. I'm starting my career and getting my own stuff taken care of (paying student loans, fixing my credit, etc). Our relationship will be long distance unless we work/live nearby or can spend money to travel every x-months/weeks, or if he doesn't make any money and would be forced to come home. when he calls me about how he had to ask his friend to take a shower in their apartment, or not having enough money to do laundry.... I think about how when I was in college, there were times I had to go to a church to get food, steal soap from office buildings, ride the bus or walk, etc. so I can empathize. then I think about what my daily gripes are now- my bosses told me I had 10 days vacation but now i only have 7, or people put papers all over my desk and I couldn't find a notebook. It feels weird about being normal and responsible and I'm not in the same boat as him. I hope this works out. not just the money thing, though if he doesn't start making enough to live on, I know it could become an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Ok, well it isn't as bad as I thought. He's a college graduate, has goals, and is working to acheive them. Those are positive things. The field he is trying to pursue, is not an easy one. It requires instability at first in order to get in the business and all that goes along with the film industry. I give him a lot of props for going for what he wants. That says a lot about his character. Yes, you two are at different paths in your life right now but that doesn't mean your paths will never meet. If you really like this guy, I would definitely try and make it work. He's a point in his life right now where he needs to be unstable in order to be successful in the future. Stick by him and see what happens. Along the way you'll get a feel for whether it's worth it or not. You'll never know if you never try! Link to post Share on other sites
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